Completely serious question. I was talking to one of my guy friends about my biggest insecurity (being single) and he told me I'm single because I chose to go to college and actually study. Like, seriously, he said most girls put more effort into finding a man than I did which is why I'm the only one of my friends who is single/not married/not in a relationship. And he said a lot of guys are not attracted to a girl with a career who is taking care of herself. He said I'm really pretty and funny and if I had relied more on that instead of my GPA, I would have a husband by now. I then asked my cousin, who is 32, and he said that was true, that most guys don't go after girls who study and work careers and what have you.
Please tell me that's not true. If it is, I think I might die a little on the inside.
I personally don't see it as unattractive at all. Quite the opposite. Educational achievements are associated with strong work ethic and intelligence. I can almost always carry an intelligent conversation with a girl who is educated. Men feel the need to be the breadwinners and and biology will always make us feel that way. A strong sense to be the provider is completley normal.
If I carried a B. S. and my significant other carried a masters I wouldn't really care to be honest.. if she was making a significant more amount of money than me than that might bother me a little to be honest.
That being said I also think a lot of women could be happier at home raising the kids and having a family. While that might insult a lot of people on here I really do think it's true. Women are naturally the nurturers and would be more comfortable like that. Society tells them otherwise though.. that they need to go out and work full time and they shame house moms. My dad was the breadwinner and made good money. My mom was a stay at home mom but later became a school teacher. She loved both.. she got to work at the same elementary school that her kids were at. She was always home with us and they have a great marriage. My point being in saying all that is that it could be seen as a turn off if you come off with that raunchy condescending 'I'm an independent bitch' type of attitude. I know a lot of girls who act like that and it's a turnoff to me. Education alone though.. a huge turn on.
Your friend sounds really insecure and his standards on women sound of those that live in a trailer park if he thinks that is the reason you are single lol.
it IS unattractive. at the end of the day... a guy might say he likes a professional, an educated woman, but you still have to be openly girly, sexual, flirty. he still has to be the center of your world. they need to be leaned on to feel important and powerful. lately, i've been getting a lot "you need to let a man be a man" bullshit. so... i understand your plight. at the same time, i don't want to be with someone who... is super passive or whatever. it's... confusing. I don't know what to do lol.
Being educated and having a career is fine but your career is all you care about and is your number 1 focus why would I want to get involved in that, or I guess "interfere"
Now being educated and having a career is a wonderful thing in a woman but if you can't balance out your relationship with your career/education then it's not going to work, especially if things get more serious as no guy wants to be in a relationship where they always come in 2nd to a job or something, but if you can balance those two things then your golden.
And I can actually say these things because I've had experience in this area being with someone like that and it's quite frankly not enjoyable and it's not healthy.
From my personal experience women who are into their career are selfish, unfeminine and their guy is never their top priority - which in a functioning relationship it should be.
This whole "we women can have it all" is incorrect. No, no one can have it all. Life is about priorities. And if you made your education your top priority you naturally had less time and effort put into finding the right partner. And that is unattractive. Guys do want to be their girls top priority and as far as I know girls want the same from the guy.
I think it's common to find men who find ambitious women unattractive.
There are some negative connotations that come women who are career driven:
-They do not prioritise relationships and are more unwilling to compromise on it. -They become less dependent on their partner which could make the man insecure questioning why you are with him in the first place (for many men, masculinity is very alive and well.) -It's not really feminine to be career driven (gender roles are still valued by others to some extent.)
I guess you can say that your friend and cousin are part of those men who believe that a women should be more reserved in their career path because the man should be the one for that. Perhaps, men who think this way aren't so secure themselves but it's a common perception.
To summarise, many guys want girls who "need" relationships rather than "want" one.
I've heard of guys being intimidated by such women. But in my opinion, it's completely stupid to tell any person, male or female, to not better themselves for the sake of a relationship. I'm going to school to live a better life and doing other stuff as well, to meet a female who's doing the same is damn near a must! You don't have to listen to me cause I'm just 1guy, but I thought what they were saying is just stupid and wrong.
"Career women" think that their cubicle-gopher HR job is soooo amazing, and anyone that doesn't have an education one level higher than theirs and a position that at least sounds two levels higher than theirs isn't even human. What's hilarious is, they're stressed out by a job they hate that pays a third to half of what I make, and I not only love what I do, I have almost zero stress from it, and I leave what little I get at work each day. But hey, I understand, status and all that.
I don't feel the need to compete with whoever I'm dating. We're supposed to complement each other. Career women are worse about understanding that than other women.
The problem is that people will try to match the level of ambition of their potential mates.
So those who don't have the same ambitions won't like you. Mind you "ambition" and "good job" are totally separate; some people just go to get a "good job" and leave never attaining a career even if they are in a generally accepted career role while some people go and chase ambitions even if they get a "bad job" such as teachers and the like. They definitely don't do it for the pay.
So you see, the reality is simple:
Most people aren't ambitious and most people don't want others who are more ambitious than them as partners.
Since when is ambition bad? Of course not, educated/career girl is not unattractive. The problem is not the career or ambition. But what comes first her relationship or career. Guys are unforgiving in this regard, if her carrer is more important then guys don't see that relationship as investment. These are the kind of girls who are usually single.
Alternatively you just need to find a guy who is ok to being stay at home dad or take most of child care responsibilities. Problem then is ambitious girls like yourself woulnt' find them attractive.
Career/Educated girls are very appealing. They are smart, ambitious, confident. But its the priorities that determine if guys want a relationship, not just her career.
Your friend sounds like nerd who never got laid and always bitched about bullying lol I mean my mom is pretty hella rich and I have no problem with living on her money all time ha but I am d1 bound for next year and definitely going pro but if I didn't, I know for sure my mom will hook me up good and whatever I am doing. Itd actually be even better if chick I marry make more than me because it's coming more in lol
Depends on the guy. If your both professionals and never have time for on another due to your careers, it could end up in a failed relationship. If you don't mind guys who like staying at home being Mr. Mom, it's probably not an issue. Maybe you can find a happy medium.
it's more complicated then. in part your friend is correct. being an Educated/Career Girl is indication of strength, someone who won't be manipulated by abusers, cheaters or players. where as say... a party girl doesn't have that strength, they only want to have fun,, meaning, they'll do anything for even the smallest of thrills... and i do mean ANYTHING...
1950 - less women pursued careers - marriage and relationships doing great
2016 - more women getting college education - most amount of singles in history
Why do the poll results show the opposite?
İf you want to be an attractive woman , start from your character. Be polite and respectful. You will be so attractive than the other ways. Don't judge people , don't use bad words to people etc.
You get a different group of men interested into you. You could also ask "Is a girl who colored her hair pink unattractive?" There are guys interested into different kinds. Some think "dumb girls are easier to fuck/get hooked up/more fun so I choose them", some think "I want a girl I can have a more complex conversation with than about the colors of her shoes" (indepepentend of the correctness of the opinions). But it is also true that prioritizing career over relationship/your partner too much will make you less attractive to them. So don't forget to not be too stiff and don't forget your partner beside your carreer ;)