Am I too emotional?

So, my grandma doesn't have a lot of time left. She can't really eat anymore and she can't see. The cancer has eaten away at her, sapped the strength out of her and we all kinda know what waits around the corner.

I don't really have anyone to talk about it with other than my boyfriend, but I try to keep it all in because whenever I do brush the subject and try to seek support, he just repeats the same platitudes like, "it's hard when family is ill" and "people move on" etc. And it makes me want to eat my own words and never talk about it ever again.

It actually makes me regret seeking his support.

My grandma isn't old, she's way too yyoung to be passing now. She's not an 80 year old lady in a rocking chair. She used to swim, walk miles and paint. But over the past year, the cancer has taken away all that. And it's hurting my entire family and my mom is very broken about it.

Is it just me being overly emotional? Should I stop seeking support from him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's natural to be upset. Be upset for as long as you need to be. It is a part of healing from pain. However, you should spend as much time with your grandmum as you can. Till date, the thing I regret the most was not spending enough time with my granddad, when fell ill and died last year. Not being sad when your grandparents are dying is not being 'strong'... It's being a coward.

    • I indeed am spending time with her. She cared for me and my sister when our mom was studying. She's a huge part of my life and I love her. It just pains me to see her wither away and pass away in the most terrible way. And it hurts to see my mom like this as well. Thus why I sought support from my boyfriend.

Most Helpful Girl

  • He either is not able, know how or wants to provide support. Seek out support groups.
    I'm sorry to hear this.


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What Guys Said 2

  • He does not know what to say. Nobody can actually be sure what to say to comfort someone. Best advice I can give is for you to tell him to listen and not say anything. Just be there for you to listen and hug you. Let you unburden yourself. But don't try to think of things to say. He should just listen.

    • Well that's the core of the problem. I used to do that but he'd tell me it was too much. He'd compare me to a waterfall and it was just too much. So I started to just keep it all to myself and I still do that. I may try to talk about it once a month. But I guess it's better to just stay off the subject entirely?

    • You can avoid the problem with him by not talking with him about that, but that means he is not being there for you. As I said, he should learn to shut up and just be there for you.

  • I'm sorry to hear he's being like that. these things are very hard to go through I experienced it with both of my granddads. spend as much time as you can with her while you can. no your not being overly emotional you deal with this on your own terms and in your own way and of course you should turn to family and friends for support


What Girls Said 2

  • Asking someone for support is better than being alone but maybe try getting support from family who's going through the same thing instead of an outsider

    • My family is my mom, dad, sister and brother and grandma. That's it and we're all suffering from this. There's no real support in suffering with them. I just thought it was normal to seek support and comfort from your partner?

    • Support is getting it from people who are also going through this. They understand, you could lean on each other.

  • He doesn't seem to be good at comforting people.