Just an issue I need to get off my chest. I heard through the grapevine that my ex said I tried to destroy her life and friendships, lied about a lot and was a control freak for why she left me. I know this sounds like drama garbage but I have a serious question. Will this bad history affect friendships and/or love with mutual friends? Do I need to find new people? How can I convince people that I'm not the person described above and that I've changed?
Most Helpful Girl
It's not about convincing people. You need to be honest with yourself of the things you did do, and not do them again. Anybody can tell a good story, but their actions speak louder then their words. This relationship you had with her was not about love, nor was it about that. Both you and her needs to mature and learn how to love a person without thinking about yourself. Love is a sacrifice of your wants. You both were selfish to each other. It isn't all you and it isn't all on her. So stop blaming each other, it takes two to tango.2
Most Helpful Guy
Trying hard to convince people of things often creates more of that original kind of drama. Trying to justify everything is often a key to drama in unhealthy relationships.
It's better to just kind of recognize those faults in yourself (possibly exaggerated by the ex, but there might be some ring of truth) and go about your daily basis. Don't even try so hard to prove people wrong, that'll tend to go back to the whole kind of justification trend.
Just try to be happy, do your thing, and if you've changed, people will begin to see that.0