Does a guy's job make him attractive when he's in his late 20s/early 30s?

I am asking because at my age (21) I am still in college and at this point woman dont concern themselves at all with a guy's job and career prospects. Its still all about finding a guy they are physically attracted to (tall, muscular, handsome etc) and who they can have fun and share a laughter with. Thats the priority (btw, I am not judging in any away, its just what I've observed).

But later down the road when woman are in their late 20s or so they will be looking to settle down in which case a guy's job and career should be prioritized right? You know the stereotype that woman only pursue the top 20% of men, does this mean that if a guy at that point a doctor or lawyer etc he'll automatically be upgraded to the top 20% assuming he's not an asshole and not a fat slob?
That is the mere fact that he's a doctor makes him top 20% guy just as the mere fact that a guy is tall, big, muscular, good looking makes him a top 20% in his early 20s?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly I think it's not the job itself that's attractive, it's what comes with that. Like money, time, intelligence, etc.
    A doctor sounds like a good partner, BUT most doctors have irregular schedules, and that can really mess with a relationship. If you're always getting called into surgery at night and then have to rest during the day, yeah that could totally affect your relationship.
    Just like money can affect the relationship - are you making enough to provide for your lifestyle? As in, if you like to eat out a lot, are you making the money to do that? Making enough to have a place of your own? So women will only care how much a guy makes depending on his lifestyle: if she has expensive taste then yeah she's looking for someone who makes a lot. But if she has more of an average lifestyle, then she doesn't need anything more than an average salary.
    Job can also become attractive when it shows off your skills. A lot of people look down on trade jobs like plumbers, mechanics, etc., but honestly those jobs show that you are handy and will be able to help around the house - instead of hiring a plumber you can do the work yourself.
    So no, being a doctor does not automatically make you top 20%. Yes the money can be a big factor for some women, but other women don't care if you make as much as a doctor. Some women are more concerned with time than money, and if you can't spend any time with her because you're in surgery then being a doctor suddenly becomes unattractive. Being a doctor can help because it shows intelligence, but some doctors are also overly arrogant which can be a turn off.
    Bottom line: job can definitely have an impact, but not in the direct way that you think.

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    • I agree it has to do with lifestyle. If a woman is fine not being able to travel the world, eating out, wearing fancy clothes, living in the suburbs etc she won't care that much.
      However if her kids grow up intelligent and decide to pursue higher education at a prestigious but expensive institution she will struggle, so there's that.
      You also have to take into the consideration that a lot of time and stress goes into paying bills, mortages etc. If she's cool with that , good for her

    • obviously you need money for bills and stuff, but if you have an average sized house than an average paying job will cover the mortgage for it. Just like how if you want an expensive house then you need a high paying job. That's why I think it's related to what kind of lifestyle you intend on living. Some people honestly don't want a house that's too large.
      And you're right about college being expensive but again, if you save up and if the kid is smart they can get some scholarships.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I would say maybe not as much as you think. Having a stable income and career is an *endearing* quality, it's not an attraction quality.

    It doesn't tap into the instincts of luring a woman's gaze towards you.

    It's like being a good cook might be an endearing female quality to some men who want a traditional household, but it's probably not exactly what attracts you to a woman.

    I had the career thing going after university but I still had to make all sorts of adjustments to start attracting women. I was in decent physical shape from an active youth (six-pack), e. g. but I didn't understand the mindset to really draw a woman's attention. I was meek and timid.

    A lot of the qualities that draw a woman's gaze will tend to be those masculine qualities such as these: (as a disclaimer, I am not saying all women are attracted to all of these)

    1) strong physique (not just cut), but someone who looks like he can dominate.
    2) power
    3) leadership
    4) confidence

    All those kinds of qualities, the kind of person a leader of a group or a famous person might possess. There are some more neutral qualities as well like charisma, humor.

    It's hard for any one person to possess all of these qualities, but you can somewhat project some. For example, even if you are a wealthy and powerful person, if you shower a woman with attention and offer to do all kinds of things to her, that tends to change the perception of you towards kind of a kiss-ass low-ranking servant, far from a powerful man or a rock star. At least that's the kind of effect it seems to have.

    Likewise, even if you don't have much of a job but you have a group of friends who look up to you and follow you wherever you go, that gives off the impression of that leadership quality.

