How do you know a first date with someone was not a fail?

So how do you guys and gals know that a date was not a complete fail?
I don't have much experience with dates and was quite curious bout it... especially since i was on a date 3 days ago and am not quite sure it was success. It all started great, lunch, walk... but a little before the movie started a mutual male friend of ours joined us and that's when I became the third wheel :/ The guy I went out with was super nervous, it was quite obvious but could that be a reason enough to call for help? I'm not quite sure... and I still haven't got a call or anything from him so yeah, probably was a fail lol

Updates:
p. s. : I did texted him, nothing that sounds desperate or anything. No answer or read. He is purposely ignoring me. At the end of the date he gave me a long hug so i consider it a success and now the silence is weird.

Do you people believe in "the 3 days"?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • if you want to see them again after teh date is over... it was a success.

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    • by the way.. why don't pick up the phone... and fucking call him yourself instead of sitting around like a useless duck.

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    • one call is suffocating?

    • 1. the situation is differenct.

      2. the guy you're calling isn't the guy in the past.

      if people like different kinds of music, it's safe to say some aren't suffocated by what others can't handle.

Most Helpful Girl

  • No , if you guys were happy as in laughs and giggles then it wasn't a fail

    However, if there is a thirdwheel then maybe that made it awkward and there is always the possibility that he was nervous.

    Give it time, he will call.

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What Guys Said 24

  • Going to a movie on a first date is a pretty bad sign right there. You should be somewhere you can talk and get to know each other a bit. A short activity to have a little fun is fine too, but not a 2-3 hours long movie in the dark.

    Also, if you're on a "date", but a third person shows up, it's no longer a date. If I was on a date with a woman and one of her friends showed up and they started hanging out, I'd leave and go do something else. Of course if you're in a relationship and a friend shows up to hang out a bit that's usually ok, but on the first couple dates it should be just thw two of you getting to know each other.

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    • I agree that going to a movie on a first date is a bad idea, because you don't get to interact with the other person and that's like the purpose of dating.

  • When you're having breakfast with them the next morning...

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  • A first date is successful if you met and thought your date was attractive, you soon became engrossed in conversation and lost your self-consciousness, if you learned some things about your date that made you feel some respect for them, if you didn't want the date to end when it did, and if you are sitting around wondering when he will call to ask you for the next date.

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  • Stop waiting for his call, call him yourself and find out more.

    I don't know who invented this idea that you should wait around next to a phone and not call or at least wait a good time to avoid looking desperate, but it's silly.

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  • If you aren't thinking it would be nice to kiss this guy then it's a failed date. No big deal, that's why we date. One summer I had seventeen first dates and no second dates. Six months later I met my wife.

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  • Lol the guy is probably ashamed and doesn't have the courage to face you. If you act with him like everything was great, he might realize it wasn't so bad and he might be willing to try again if you still want to. Try to get to see him again but don't mention the date before you can be alone with him in flesh or he will flee. If you ask him if you were OK as a date, he might realize that you feel bad just like him. It might be enough to disarm the situation.

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  • Usually you'd get a follow up text within a few hours maybe, not three days. If that much time has passed, and no word, I'd say it's safe to assume he's moved on.

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  • I rarely decide if I want to see her again after the first date, unless she is hopelessly uneducated and stupid, too, then I really don't see conversing her about anything.

    Getting nervous is to be expected, after all it's someone new and you're trying your damnedest to not make yourself look stupid. I used to share that concern, now I don't care. I will make a public scene if only to have a little fun.

    I don't know what would constitute as a 'fail'. If we had a fun night, then that's gravy, no?

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  • I dunno but if you feel good about it, then I guess it's not a fail in the end. My first one wasn't bad but it could have went better - my fault I'd say.

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  • He's waiting for yoru reaction.
    If he was nervous, he's into you.

    What about you? want to see him again?

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    • Yeah of course I want to see him again. We share so many interests and used to text/talk for hours. And now nothing. We'll see tomorrow, we have a shift together at work, but it might be awkward...

    • Nah, it will be alright.
      Invite him for a date if he doesn't invite you.

  • If they don't reply or call after 2 days or seem unresponsive or want a second date... don't waist your time.

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  • When you both plan a second date.

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  • If you had fun and enjoy the time. It is a success. Don't think too much getting the guy or girl. Enjoy your date that all.

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  • First ask yourself
    1 Didi have a good time?
    2 would I like to do it again?
    3 if yes then ask him.
    If he ignores you don't worry. Just move on. That's what the dating game is like. And the more dates you go on the better at it you will be.
    I got craped on by a bird my first date.

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  • A good indicator of success is when a second date is scheduled.

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    • Not necessarily. That di dnot apply with me

    • @kitty71 Same. Planned the second date with her, couple days later she never replied to my calls.

