Why do cute guys stare and don't approach or take along time to approach me?

So i think I'm ok looking but people I know and sometimes random people tell I'm beautiful/pretty. (Btw I'm not showing a pic) So I've never dated or kissed and I grew up in a conservative family and I was encouraged to ignore guys because they were immature (which is usually true). So I'm very shy but I can be bold and very funny someone's which was helpful to break the ice because some girls didn't like me for no reason. So now I'm making lots of new girl friends but I feel kinda lonely and I want a boyfriend. My parents said I was mature enough to date. Cute guys stare at me but they don't speak they just get close to me so I notice them and look at me. Sometimes guys ignore me and then I catch them checking me out. This really handsome guy (way out of my league) did that to me this week at a program and as soon as I caught him he would look away. But he never approached me. During that same time this unattractive guy kept chasing me and talking to me. But this very cute guy has been chasing me for years now and we had a deep conversation once but he just sits next to me and doesn't talk to me. I don't know what to do...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You know guys can be shy too. Not everyone knows how to talk to girls, that shit can be scary.

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    • Yeah the guy I see this week seemed pretty shy

Most Helpful Girl

  • Because he's shy, inexperienced and has fear of rejection. Unfortunately guys like that don't get far with me. I've had a few that just stared at me, followed me around, stood next to me and waited for me to initiate the conversation so that they don't have to. If a guy makes it that obvious that he likes me, I at least expect him to talk to me eventually. The last guy that did this waited two years to approach me. I walked away when he was on his way over to me, because i got fed up of his antics and moved on. My first load of crushes that I had when I was at secondary school never took me by the hand when I was too shy to talk to them. I learned the hard way and eventually came out of my shell. I've been approaching crushes since I was 17. They lead me on by flirting with me, only for me to discover that they already had girlfriends. I seem to be cursed with attracting guys that are already in relationships or guys that never have the balls to talk to me. So, my opinion is that its up to the person who has the crush to act on it first.

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    • Yeah lol that's funny my crush chased me for two years too. It was flattering but after awhile annoying and the he backed off and I started liking him again and he sensed it.. So maybe that's a possibility.
      But in general yeah they just stare and look away when I catch them or stare and smile.
      Well the people that I'm around are more conservative so approaching guys would be a little easy.. so I don't know if I would tell them but I could still speak to them

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    • A professional smile. If ya don't he might think you're just shy. It always worked for me. I guess you could call it a fake smile.

    • Thanks for mho

What Guys Said 14

  • Either be the "man" and initiate conversations with these guys you find interesting or wait for some other guys that are more mature and not scared to talk to a Fukin pretty girl. Kinda sad they are too insecure to talk to you-helps you to see if you find them mature enough or not for your liking (all depends on how you feel)
    best of luck 😊

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    • Well the guy that kept staring at me kept checking me out yesterday. I told my friends he was cute and they brought him over and we talked and he was bragging a lot and flexing his muscles. He looked me into my eyes a lot and stood so close to me I could smell his cologne. My heart was beating fast (I'm very shy) and he was making me blush so I wanted him to leave and I told him he could if he wanted to (since he hasn't asked for my number). He's 18 and I'm 16

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    • I agree if he does it too much. Initially I think it's kinda normal. And " I just wanted to say it was nice knowing you" doesn't sound like a douchebag.
      But anyway thanks for all the help and I'll try and use this advice in the future

    • Yeah np

  • the age old common question girls ask on here, and the age old common answer i tell them. guys are not the only ones who have to approach especially since most girls dont usually want them and most guys know it, and most guys are not going to approach, so the best thing a girl can do is approach and ask out the guy she wants cause its usually the girl who decides on who she wants when she wants anyways, guys usually dont have that luxury, guys are commonly rejected, girls usually dont get rejected because there physical beauty prevents rejection.

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    • So what your saying is that guys are incapable of deciding or pursuing the women they want? That's bullshit and you know it, women get rejected. I've had crushes who I've approached and got to know a little better, they lead me on by flirting with me, only for me to discover that they were already paired off. Guys have the luxury alright, its the ones that show interest in women and never act on it that over think it and over complicate it for themselves. A guy has to show me that he has more to offer than just good looks. Let's not forget those guys, that lead other girls on by flirting with them even when they are already in relationships. I suppose women can be just as bad. Most guys fuck it up for themselves and others.

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    • that was meant to read "no, not everyone agrees with me either."

  • They are teens. Give them a chance. Thats a new thing they are expierencing.

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  • If u are ALWAYS around with a group of friends, many guys will find that intimidating and won't approach you.

    in my opinion being clung to a group of girls at ALL times, is the biggest mistake that teenage and college age girls make! Break away from the pack and be alone sometimes.

