My older male cousin has been giving me advice in dating. He wants me to play extremely extremely hard to get. He has stated I am not normal attractive, but gorgeous, and I should have guys fighting for me.
I mean, sure, I have frequent pursuers, but when I'm interested in a guy... I like to show that interest so it doesn't fade or he thinks I'm not interested. Right now i met this guy online who is a quieter type, he seems really sweet tbh. But my friend told me he likes hard to get women. On the attractive scale, I know I am more attractive than he is.. But he is a smart guy, and I know it's not all just having a pretty face and body. I've been messaging him, very friendly and longer messages like he has with me. I was the one to say hello first. I don't know if I should take a step back and not respond to his last message at all? (My cousin told me I should ignore half the messages and respond to the other half to make him want and chase me more). We had been talking about his band, and he told me they play shows a lot. I wanted to respond that I've been to a few shows but haven't seen him and ask what his band name is, just to keep the convo going... but now my cousin says I need to ignore this message.
Why is dating this difficult? Is this necessary? Is being too eager a thing? Where is the line between being too eager and just the right amount?
Most Helpful Guy
This is something I'm not sure about. I mean, I have heard that guys like hard to get girls but I personally don't understand this mentality. If a girl was 'acting' hard to get, no matter how hot she was, I wouldn't pursue. I don't want a partner who thinks that they are above me. I want an equal.
Sure, some fun games and flirtation is all right but this 'acting' is a problem for me.2
Most Helpful Girl
No. At least, not in all cases. It doesn't have to feel like you're constantly playing a game. There are people who enjoy that, sure, but there are also people who prefer a more genuine approach. It all comes down to the individual.1