    You probably already have a lot of those endearing qualities, but I think you have to find an angle to kind of be seen by women instinctively as a potential mate.

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What Girls Said 28

  • All these things that your talking about: the type of job he has, if he's not fat, not a jerk, tall, big, good looking is in fact not the core reasons for a woman to be attracted to him. Women who goes for guys because of these things a very IMMATURE. It usually means they want what they can get out of you, and if you plan on settling down by getting married and having children with them, it will cause trouble and make the couple miserable. While for a lot of women, it does make him attractive: FOR THEIR POCKETS!

    It is not about the kind of job he have or wither or not a woman is attracted to him because of his looks. I rather stand clear from guys like that all because of physical attraction and materialistic things. All the things you said about is NOT a Priority! It is NOT all about finding a guy they are physically attracted to (tall, muscular, handsome etc) and who they can have fun and share a laughter with. That right there is a Lie they're selling you because they are personally selfish. They rather emotionally drain you of your energy then build with you even if you have nothing to financially offer at the moment. And it's isn't about judging, so don't ever feel like that. The truth is the truth. People are selfish. The real question is are you ATTRACTED to that kind of woman? Yes or no.

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  • I would recommend choosing a career path that makes YOU happy because after all, you'll be the one working in that field whether a woman is attracted to you or not. A stable career, yes. That's always a plus if a woman someday wants a family. But not every woman judges a man based on his career choice. I am an example of that as I will be the one going to medical school, and my boyfriend is between jobs until he lands one doing what he loves. I knew that from beginning, and it didn't change my attraction to him. I support what makes him happy as long as he too has a career if he ends up being the man whom I marry and spend the rest of my life with. But if a woman is so shallow as to completely write you off because she doesn't like your career choice, then it's her own loss. I wouldn't worry too much about it though. Do what makes YOU happy. 😃

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    • What matters more to you though, a guys looks or his job. Would you rather date a physically unattractive doctor or a tall, muscular, handsome low blue collar worker?

    • What one person finds "attractive" isn't necessarily what I find attractive. There's more to capturing my attention than just one's physical appearance. I've dated a variety of guys. My ex-boyfriend was a police officer, and I was making more money than him working in the fast food industry. It's not all about the "looks" when it comes to a good woman choosing someone she wants to be with. Some girls, yes. But again, that's a girl and not a woman. Big difference there. Personality plays a huge role in whether or not I find one attractive.

  • I am not all that into guys in general, but based on my own father's failure with dating I would have to say yes. If he was a doctor, he'd probably have a wife already, but he is a medical courier, which does not seem to attract any women. Though, honestly, if a woman cares that much about a man's job she's probably a little too superficial.

    However, if I were to date a guy, all I would care about job wise is that he actually had a job of some sort, and was a hard worker even if he didn't enjoy his job. If he didn't enjoy it, I'd probably encourage him to follow whatever dream he has, even it his dream job would make him less money for the most part, or be a risk.

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  • A good job will definitely boost a guy up several points. That doesn't make a woman a gold digger, it makes her fucking smart. There are too many struggling ass single mothers out here for me to believe that taking a man's income into the situation is ever a bad thing. That doesn't mean that a great job will erase every flaw a guy has, but it certainly is attractive

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  • Yes though I've been attracted to guys without college degree level jobs. It's more about financial stability. I'm not worried about about much money he makes so I can spend it myself, I'm concerned with his ability to pay in a share of the mortgage or any future kids college education. Can he make the car payment? Rent? Are we going to have electricity and internet? Those are types of things that women consider when choosing a guy.

    I noticed a lot of GaG men seem to think women want a guy with money for selfish reasons, but really we're thinking about a long-term future. No woman in her right mind wants to struggle trying to make ends meet especially if kids are expected to be thrown into the equation down the line. My income alone can't sustain a family of 4. I would want a partner that can carry some of the financial burdens as well so we can live comfortably together. It doesn't have to be large and luxurious as long as we're happy.

    So therefore a guy who has or is at least on his way to a solid money-making career is more attractive to women in that sense.

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  • Yes and no. It does factor in but it's not a deal breaker. I've dated a fair few older blokes and it's a sign that he's got something going for him if he's got a decent job or a good position in work but it's not the most important thing. It shows he's been doing something with his life, if he isn't married with kids, his career tends to be what he put his time and effort into. But I'm attracted to a good interesting and funny personality. Looks don't really bother me so much and a job is just a sign he has goals or something he's working on which is good but not super important.

