I am having lunch today with a girl I like who works with me. This will be the first time we dine together. I like her but she doesn't know that. It's not a lunch date or anything. Should I pay for our meal or we each pay for our stuff? I was raised to always pay for the girl but my friend told me since it's not a date and we only have a co worker relationship right now I don't need to. I am still confused on what I should do. Anybody have any suggestions? Thanks for ur input!
do it if you want to, don't do it if you don't want to. You are going out with a colleague, technically you don't have to... But if you feel comfortable and would like to do so, go ahead and offer and see what she says.. If she really prefers to pay for herself, then let her.. If she doesn't mind you paying after you offer, then go ahead..
There are no such rules about these things. Just do what feels comfortable to you and see how she reacts... Unless she is extremely aagainst it or extremely towards you need to pay then decide for yourself whether you want to continue asking her out :)
If you want to be Kind and Generous with a Gesture with Someone Special, then Tell her when the Bill comes, "Lunch is on me." Of course, she will smile all the while and She may even Say, "Oh, you didn't have to do that." And if so, tell her without much Wry, "Next time you can treat." This may get you a Big tip with her here, dear. Good luck and Enjoy. xx
while you're not obligated to pay for her stuff, it's definitely nice to offer (especially if you asked her to lunch). not only will you seem more chivalrous but, if you say "you can get the next one" and she agrees, then you've just secured a second date lol.
No? Maybe for the very first date just for the sake of being symbolic and all but after that, I'd say to go dutch. Assuming both of you have similar incomes/expenses, there is no reason as to why she can't pay for herself.
What if the guy always offers to pay? I had often told myself that since many of my boyfriends offered to pay every time, then they must actually like paying for me. They had made their choices so why shouldn’t I reap the benefits?
But guys, like women, are also battling against social expectations of their behavior. If a guy insists on paying the bill, it might not be because he just enjoys paying.
Maybe he has all sorts of warped ideas about money and masculinity, like that he's less of a man unless he makes X amount of money, has X kind of car, works at X kind of job, etc.
He might be doing it because it is what is expected of them. Never questioning the ''guy always pays'' dynamic can open the door to a whole range of relationship problems, including frustration, or worse, resentment.
It's always best to spilit up the bill, in my opinion.
They don't have too, but it is nice. When I worked in an office, a work mate paid for my lunch when we had to go out of the office for work. It was a nice gesture. I took care of his office plants while he was on holidays, picked up his dry cleaning if I was going past etc. so I think one good turn, comes back.
I don't know. I think it's definitely polite to pay for her meal. Did you invite her out? Even if it isn't a date, that's probably the best thing to do. ( example: a pastor invited me out to get some coffee and discuss some things about the church. It obviously wasn't a date, as he's married and like, 20 years older than me, but he payed for coffee.) If it's just a casual get-together though, I wouldn't worry about paying.
Well, you like her so it's a good chance to drop some hints that you're interested. Your friend is right, but you don't just see her as a co worker. You see her as a potential girlfriend. I would offer to pay, and if she declines, ask if she's sure but don't push it.
You should pay just to be a gentleman but you aren't dating, so it's not like you have to. I've never gone out to eat with a guy who didn't pay for me, even if we were just friends, and I didn't expect them to pay, they just did it.
I don't think she's expecting you to pay though, so if you don't, you should be fine.
I believe if it's not a relationship, she should pay for her own. She shouldn't just assume you'll pay because you're being a "gentleman" or whatever. I know some girls might assume that the guy will pay just because he's the guy, but they shouldn't. Although, it is always polite and nice to offer to pay just because.
Well it depends on how you phrased the question. If you asked to take her out for lunch then yeah maybe but if you just asked if she wanted to have lunch with you then I don't think you should be expected to pay. If it's something you want to do then go ahead and offer it but it shouldn't be something expected on her part.
A girl should pay for herself if it's not a date. And if it's a date, whoever planned the date and invited the other should pay. Or go Dutch, that's fine too. I took a guy to the movies and paid for it all because I planned it and I insisted. He was hesitant to let me pay though
If you want to make a good impression treat her. You are not obliged, but it is a nice gesture. She will think highly of you. I know I would. Don't listen to your friend, he has zero clue about how women think. Does this girl like you?
Why should you pay for a woman's food, just because you are near her while she is eating it? You might as well pay for the women at the next table over while you are at it if that is your standard.
It isn't a date, and you have no relationship with her, therefore she doesn't fall under your umbrella of protection even by more traditional standards. Your paying for her, when it isn't even a date, would just come across as desperate at best.