Guys:::: If a girl is too eager or interested in the beginning, is it a turn off? Does attractiveness play a role?

My older male cousin has been giving me advice in dating. He wants me to play extremely extremely hard to get. He has stated I am not normal attractive, but gorgeous, and I should have guys fighting for me.


I mean, sure, I have frequent pursuers, but when I'm interested in a guy... I like to show that interest so it doesn't fade or he thinks I'm not interested. Right now i met this guy online who is a quieter type, he seems really sweet tbh. But my friend told me he likes hard to get women. On the attractive scale, I know I am more attractive than he is.. But he is a smart guy, and I know it's not all just having a pretty face and body. I've been messaging him, very friendly and longer messages like he has with me. I was the one to say hello first. I don't know if I should take a step back and not respond to his last message at all? (My cousin told me I should ignore half the messages and respond to the other half to make him want and chase me more). We had been talking about his band, and he told me they play shows a lot. I wanted to respond that I've been to a few shows but haven't seen him and ask what his band name is, just to keep the convo going... but now my cousin says I need to ignore this message.

Why is dating this difficult? Is this necessary? Is being too eager a thing? Where is the line between being too eager and just the right amount?


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is something I'm not sure about. I mean, I have heard that guys like hard to get girls but I personally don't understand this mentality. If a girl was 'acting' hard to get, no matter how hot she was, I wouldn't pursue. I don't want a partner who thinks that they are above me. I want an equal.

    Sure, some fun games and flirtation is all right but this 'acting' is a problem for me.

    • Yeah I concur. I think balanced is the best I guess. Like with guys, if he wants to call me every day and is talking about how lucky he is to have met me after only knowing each other for a week... Sure, that is usually a red flag. And it'll probably fizzle faster than water in a hot pan. But I don't think showing interest is a turn off either.

      Would it be right to think if they think I'm too interested then they aren't for me?

    • I'd say it wouldn't be all that wrong. But yea, you have to know the difference between someone being genuinely really interested vs someone faking it and going out of their way to compliment you.

Most Helpful Girl

  • No. At least, not in all cases. It doesn't have to feel like you're constantly playing a game. There are people who enjoy that, sure, but there are also people who prefer a more genuine approach. It all comes down to the individual.


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What Guys Said 3

  • This question reminded me of that scene in "Hitch," where Will Smith says, "Dating is so damn hard because you can't walk up to someone and tell him or her that you really like him or her."

  • Don't play hard to get unless you are in high school maybe. Jesus where do you guys come up with this stuff lmao

  • attractiveness plays the biggest role obviously. i mean if she seems morbidly obsessive, it´s a turn off but otherwise it´s fine.


What Girls Said 0

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