Guys, if you've been badly hurt in the past does it change the way you date? If so how?

Let's say you were in a multiple year relationship and your partner and left you for another guy which leaves you heart broken. When you start dating again how does this affect you?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Rebound. I start dating girls and then comparing them to my ex and being disappointed by all the things I find different in the new girlfriend.

    I usually end up hurting them even though I didn't mean to do so. Sometimes since I can't fall in love with them, I take it as an excuse to act the way I want, not make an effort, and then get even more annoyed when they still like me.

    I found the only way I could get over it and stop rebounding was to fall in love with something, not someone. I fell in love with my career and hobbies and just started building a massive army of friends, hundreds of them after the devastating break up.

    That's when I finally found I had moved on, when my calendar was so filled and I had so many things I was excited to wake up and do that my ex had faded away from my mind. She's always there though to some degree, but the feelings are no longer there.

    It was then that I was able to start dating again properly without thinking at all about my ex, enjoying the girl in front of me for who she is, as different as she is from that ex. And I finally found a second girl I fell for just as deeply when I wasn't looking for it, and got married.

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    • I think you have to fall in love with something as much (as big) as the hole left behind. In my case I didn't think I had a heart left at all, I thought I lost the ability to love. So I had to get hundreds of friends and was greedy for more, and I had to develop hobbies I was more interested in than ever before to start kind of becoming normal again.

What Guys Said 2

  • Yes it does. I do not date anymore sadly. 😞

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  • yes it does, i become more careful.

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