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  • Don't know where you heard that stereotype. You make women sound like full time hubby hunters. Most women these days have their own education and careers and seek spouses that are friends with shared interests first and foremost. As long as you are economically stable and supportive of her career, you're golden.

    Don't ever pick ANYTHING based on the potential dating aspects you get with it. Not a job or car or home. Life doesn't work that way unless you are seeking out a woman, one of the few but they exist, that are modern day mistresses, selling their selves for your money and financial stability. If you want to be used for that, focus on material things and you will attract that woman. Otherwise try to be happy and fulfilled in your career doing something you like and you'll attract a woman with similar interests who enjoys spending time with someone who is happy in their life and you'll be set^^

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  • I like a guy that has a passion for his job, but that's pretty much as far as that goes. A doctor can still be a jerk and treat you like crap. I personally would prefer a guy who I get along with and have a lot of similarities to.

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  • I've never really taken an attractive guys job into consideration. If I like him for who he is, I don't really care. So what if were not rolling in it, we could find a way to make it work. I'm 24 and always in and out of contract jobs in between long and monotonous periods of being on the dole. Would you find me less attractive for that reason?

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  • It's not about his job as much as his ability to take care of a future family.

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  • Throw ALL of that away! Not all women are like that! For example, when I was 21, I was still attracted to the "bad boy" loser type. Now I'm attracted to men who are driven & excited about what they do. I could care less if a guy is a doctor, lawyer, etc. As long as he's not a couch potato & is doing something productive with his life that he's passionate about. That's sexy!

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    • Not all woman are lik that. Do you mean not all woman care about looks, height, handsome face, muscles. Because priotizing those qualities are just as shallow as what a gold digger does

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    • I am not judging I am saying its not any better than wanting a guy for his money. Gold-diggers are always looked at with disgust, but if a girl judges a guy by his looks she just as shallow. Either we need to stop frowning upon one, or look at both with equal disgust, they're the same

    • I am shallow too, I judge by looks, I am not ashamed of admitting by it. All I am saying its that lets not think what you and I do is any less shallow then what gold-diggers do. There are good looking guys out there (not me) that use their physical appearance to their advantage when attracting woman who go by looks. Then there are guys out there with success (me, hopefully, after I finish med school) who look to use their success to attract woman who seek. Both need to play to their strength. Its really unfair and stupid to claim that the good looking one will find a genuine woman whereas the ugly succesful one, using his success to his advantage, will find a fake girl.

  • Hey personally I'd go builder type over professional office or doctor type anyday xx

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  • Yes. But it's not everything.

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  • I think what is most attractive isn't the job itself, but more if a guy is passionate about working hard - whatever it is that he does - and takes pride in his work.

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  • no, this is silly

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  • It can. Like if the guy is not working something like at the movies as a popcorn guy then that can mean that he is responsible and has courage to follow his dreams (that's attractive to me very much :) ). But to take a more cynical route, it can also be because of how much money he makes.

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  • Hell yes, but he doesn't necessarily have to have that high paying job right off the bat... as long as he has a dream and means to accomplish it like getting a degree or an internship or something... he could be flipping burgers and still be sexy, not because of the job, it's because of the drive, how he caries himself... a beautiful mind, but don't be an asswhole and you'all be fine.

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  • Yes a job makes everyone look attractive duh cuz they got the mulla lolll

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  • Um not to me

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  • don't end up with a gold digger please do not

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    • Because a girl who dates guys based on looks is so much better right?

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    • both of the girls your describing seem equally shallow.

    • Indeed they are, I'd rather a girl want me for my personality and nothing else. But if I absoluetly had to choose betweeen a gold-digger and a girl that goes by looks I would be stuck with the gold-digger as I dont have much to offer in the looks department or height for that matter. But yea they are both equally shallow in my opinion

  • yes.

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  • Yesss

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  • Bs. My lawyer brother was in uni at those ages and when women asked what he's studying they were all over him... prospects. My guy friends who studied things like medicine, law, finance etc, same with them. On nights out, when girls heard what they were studying, the girls loved it.

