Girls, if a guy can't protect you would you think he's useless?

Be honest please.


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26

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well I wouldn't see him as useless, because maybe he's good at other things. However I don't think I PERSONALLY would want to be in a relationship with someone that didn't make me feel "safe". I know it's super traditional of me, but I'm a pretty small young woman, and like for example just the other day at work I had a customer who was just being a little too "friendly" and even a little "Handsy" and so my male supervisor (whose an at LEAST 6 foot tall mid twenties sort of guy) came over right away and stood there, asked if everything was okay, and then stayed with me throughout the rest of the time the handsy customer was there. The handsy man stopped immediately, but just having that particular supervisor there I felt a lot safer and more comfortable. Where as had it been a guy whose not really equipped to help if need be were there, I kind of think I would of been screwed.

    My point is, is that even if I don't NEED the protection, I feel a lot better knowing that I have someone who can at least HELP if it's needed. If that makes sense.

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    • Yeah, I get it. Makes sense

What Girls Said 25

  • Protect me? No, of course not. I would never want him to be put in a dangerous situation because of me. What I do expect is for him to support me and stand up for me. I also expect that of myself. Standing up for each other and supporting the other--sometimes even if we don't always understand why--is very important. I want us to have the other's backs.

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    • I like that. That's a good mentality.

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    • That's the right attitude. You're worth being loved and treasured no matter what you can or can't do. The right girl will definitely feel that way, and those who don't are not worth fighting for to start with.

    • Thank you. Talking to you made me feel a little better. You deserve a good guy yourself.

  • Well if a woman can't reproduce, is she useless? By an evolutionary standpoint-yes. But do you still love her? You have to fight against your biological behaviors that were wired in your brain to do so.
    So yeah, it depends on the girl. Some like to stick up for themselves. Women are wired to feel protected and look for masculinity and men are wired to look for women that can reproduce (be a healthy weight and look hygienic) and can also care for a child. It's just... science.

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    • I'll give you that can't deny science. So in your personal preference how protective do you like guys to be with you?

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    • Nice. I guess I'm one of the cool guys.

    • Yep that's how the math works!

  • Yeah, it kinda is.

    I know martial arts so I can defend myself if it really comes to that but I can't ever picture myself being with a coward like that. Cowards are just.. yuck.

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    • If you can, how would you describe a protective man?

    • Someone with actual civil courage so they wouldn't just help me because I'm their girlfriend but because they would help any other person just the same. Meaning they step in whenever they see someone who's in trouble, within reason obviously - if the perpetrator was holding a gun and you were to take them on with only your fists that would just be stupid.

    • I respect that.

  • Honestly every now and than I give myself that question :D hehehehe came to the conclusion that man that can protect me are more appealing for me but if I met a guy and like him and he would not be able to protect me well... to hell with it, if he can run than we're good, when we'll get in trouble then it will be... RUN FOREST RUUUN ! (and laugh afterwords )

    38.media.tumblr.com/.../...7g878K1rr13fko1_500.gif

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    • I can run fast, but I rather fight, but I don't want to get my ass kicked and then get dumped.

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    • I get what Your saying and I agree but if I think about a guy a like and him getting injured in the fight I just can't see anything worth that. Why anyone want they're SO to be hurt... that's crazy.
      With me there are just too options! 1. We run from the trouble and laugh afterwords 2. I'll let him fight but if the fight gets bad I'm going in... ooh hell I'm going in anyway! I'll get almost killed but we're going down together.
      message me and tell me about it !

    • It's crazy but I'll tell you everything you need to know. I'll message you.

  • If it's something where I *need* him to, then yes.

    Otherwise, I'm able to take care of myself.

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    • In what cases would you need him to?

    • If it were a man who were bigger than myself who was trying to get physical. Or was just touching me in appropriately, etc.

    • What if that guy kicks your man's ass?

  • Protectiveness to me is someone who stands by me and will protect me when I am confronted with REAL danger. I don't need him to always stand up for me because guys get into fights a lot quicker and I don't want drama around me. It's little things that matter, walking me home at night, making sure I'm safe. To answer your question, no he wouldn't be useless. You hardly need anyone to protect you nowadays. But he has to have that protectiveness in him. That's a must. It can be just looking out for you. Just standing next to her to show others that you are there. Little things.

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  • I believe in equality in a relationship therefore we should protect each other.

    But if a situation arose where he was to protect to me and he didn't, then I would think he is useless.

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    • I agree, but can you give me an example or so of a situation where you need him?

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    • That makes sense. I'd like a girl to stick up for me if someone was bothering me, I don't expect it but I'd like it.

    • Like I said I believe in equality, and I would stick up for my guy if the situation arose.

  • No, we have to learn to protect ourselves if a guy I know or a stranger say me indetress and they helped out I'd be very thankful. But if they ran away and didn't even bring police back and we're just gone I'd be upset. Like there are so many ways to help people without you getting hurt

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    • I get what your saying. I believe both people should look out for each other.

  • Protect me if another guy slaps my ass? Sure, I'd like it if he knew how to stand up for me. But I think I could stand up for myself. but protecting me would be nice too.

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  • I need no protecting. I can take care of myself. I did a few years of judo & kickboxing classes. Yikes.

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    • Nice I like women like that.

  • No, I would not.

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  • If he won't even try then he is, I'd protect him, too.

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  • No lol, and protect me from what exactly? I'm not with someone just so they can "protect" me.

