Girls, what may this text from my date mean?

I went on a first date yesterday with a girl I met online whom I've been talking to for 10 weeks via text. The reason we hadn't met before is the distance, her reluctance to meet (afraid) and both being somewhat busy. We went for a coffee and I felt the conversation flowed, we were together for over 3 hours and although she spent most of the time looking anywhere but at me I felt it was successful barring perhaps the fact she didn't find me attractive in person.
Anyway a few minutes after leaving one another she messaged saying that there was no pressure to get together again and that she 'was pretty silly for assuming whilst on the date that I would want to see her again'. I responded by telling her I had a lot of fun and would like to see her again but if she perhaps got nothing from the date that she could tell me and it would be fine.
In response she wrote -
'I would quite like to see you again when you get back from your travels, you can tell me all about your exciting adventures! (going round Europe for a month) However tbh, I still don't have any idea where this is going, or if it's going anywhere. I don't want to lead you on and give you the impression I'm ready to jump into any kind of relationship, firstly because I barely know you and secondly because I physically do not have time to commit to anyone right now (hopefully if/when I get a proper job that will change, but for now I've got a lot on my plate). It would be cool to keep in touch and get to know you properly because you seem like a nice guy, but I totally understand if you'd rather date someone who's a bit more sure of things feelings-wise. Basically what I'm saying is that if we do meet up again, for me it will still be a pretty casual thing (albeit one that terrifies me!) and I want to make sure we're on the same page. Does that make any kind of sense? Whatever happens it was so nice to meet you and I really appreciate you being so kind and understanding and interesting :) xx

I've never insinuated that I want to jump into a relationship. In fact I would prefer to take it slow and really get to know her, so I am not sure why she made that point other than to indirectly tell me she'll never be interested. The text reads like she is letting me down gently, phrase like 'quite like to and 'nice guy' aren't exactly glowing endorsements. I do really like her and would love to get to know her but if she doesn't feel the same way it can only end in me being left disappointed.


Most Helpful Girl

  • She's not sure what she wants. In my opinion it was very rude of her to look around and not give you her full attention. She might just want to be friends, but honestly? I would look for a secure and happy girl who knows what she wants from life. This girl isn't sure of what she wants, and if she's looking around that behaviour might not change later on in a relationship with her.


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What Girls Said 3

  • She was pretty detailed and explanatory so that text means everything that she said in it. She would like to see you again, but for an unknown amount of time she will not be available for anything serious and seems that she won't have much time for something casual even. So if you are looking for a regular dating situation where you see each other regularly, she cannot do that right now.

  • She was as straight forward as one could get? What didn't you get?

  • She wants to be just friends