    • @CumminsTomic In my case the guy and I did talk about going out and we both agree but taht never happened due to circumstances I still do not understand one year later

  • If he makes you orgasm at the end of the night is a good indicator.

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  • They contact you after the date
    The Date went longer then planned
    They mention future plans with you

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  • if they contact you again and if they don't after a week then it's over

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  • If you had fun and enjoyed yourself then it was a success.

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  • I guess they would want to hear from you again

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  • You get a second date

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  • Sounds like it might be okay

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  • If you like him you've just gotta suck it up and be brave. Stop being passive. This is your life and you'll never have full control of the outcomes but you don't have to let it just steamroll over you. Call him up if you liked him. Send a text. Literally the worse thing that could happen is the guy who didn't want to date you still doesn't want to date you but even in that scenario you dont have to sit around waiting and wondering you can move on. Most girls I know for some reason think guys actually do things on purpose like we don't get caught up in emotional confusion too. You've probably missed out on tons of solid relationships waiting on guys. The slightest bit of proactivety from a girl can go sooooo far. Just call/text him. It won't hurt. And if it does it won't last for long.

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  • When you text a girl after the date and she doesn't "ghost" you.

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What Girls Said 18

  • If you felt a spark and you got the ball rolling (like, conversation-wise) despite any nervousness or awkward silences here and there, it should be a pretty good indicator of the date having gone well. Sometimes the feelings might not be mutual even if the date went well, but generally I think that if you feel it click, the other person probably feels it too.
    The guy probably thinks he hecked up or something, called for backup and then ended up feeling guilty for basically turning your date into a public hangout sesh.
    You should probably reach out to him yourself and ask if he wants to do it again sometime. Tell him you had a great time. Maybe somehow sneak in that you'd also prefer it if it was just the two of you. See how he reacts. If he's interested, he'll say yes. If he's disinterested, he might not respond, bluntly say no, or keep giving you vague excuses as to why he doesn't have the time or whatever. Don't be afraid of contacting him though. He might just think that you think the date went to hell, so why even bother. If you're interested in him still, you've got to show your interest.

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  • well, my last first date was a smashing success lol.

    how i knew: we had tons in common, there were no gaps in conversation, and we've been inseparable ever since. what was supposed to be a 2-3 hour coffee date turned into a day-long adventure, and we're still enjoying each other's company to this day. :)

    at this point, the ball is in his court. if you don't hear from him after a week, consider it a bust and move on... you can also try to casually invite him out with a group of friends and see how he responds.

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  • ... was it by chance the other friend joined or was he actively invited or encouraged to join when you guys ran into him?

    If you're curious, I don't see the harm in you sending him a text something along the lines of "Hey, I had a great time with you on [whatever day]. I'd love to do that again without [friend's name] this time lol" (keep it light but be straight up about it)

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    • He texted that he wanted to join us for the movie...15minutes before the movie started =D I did sent him a small text, but haven't even read it yet, not to mention answer. After the movie he did mention that the two of us should go on a small trip soon.. so I'm not sure why is he ignoring any conversation -_-

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    • I did texted him, told him that I had fun and will be happy if we go out again :) .. but no answer from him yet.

    • I'd say move on. Don't wait around on anyone

  • Seriously, if a guy really likes you, he will have asked you to a second date by the end of the first date! There will be no game playing.

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  • I don't think you can ever know 100% from the first date (unless it was a complete fail)

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  • I'd just simply say if there was a connection of some sort and they both went home happy.

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  • It was not a fail if he texts within a week or if he answers your text within a day. If he's just ignoring you, I think it's not going to work out.

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    • I texted him yesterday and he hasn't even read it... not much activity as well, so I assume he is busy :D we work together so it's inevitable to talk... he's been ignoring his social media I wonder if he's following the 3 day rule or whatever

    • Maybe he doesn't have his read receipt on or he thought 'I'll text her later' and sort of forgot.

  • when there comes a second one?

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  • On your end, if you would consider going out with them a second time. If they contact you within a few days after the date, they want to see you again.

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  • I he was nervous, and you liked him call him yourself :)

    I honestly don't know because I always survive for a while

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  • You will know it's instinct

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  • When you get a second date usually.

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  • If you feel that both of you enjoy your date, having a good conversation, able to exchange number and if you receive a call or text for another date.

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  • Well you can also be first to text him as well. And if he doesn't reply or if you suggest another date and he doesn't want to, then you'll most likely stay friends or won't be anything at all.

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  • Arrange to meet again, if he's up for it then you know it was a success and he enjoyed the first one.

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  • if you get a text, it wasn't a fail.

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  • They connect you fir a second date

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  • If there's a second date. Only way

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    • I had plans to go on a second date with a guy last year but it was a fail, it never took place so a second date does nto mean a sucess

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