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    • Like some guy harassing you in public or something.

    • I mean, I don't want him to fight everyone off me, but defending me is a quality.

    • I heard some women say that if they feel their man can't protect them he's useless. So I asked this question to see if anyone really feels that way.

  • if he didn't even try ... yessssss he would be useless to me

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    • I understand. Can you provide an example if you don't mind?

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    • difference is tht some want to be protected and if you fail to keep them safe they will think of you as unworthy

      other such as myself just want a guy to try to protect me doesn't matter if he fails at it as long as he gave it his all

    • I try as to stay away from the first type but I have no problem with the other type. The one you described yourself as.

  • Am I living in the purge or something? What do I need to be protected from?

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    • From bad people.

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    • That's irrelevant to this discussion.

    • Yeah. But you said you live in a really safe country so I'm curious to know what it is. If you don't want to tell me that's fine.

  • Of course I do...(I need a hero and a zero) lol

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    • Uh.. ok haha. So you want a guy who's both?

    • -.- da came out wrong it was supposed to be (hero not zero) =p..-.- "da fucked up moment when your trying to have a conversation with someone and auto correct joins in out of the blue" lol

    • Oh ok lol. So what is a protective guy to you?

  • honestly, I would be sad, : D I would want him to protective.

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    • Does he have to know how to beat someone's ass?

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    • just dating, It would a turn off, or I would be put off by it or feel embarrassed for him ( not by him)

    • I understand. It sucks but... I can't say I blame you.

  • Of course he's not useless. He's still a human being.

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    • Your right, but I can explain otherwise if you want.

    • Go ahead.

    • Well, biologically women are attracted to men who protect them. It's in your primitive brain. Remember how you learned back in the caveman days and even further into the animal kingdom, the best protectors (fighters ) got to mate because they had a high survival rate. Now it's money, but money isn't primitive. In the primitive section of the female reptilian brain they will always crave a man who can protect them and I've seen/heard of guys getting dumped for getting their ass beat which I'm sure you must know about. I know it's modern day and we're constantly evolving but i don't think we evolved that much. This is just my honest perspective some things I said could be wrong, but it makes sense.

  • Yeah i would think that way. But the fact is i can protect myself :D

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    • If you can protect yourself why would you think he's useless? I mean if that's what your really saying.

    • I mean if i would be in a unguarded mood , i d think like this.

    • Eh, I think I get it.

  • Protect me from what?

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    • Mugger, criminal, guy harassing you, burglar etc.

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    • You can even defend yourself from grown men?

    • I don't know.
      ..

  • Protect in what way?

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    • Like... the most common one I hear is some guy harassing you at the club or bar, or just in public somewhere. Or even at home from his or your guy friends or something.

    • I would want my guy to at least make the effort to protect me...

    • Fair enough

  • I can somewhat defend myself, but who knows what the situation is. I don't want us to get hurt, so I'd rather him and I quickly leave the area before something does hurt.

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    • Smart. I like that. Escape if you can. But if you can't you'll just fight together right?

    • I would try my best. Or maybe he could quickly get help. By quick I mean like less than 2 minutes. Not sure how long I can keep a huge dude off of me or something.

  • useless to me yes of course
    but not like useless generally

    and why did this question give me serious deja vu? lol

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    • Why would he be useless. And I don't know, did someone ask this question already or something?

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    • lol my bad.. misunderstood lol

    • Ha. Yeah that's fine.

  • I'd want him to speak up for me if it was a life or death situation, and I would do the same for him. if he was getting beat up I'd jump in. You should do whatever you can for the ones that you love even if it means putting your ass on the line. In all honesty though, I'd want him to be willing to but really I rather him be quiet if it happened. I'd play hero if he was in trouble but if I was I rather take the beating and hope for the best then have him get involved. Double standerd I know. Just the idea of something happening to him makes me sick though.

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    • I understand I would definitely do that for the woman I care about. What really pisses me off are the girls who stand there watching the guy they supposedly care about get wrecked and then dump him for making a sacrifice.

    • Just be picky about who you attach yourself too. Don't get involved with someone with a big mouth (could mean pointless fights for you) or someone that you feel wouldn't do anything and everything for you as well. At least that's my opinion. Find someone who works for you.

    • Agreed. Thanks.

  • Well not if he tried but couldn't. If he didn't even try, I'd dump him. I mean, even I would try to protect him against a group of guys when I know realistically I'd get my ass beat.

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    • I think that's what most girls want but I'm struggling to admit it. I would feel extremely emasculated getting my ass kicked in front of a girl I was dating or just girls in general. But I'd fight 10 guys at once if I had too.

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    • Respect to you for growing realizing it's a tough world to live in. I like girls like you. I would always have that protective instinct in me to care after my woman. The thing is, some woman don't look out after their man and expect him to pull all the heavy way. I know men are physically stronger and all, but relationships are supposed to be teamwork. That's just how I look at it.

    • Some women don't look out for their man, and some men don't do anything for their woman.. It's just how it is. It's down to individuals to decide to reject those types and go for people who pull their weight in a relationship. I agree relationships should be 50/50, but these days, people always think doing something good for their partner means they're weak or something. The best advice I got about relationships was from my dad who said any relationship can work as long as both people learn to adjust and adapt to each other and not just look out for themselves, and my mum who said she should always put him first and he should always put her first and that way they're both priorities and neither will be unhappy.

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