"Just be yourself and women will like you." The worst dating advice ever offered?

As I am myself, and it never works.

  • Yes
    29% (5)61% (19)50% (24)Vote
  • No
    71% (12)39% (12)50% (24)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you put on a false facade to get a girl, she will soon pick up on the fact you aren't being yourself and will trust you less and you may lose the girl altogether. You want someone who loves you when you're being yourself, that's how you find life long love. If you found someone when you have a facade on, it's not easy to keep up that look forever. That's basically what people are saying.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Thing is, women want a man who just gets it. A natural.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEybK_CujtM
    If you have to have it explained... you're already failing. That's why you ask men for dating advice, not women. Women will tell you, in a way, what they instinctively want. Men will more often tell you things the same way they'd tell you how to get a job or change your oil or such--they will tell you what works for them and how to do it.

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    • I am seeing more and more of that on this site. If I hear another woman tell me to just be myself I might just loose it.

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    • Yea I'm naturally shy. That's probably why the advice sucks so much. Women for whatever reason view shyness, or anything less than total confidence, as something that turns their stomachs. Yet another thing they will never admit to when you ask them for advice. Charade with Cary Grant?

    • Yep. Shyness is not a good thing for a guy to have--confidence naturally turns women on. And yes. Charades with Cary Grant is a great movie for learning banter.

What Girls Said 5

  • It's only bad advice if something's actually wrong with you, to be blunt about it. We all have something odd about us, and sometimes our quirks drive people away. Like sometimes I joke around too much and annoy people. So I'm working on dialing it back. Try to look inwardly and find if there's anything you're doing or projecting that's a turn off to women. Maybe a close friend can help pinpoint the problem.

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  • Call me na├»ve but it's the BEST advice if you want a profound relationship, in my opinion. If girls can't compromise once you show your truest colors, it's their ultimate loss. With compromises come sacrifices.

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    • While this is true, when you tell that to a guy who is late in his life and never managed a girlfriend, it can really fail to point out to him why he's not attracting females.

      Imagine a fat ubernerd who loves dressing up like peter pan and has a fashion sense that loves to match green t-shirts with red thigh-high tight shorts. He's so confident and has so few insecurities that he likes to just walk into the middle of groups of people having a conversation and interrupt.

      This guy's not going to be helped by continuing to "be himself". What a lot of "nice guys" and desperate guys out there often fail to realize is that they need to become attractive, that women are just as drawn to men for attractive qualities as men are to women.

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    • @JohnDoe3000 In the same way I don't love my wife of 8 years because she looks stunning in a dress, but I probably never would have dated her if she didn't have that quality when we first started dating. I love much more endearing qualities about her now like the fact that she has passion and ambition and a gentle and sweet personality, but definitely her looks helped me in the beginning.

    • @JohnDoe3000

      Or you just move your ass and realise that dating is a numbers game. If you are quite a unique a personality you obviously need to put in more time and effort to find someone who is comparable to your uniqueness. Simple as that.

  • It only doesn't work if you're a shitty person to begin with lol

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  • Be yourself doesn't mean be inflexible. Be yourself is a dynamic thing. At heart, you have your values, your interests, your quirks. Those are what should always stay the same unless you genuinely feel differently. You should look into changing what you think may help you. Like, work on your flaws or go out more to settings where couples meet more. You want to be yourself but also make yourself the best version of yourself you can be.

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  • well if you re a bitter dick of course they won t like you

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What Guys Said 16

  • Well if you are yourself and the girl doesn't like you then you two were not meant for eachother/a good couple.

    You never want to be someone else and not yourself period not only when dating. Those idiots date someone and lie about everything
    (For example: she says "I love ____" he says "😱OMG I love ____ too!!!" When he really doesn't he just wants to seem like they both have things in common)

    If you can't seem to get any chick to date you than it may not be who you are trying to date but your behavior/characteristics and stuff. Maybe you are too immature, arrogant, annoying etc. (not saying you actually are) Just be yourself, do what you like to do, talk about things you are interested in, and find someone that likes you for who you are.
    Best of luck man! 😎

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  • To me "just be yourself" and "just be confident" can be horrible advice to guys who really don't get any.

    It's something a lot of those obnoxious "nice guys" understand intimately when a girl tells them, "Aww, you're going to make a great boyfriend to a lucky girl out there", only to then say "bye" and chase after guys with totally different qualities.

    If you want to step up your game, you have to "be attractive". That's all there is to it. Just being yourself and being confident isn't necessarily going to do that. Some guys need a little bit more of a boost to catch female attention in the same way some women need cosmetics to catch male attention.

    Confidence can almost always boost your sex appeal, but not necessarily enough to start having girls become attracted to you.

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    • For example, imagine a guy just "being himself" who loves Star Wars and prefers to carry a light saber with him at all times. He can be the most confident guy in the world with zero insecurities and still not get any. He needs to "become attractive".

  • I think a more true version would be "be your confident self and you have higher chances". Faking is noticed right away but so is weakness.

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  • It works if "yourself" is something that's liked by women you like and you get to meet plenty of women of that type. Otherwise, no, not so much: you're gonna have to hange yourself a little, pick up hobbies, etc... women often won't notice you're not 100% passionate about those things you changed, mostly because they're doing the same thing to attract men.

    Also if you're ugly enough even a very interesting personality won't always cut it.

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  • Everyday you get to be the best you you can be, and with 30-35 years that should be one hell of a best you. The real question is are you really working on being the best you you can be? You get out of life what you put in, so if you don't put in the work you ain't going to get much I'm return.

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    • in return

    • Lol I work my ass off. Try to think of others, but not be a doormat. Just get treated like shit :(

  • Just be a gorgeous kunt and women will like you

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  • its not bad advice because it's true but it doesn't help people who aren't good with women. It's also how u present yourself that matters

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  • Well if you are looking to get laid you can probably put on a mask and be the person they want you to be. If you are looking anything long term such as a partner then you need to be 100% yourself otherwise you will not be happy.

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  • the sooner you show your true self, the better.

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  • That kinda depends on how" yourself" really is. Like if you're gonna walk up to them and be like " hey I'd like to fuck you" that's bad. But if you're respectful towards her then yes it will work to a degree. But how do you normally act?

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    • I am respectful, kinda shy thats just who I am.

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    • Lol, that only works for women.

    • Well, some woman get brave enough to ask men out. But they don't have to flat out ask, they can just at you but it is more likely that a woman would be approached than a man.

  • be the best versaion of yourself that works and if she dosent like you its her loss :)

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  • That works if you're rich or extremely attractive or have a huge dick.

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  • That's the stupidest advice ever. If women liked guys who were just being themselves then guys wouldn't have a problem getting a girlfriend.

    Also, people say be confident. While that helps it doesn't solve the problem. There are plenty of confident guys out there who still don't get women. You need to be attractive. Whatever that means.

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  • Being yourself works just try to not be certain parts of yourself like guys have a dumb fun stupid side to them where they do things like jackass try not to use that side of you when talking to a girl try to use the romantic side of you and a little bit of your sexual side also.

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  • It's good advice, though it's not really that women will like you, just when a women does like you she will like the real you

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  • Being yourself only works if your hot and have money.

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    • Then its not really being yourself that works its that you are hot and have money.

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