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    • I am alone or with my parents sometimes

  • No guy is out of your league. There are no "leagues", there is only attraction and compatibility. A guy who finds you attractive is not thinking "I'm out of her league".

    Young guys find the prospect of asking girls out rather scary. They are afraid of rejection so they just sit and stare. Just invite him yourself.

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    • A lot of the guys that actually approach me are really confident younger guys and much older cute guys. The guys nearer my age usually don't approach me. I look older than I am

  • Just cos a guy looks in your direction.. does not mean he is interested in approaching, dating or making an effort. There are millions of girls around in every day life and I look at any attractive ones.

    A lot of the time it's not worth the effort so I just look and carry on with my day. I used to approach women back in the day and had great success and responses but I can't be bothered anymore.

    Ever heard the term 'the juice isn't worth the squeeze...''

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    • Lol that's true... I look at guys but I don't always wanna date the ones I look at

  • Just accept the guys who go after you, or flirt with the other guy. Other than that there's nothing you can do.

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    • True.. Maybe I could try smiling a little more because usually I'm stone faced

  • Why do pink anons complain about cute guys staring and not approaching?

    They probably aren't attracted to you.

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    • Some do approach me;some don't. It's the unpredictability that confuse me

    • Well they're all different. You can't stereotype cute guys.

    • Or maybe it's because I'm pretty but not a knockout so they think I'm cute but want someone more attractive

  • Approach them!

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    • Yeah the people I'm around are vey traditional so they find that kinda weird

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    • Nothing wrong with that approach when you're shy but you have to work on that (your shyness) because that's what's killing your chances. I'm betting he didn't ask for your number exactly for that reason, you left the conversation up to him (which is a lot of pressure and unfair) and he took that as not you being shy, but you not interested. So it sounds like he liked you enough for that, but because you were so quiet and shy, he took that as disinterest and therefore didn't bother asking for your number. That's what I would think anyway and probably most guys. We can be just as shy as women, think and wonder the same things so there needs to be effort on both sides. Women like to leave it all up to the guy which is extremely unfair in my opinion.

    • I totally agree that it's unfair. I just never had a boyfriend or had a guy I liked *a lot be so bold and attractive all at once. I felt very shy and scared tbh. I have no experience whatsoever. And he was two years older and super confident. So I didn't mean anything
      I find some guys can read through the shyness, one guy does that and he's been chasing me for two years. So not all guys are like that but he was just as shy as I was, just older and more good looking

  • Are cute guys not allowed to be shy and apprehensive?

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    • Well if he's cute he has no reason to be shy.

    • Bzzz, wrong assumption. A lot of the hottest celebrity guys are extremely shy and same goes for the women. They might be insecure about their personality or maybe they don't believe people when they tell them they're attractive.

    • Well i don't know any celebrities

  • why dont you approach them?

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    • I don't know I tried that yesterday and it didn't work.
      My friends knew I liked this guy. I caught him glancing at me and he was really hot, waay more attractive than me. so they called them over and he wss very confident and he was flexing his muscles and bragging. He was 18 and I'm 16. Even tho I felt really shy so my friend did a lot of the talking for me he acted normal but stood so close to me I could smell his cologne. so my friend left and i didn't know what to do so I told him that he didn't have to feel obligated to stay, he could go if he wanted to. He smiled and said "I just wanted to say it was nice knowing you. " I felt so flustered I didn't say anything and he left. Without getting my number
      So yeah, maybe I was rude but still he was pretty confusing

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    • stick to it, it will come. remember hard work will pay off in the end.

    • Lol ok. Next time I'll try talking to them and then seeing if they're attracted to me instead of my friends making it obvious. 🙊

  • Yeah. Guys outside of college are immature. During college, girls are more immature than guys.
    In fact. Girls in college vs ones that are not are pretty much on the same level.

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  • Ask him out its really simple lol. Oh by the way, lots of dudes don't seem to have balls anymore. But not to make this a racial thing it seems to affect white Guy's and more then hispanic or black guys. They seem to have a cock sure arrogance whereas shot loads of white dudes don't have confidence. Oh well, I guess it's natural selection working itself out. It's re guys that pursue who end up with the girl whereas the guys who don't lose out which is how mature intended it to be.

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    • The guys that usually are attracted to me are black and Hispanic guys. I'm black

  • No pics no care

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    • Whelp too bad. it doesn't benefit me or anybody else to lie about it. Why would I lie and get inaccurate answers.✋🏻

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    • No care

    • Then why did you reply to this question if you don't care?

What Girls Said 0

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