My best friend is in love with my girlfriend, help?

Me and my girlfriend were both very close friends with someone who I'll call mike (using a fake name). However, things have gotten really bad recently, as it's become more and more obvious that mike is in love with my girlfriend. We used to all go out together, and he'd put up with me and my girlfriend flirting and sometimes make jokes out of it. However, recently he doesn't want us to go anywhere without him, and he's always trying to separate us. He always insists on being between us wherever we are, and he's repeatedly tried to flirt with my girlfriend by doing the following: Holding her hand, putting his arm around her and things similar to this. Normally, I'd beat the shit out of whoever is doing this, but he's been one of my best friends for years, as well as my girlfriends. I've talked to my girlfriend about it, and she agreed with me that he must be into her. She's assured me she has no feelings for him, which I believe, but she doesn't want to do anything about the endless flirting, since complaining will probably upset him. It's torturous for me however, since my time spent with my girlfriend is spent more on my phone while the two of them talk and make jokes and it sucks. I don't think she understands how drastic this situation is for me, since from her perspective she's just talking to her friend who has feelings for her. Help?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • He has absolutely crossed a line and I'm stunned your girlfriend isn't more upset about him touching her. Even if he isn't threatening, it should still be a major boundary infraction for both of you. First, I would stop inviting him placed unless you're in a group setting with other friends. See if he takes a hint and backs off after some time and space. Second, I would have a stern talk with him about how he is being disrespectful to you and your relationship. A real friend would not do these things. I know that must be painful to hear, but he should have never put you in this position. He apparently values having a shot with your girlfriend more than he values you.

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    • Ugch, the truth hurts sometimes, but I need to hear it. Thanks.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You screwed up dude. Lessoned learned. Never let other dudes hang with you and your girl. Period. I would set your boundary and if she crosses it, you breaking off. If he dates her. Beat his ass good. He deserves it for interfering in your relationshipZ that's crossing the line big time.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Ask him not to touch her intimately like that. As a friend, he should understand.

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  • BEAT HIS ASS!

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  • that's why I keep my friends away from my boyfriend😖

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What Guys Said 3

  • I think your "friend" might eventually steal her from you. Heck, he and your girlfriend could have secretly fooled around or even slept together by now behind your back. Not sayin' that it absolutely had happened, but it might be possible, as to why your girlfriend is still allowing him to flirt with her and wants his company instead of letting him clearly know that you and her are in an exclusive realtionship together. Looks like you have something like a love triangle situation here and it won't be easy since you don't want to end a friendship with your best friend.

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    • I trust her enough to believe she wouldn't do anything like that, but I think the main reason she allows it to continue is because he gets mad very easily, and setting tough boundaries might anger him (which my girlfriend doesn't want)

  • It doesn't sound like he has your best interests in mind. Based on that, I question how good your relationship is.

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  • This is an unlucky predicament.

    You — or better your girlfriend — should tell to your friend that you have noticed the ongoings, understand him, but everything will obviously get worse if nothing changes. And so it's good you 2 and him don't go out together for, say, 6 months or 1 years.

    He'll have fallen in love for someone else then, hopefully. (But if I were you, I'd wonder about her not being annoyed by physical contact with him.)

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    • The thing is, I doubt my girlfriend would just be okay with me forcing her to lose contact with one of her best friends...

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