Why do I get attached so easily? How can I make it stop, is anyone else like this as well?

i get attached to people so easily and so fast, I've been talking to this guy for a little, not long at all maybe 3 or 2 weeks and today he didn't answer my message, he probably will later but I keep thinking about it, it's not just him I just get attached to anyone so fast, and it's insane, especially if I talk to someone everyday! Is this normal? How can I make it stop? And is anyone else like this?

Updates:
Like I wish I could be one of those girls who didn't care, and could play hard to get but I can't, and I feel like if I text them I'd come off as needy, soooo this sucks.
I honestly feel bad for the people I get attached to lmao

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hi.. Yeah I think is normal for some people. I am like you.. I also can also get attached easily to someone.

    Now, after given my situation much thought. No we do not get attached because we do not have other things to do or because we are desperate etc. I think it involves your way of thinking about social relationships. For example, many people can hook up and do not get attached to the other person, they do it ALL the time so it is normal. But for some other people, hooking up with someone, texting many hours a day another person, is not consider "whatever". It represents something because you only do it with people you care (to some extent). How can you make it stop? I think that by doing more of something you will give it less importance. So in your case it would be to text many other guys to not get attached, or hook up with other girls/guys for other cases so that one in particular does not mean anything. However, I think it is better to accept the way you are, embrace it and be around people and have a relationship with someone who is in your same page...

    I hope that makes any kind of sense..

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    • yeah you're right, I know I'm trying haha I have texted so many other guys but I always forget to reply to them , because you're right I only text people I actually WANT to talk to, but yeah I know I'm trying it just sucks because when we get attached we overthink things & sometimes it makes me sad you know

    • Yeah I know.. it sucks. But at the end of the day if they are interested in you, he/she will text you back, if not, no big deal.. we will live I promise. I am sure you are an awesome person so as long as you do not have regrets and you are vulnerable and honest to others and yourself you will be fine :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't worry I'm like this too and it's something one can't stop... It just means that we are caring people and we build trust and bonding with that person right away... There are just some people that can touch someone's life especially if it's everyday talking to them... You build a connection that's hard to explain... I remember talking to this guy everyday and I got so attached that when he suddenly stopped replying I thought I did something wrong... It's not always us that are wrong but it's them... It really sucks not having someone you would talk to everyday it kinda feels as if something is missing , something changed , everyday is different... People come and go just so you know... Those who stay since the beginning must be appreciated and not taken for granted

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    • you're right): it's just super hard you know

What Guys Said 12

  • Well you need to know that you probably are SHOWING to them that you are easy... you need to find ways to keep your feelings not too loose because it turns people off whether they are jerks or nice...

    being overly attached too soon can be creepy even if you are cute..

    i would suggest hanging out with friends more, and doing more activities that keep you busy... like COMMITMENTS, not fun activities... otherwise you'll just be distracted.

    I can relate so I am speaking from outsider view for once,.

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    • so I shouldn't like text first sometimes? Should I ignore him sometimes? And should I not double snap chat him (if he ignores the first one)

    • yeah im not saying play games with his him exactly but dont reply the very next minute. its okay to wait a half hour even to reply. you dont even have to read it, you're young... and if you respect yourself it will be more attractive than offering yourself.

    • yeah I know, I usually reply later but sometimes if he doesn't answer, I snapchat him again, and if I don't answer his snapchat he sends one again like 30mins later, he seems interested and stuff but he hasn't even asked for my number yet, should I give him it?

  • being attached means you need something from that other person and develop expectations of how they will reciprocate. Girls do tend to bond as they get a bonding chemical in relationship (oxytocin), it appears more strong than most guys. Maybe some people just get more of that.

    Are there any abandonment issues in your childhood? That may accentuate it.

    If you can settle in your own mind that you are ok on your own, without that person, if you have God in your mind and heart, so you don't feel lonely, that help and is a way to avoid the feeling of loss or anxiety related to waiting.

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  • i like clingy brawds. sup

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  • Caring and loving people get attached easily. Which will make you a great partner to someone.