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  • This is just a theory of mine, but I think that it goes back to humans trying their best to find the mate that will provide best for the family. Now that has changed with society and our cultures from the people who could hunt or gather the best, to those who are intellectually gifted enough and determined enough to earn those top paying positions. Now, I am not saying that people should only marry for money, but it does play a role, unfortunately. By the time that people are in their late twenties, they are looking to settle down with the person who can contribute the best to the household for the rest of their lives.

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  • Not the job itself but that he has one. It shows that he is taking initiative, acting responsible and stable. If he's happy wit h his career, the better! If not, then props for doing it anyways to support himself.

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  • Honestly for me, i don't judge guys on how much money they have or their careers. I met my current boyfriend when he was unemployed, because he had a good heart and that's what mattered to me. He got a job recently and is earning more than me. While other girls might look for superficial things like status and whatever, its not me and i look at whats in the guys heart first

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  • Not really in the way you mean. The same kinds of gals will be around the same kinds of guys, mostly. It's more that people who don't have their lives together sort of implode by that time. But they still date each other.

    Also, if you want women to date you who don't find you physically attractive or enjoy your company... You're doing it wrong.

    Most of the time, decent guys end up with the kind of girl they could've been dating all along, if he'd have figured it out. If you're really wealthy, you can probably score up a few notches with a gold digger, but that has its own risks.

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  • some don't care.
    i was raise to work hard and to be successful. so i feel my partner should also have the ambition to do well, have a decent job if i were to have a family and a future to settle down. it takes some of the financial burden away from the relationship as well as knowing both partners have similar goal to make life better.
    now that i am no longer in that stage, my partners income is not as important as before. he has to keep a decent job with decent life skill and backgroud value.
    maybe i will be single forever...

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What Guys Said 13

  • In college, most women are not looking for husband material, so different standards apply. I think most women want a man who is competent, confident, and successful (what woman would want a guy who's a failure?) They want other things in a guy, but those three things are important. Being established in a career is an indicator of those qualities.

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  • From experience and seeing others at early 30's. The answer is 100% yes for the majority of women whether they admit it or not. But more so I think its just having a passion and not being lazy thats even more important. Lots of girls might not like dating a doctor because he's not available most of the times. So it depends.

    Its more about displaying your love for life and getting out there and doing something about it thats more attractive rather than your status. Sexy mechanic will probably still win over average looking doctor. Looks still always dominate

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  • "But later down the road when woman are in their late 20s or so they will be looking to settle down in which case a guy's job and career should be prioritized right?"

    No.

    "You know the stereotype that woman only pursue the top 20% of men, does this mean that if a guy at that point a doctor or lawyer etc he'll automatically be upgraded to the top 20% assuming he's not an asshole and not a fat slob?"

    No.

    "That is the mere fact that he's a doctor makes him top 20% guy just as the mere fact that a guy is tall, big, muscular, good looking makes him a top 20% in his early 20s? "

    No.

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  • Well it certainly helps make you look better... not necessarily in terms of money but rather that it shows you're driven, mature and responsible.

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  • I might swing around my career a bit in dating. I might be guilty of that a little bit

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  • I guess so, if you fit all the other prereqs that girls have. I have a great job and personality, but no success because I don't fit the physical profile while guys I know that are working for minimum wage still gets laid all the time because they are tall and handsome.

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  • There is a tendency for girls in general to go after older guys which would place a greater proportion of guys past college and probably already with a job.

    Perhaps jobs are more important than age.

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  • It can make you seem more attractive, but if the girl wasn't already attracted to you it's probably not going to help.

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  • Possibly. I'm not making money anytime soon, I plan to when I get my master's degree.

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  • Of course they do, no girl wants to still be riding the bus with her boyfriend at age 30

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  • I read a lot of the comments here and learned a lot wow! All the women have a lot to say about this!

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  • lmao "not an asshole and not a fat slob"

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  • It depends if he is looking for gold diggers or not.

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    • Yea sure when girls my age want handsome guy thats perfectly fine.
      But when woman who look to settle down want a guy who's financially well of so she doesn't have to worry about bills, mortages, cost of raising children etc then she's a golddigger

    • Let me just butt in for a sec.
      @Asker, if this girl who has a great career, doing really well financially, very responsible and has her life put together is looking to settle down but wants to be with someone of the same caliber or more, does that still make her a gold digger?

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