Moral dilemma do I tell my ex I've got a date or not?

So I broke up with my ex a few months ago was in complete no contact until a few weeks ago when we were friendly/flirty texting saw him in the same bar we were both drunk one thing led to another we had sex (big mistake I know). Since then we've been on and off texting, in the meantime since then I've been asked out on a date- I'm not back together with my ex and I really doubt we will get back together but I'm a bit confused with his hot and cold behaviour and he he's already cancelled plans 3 time with me since we broke up (before sex or date offer) and we have been texting a bit.

Now do I tell my ex I'm going on a date or not, like if he asks what I'm up to do I say? And I feel bad I don't want to be cruel to my potential date either but at the end of the day I am single.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Note that this is assuming you are the one who broke up with your ex.

    I really think the least painful route for everyone is to blow off your ex if you have no plans of getting back together. Don't make him your friend with whom you share your whole life. You make it near impossible for him to move on.

    Hot and cold erratic behavior usually indicates eternal conflict. A common one is that one side of him wants to forget about you so that he can move on, another is that he misses you terribly.

    If he inquires about what's going on with you, you could just say you have plans. It's none of his business. Better if you can find a way to cease communication with him, letting him properly get over you.

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    • Hot and cold erratic behavior usually indicates eternal [/internal] conflict.

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    • Oh, that's a different and much more difficult dynamic. I really thought you had absolutely no intent of being back together with your ex, didn't realize you still have feelings for him.

      Argh! Big dilemma.

      In that case, maybe you could tell him about it and see how he reacts. But be gentle, don't try to do it to play games or make him jealous or anything like that, more to really find out his thoughts.

    • It is I think I'm just going to leave dating anyone at the minute.. Thanks for your advice!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell him the truth.

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What Guys Said 2

  • If your this conscious about it you could ask your new guy if its okay to wait to publically announce your boyfriend and girlfriend. As you could point out that it would hurt your dignity to see your ex fall into deper dispair or end up diss liking you. Also just explain its only until he seems to be able to think level headed again. That means the romantic stuff can continue but the public announcement can wait.

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    • Woah I haven't got a new boyfriend just going on a date! But thanks for the advice

  • Cut off all contact once again and live your life and date.

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What Girls Said 0

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