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  • Me too I was friends with a girl she had sex with me then let me hold her and kissed my lips and right there I couldn't bear to be away from her for even two minutes.

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  • I soooo understand that pain
    *hug*
    The more experice D you become the easier it will be to resist
    At Least for me

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  • Your seeking the love that you never got as a kid. The acceptance. My recommendation is that you learn to love yourself. Then everything falls into place.

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  • haha, female problems

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  • you have a co dependency problem. try working on yourself first

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  • get help soon

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  • Yeah, me too. It's such a bastard at times.

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What Girls Said 12

  • I get easily attached, it sucks. I wish I could turn it off. I mean I'm grateful that I can care about people and love them. But it hurts me so much when it's not reciprocated or the person leaves. It makes life hard and it makes me sad. I do my best to try and move on but it's still tough.

    The only thing you can do is trust that everything will work out for the best. You may not get who you thought you wanted but by the time that happens you may realize that who you wanted wasn't who you needed.

    There have been a few guys over the years who I really liked and hoped that I would be with. But looking back on them now I am glad I am not with those guys. They weren't good matches for me.

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  • I used to be like that but then I met my current boyfriend and it was just so simple and easy that being needy and clingy was just not a concern. He never left me hanging and never left me wondering where I stood and when I'd see him again. I think when you meet the right guy you just feel so secure in your own skin that there's no room for over attachment and fear of losing them. I would go on a first date with a guy and practically fall in love that night, regardless of how compatible we were or how terrible of a person they actually were. I met my now boyfriend and things were just different, I didn't do anything or try anything different it just happened on its own. I think subconsciously I lowered my expectations and raised my standards.

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  • I'm like this. Only with guys really though. I think my attachment comes from wanting someone to think about me as much as I think about them. I want to feel wanted and special. I've gotten better over the last couple years because I made myself realize I don't need someone else to feel special.

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    • yeah I feel like that's how I am.

  • No, it's not fun to not get attached either. I go through guy after guy and feel nothing. And then eventually I find one I really end up liking and I act crazy because I know if I lose him it'll be a long time before I get to feel that again.

    At least you know if a relationship fails, it's easy for you to find someone new who makes you feel just as good.

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  • im exactly the same and I hate it, its something we can't help doing and honestly there's no way to stop it trust me I've tried, and yes its completely normal

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  • I don't know if it's normal but I'm the exact same way. I start to care too much and no one feels like same way

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  • That makes you human. I get attached too :/ I miss them when I don't see them.

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  • me lol. girl i be feeling psycho :( clingy girl probs.

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    • ohmygod yes I feel ya on that one, like we're not even dating, why am I attached? That'd be weird to someone else😂😂

  • 1) keep ur options open. you'll be able to choose the best guy and not the only guy that's texting u atm.
    2) take him for who he is. NOT for who u WANT him to be. Are u getting attached because you guys got to know each other, have mutual feelings for each other & u guys connect on a great level? OR are u getting attached because "well we talk often. he's not my type but it's better than having no one to talk to. Yeah I know he flirts with everybody & I hate that but it makes me feel good when he flirts with me. Plus I've been single for too long. I really want a boyfriend now & if he wants to be my boyfriend then hey so be it." (Just an example)
    3) Have a life outside of him. Your life doesn't revolve around him. Don't cancel plans or postpone plans because of him. Stop worrying if he takes an hour to response. He is most likely just busy.
    4) Have a backbone. Dont accept disrespectful behavior because you're "attached". Get off cloud nine and know when to stand up for yourself.

    I'm not saying all this applies to you but in general this may happens with attachment.

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    • yeah that's understandable.

  • Do you have friends and family? You might be getting attached because you're lonely?

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    • I have a lot of friends and family, a lot!

  • Yes, I'm exactly the same. If I'm into someone, I get attached pretty quickly. I try to hide it so it doesn't scare them off, but I've never found a good way to make myself stop. If I don't get attached, I just end up dumping them.

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  • No, I am the opposite of it. I care about people, but I don't get easily attached.

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