So we've been together for nearly a year now.. and we've not said "I love you" to each other yet. So once when he had.. had a few and we got intimate, he said "I love you" to me. I said "me too" back. Because I wasn't sure if it meant something. Today after we got intimate (he was sober) he said..."love you" again. And I said.. what? And he immediately blushed and said... nope... nothing nothing. And didn't touch on the topic all night. So do you think I should talk to him about it or just let it be?
Also I must mention that I tried to tell him that I loved him 6 months into the relationship... and he froze. He wouldn't let me say it and said he wasn't comfortable with the pace... the relationship was moving at. Also another time we had a big fight and I said we don't have anything really strong holding us together. And he said... well I like you but I don't love you. Im not there yet. And that's just me being honest. So after that I haven't really touched on that topic again...
In my experience I would tell you to move on. I am currently in a relationship with someone who has a huge problem with expressing himself to me. We've been together for 10 years married for 2 and in the beginning it was rocky and has only gotten worse. Mine has always told me he loves me but that is it and nothing more, zero communication and it has led to him going after other women. If he has a problem with communication, commitment or saying I love you after a year, then he has some serious problems that you can not make better. Girl, just save yourself some misery and get out now. People can change but they always do it in their terms and when it is right so if it isn't happening with you, you are not the right one for him. Nothing wrong in that, so lick your wounds get back on your feet and find the one who falls head over heels for you and will do everything it takes to make you know you are his and do everything it takes to keep you. Bottom line, a man in love will naturally do all he can and make a serious effort for the one he falls in love with. He won't be perfect, no one is, but you shouldn't have to question his love or devotion to you. Granted, their are bumps in long lasting relationships but with communication problems can be resolved and I can't stress enough that communication is key. Good luck
Some guys might say it because they don't know what else to say, but many who say it genuinely feel that way at that moment. Of course, real, genuine love isn't just about the BEST of times, but also about the WORST of times too. How he feels about you when he's stressed or upset or scared means more than how he feels right after sex.
I think you're going to have communication issues. Don't worry, most couples do. And think about it, the answer is given. This is why I think you and him need to work on communication. He said it, you're pretty sure he said it, because obviously you just now repeated it. And then he backed out on what he said. Then said nothing nothing. He doesn't want to talk about it. You put him on the spot. And you are wanting to put him on the spot again by asking? Remember all relationships are unique. He sounds like he doesn't speak his emotions often. That's a sign. That means your going to have to listen carefully and pick the right times to bring a conversation or else... he's going to tuck his emotions. This includes discussions and worsted arguments. It's difficult for guys to say what's up. For gals... when do they not talk emotions. Pick the right time, not on your watch but his. Now if it's affecting you negatively or you're confused about the relationship definitely ask on your watch.
An intimate encounter generally drives emotions and sometimes an "I Love You" can be spoken with little regard to deep emotional love, but more on par with superficial intimacy chat (also known as pillow talk). This does not mean love can't be true and deep. It depends on far too many factors to get into here, but your relationship is still relatively new.
If "I Love Yous" are flowing, and it's comfortable, there is nothing wrong with saying it. Sometimes superficial love feelings driven by intimacy can lead to deeper emotional love. In most cases, that's how love starts in today's loose sexual environment.
If the situation is truly bothering you, discuss it with your boyfriend. Tell him how you feel, and ask him if he feels the same. Don't pressure him, just be inquisitive and let him know it's important to you to know that he is happy and you want to understand where his feelings are in the relationship.
I can relate to your boyfriend at least from the info you have given out. So, my advice is to talk to him about it. But most importantly try to make it casual.. Say something to trigger his thinking and let him do all the talking. For example, you guys are normally talking so u say "by the way... the othernight u said this bla bla bla I was wondering how u really felt about it".. etc. Just a simple sentence and let him talk. Dont give him your opinion.. Just hear him out. Regardless of the way u approach u this, u must talk to him about it in some way. So good luck
a year in? it SHOULD mean something. if not u need to kick him in the dick. normally a guy will say it right after the first time and throw it around all the time, or not at all. if he just used it now a year in he probably means it.
Emotions took control of him for a moment. That is what happens during an orgasm. But when the feeling subsides, he goes back to normal. When I gave my girlfriend her first orgasm, she told me how much she wanted to be with me and loved me so much. But after that, it was pretty much, meh. Well, we did end up getting married, so it worked out in the end.
After a year I'd say it might. Some guys (girls too) say it just because it's a heat of the moment thing if not because they are drunk. My measuring stick has been when and how they say it and in what context. Only in the bedroom = just pillow talk so don't put much thought on it. Also actions speak louder than words = if he's a dick most of the time then probably not.
Well, considering that most guys say "I love you" before they come, and not after, I think he might really start loving you! Usually after they orgasm, they either roll away from you (and you're just another number being fucked in the hole), or they get closer to you (or say sweet stuff), This means you usually are getting his heart. It also means he probably would break and cry if you leave. Just saying.
Unless you already know that he loves you, yeah it means nothing by itself. There are a ton of hormones going through a man's head after orgasm so everything he says should be taken with a grain of salt like you would an intoxicated person.
He is just about the sex. In other words he doesn't love you and is only attached to the kind of sex you give him. So no, it doesn't mean anything. You have to mean something to him. He has to already love you. And you just said that he didn't say that. I believe that you should have waited until you heard his initial thought's from his own mouth. I'm sorry to say this, but it was just the moment. It doesn't mean anything. If he really didn't he would say 'nothing', he would be honest even if it emotionally kills him to say it. This happens to many guys after having sex with a girl they never 'loved' before. I personally know it isn't love. But the talk should already have happened, so yes. You do need to talk to him and be serious about it. The sex is getting in the way of the relationship because neither of you are established with building the foundation of what your relationship is about, and all you both are doing is confusing yourselves. This is a very dangerous are to be in.
Don't talk to him about it.. He'll either say the same thing again (he doesn't love You) and hurt you a bit or he'll say that he does love you but you won't be satisfied because you'll feel like you coerced him to Say it. Just let him struggle with his own feelings (because I do think he loves you). When he finally comes to term with them. He'll say the words outside of the bed.
Because you messed it up. He said I love you after he got the goodies boo. Stop letting your insecurities get in the way of this mans feelings for you before you run him off. When he was sober you made him feel pretty foolish and don't be mad if he doesn't do again for a while now cause you he went out on a limb and put himself out there and you just disregarded it.
I was once in your position and I had to let it go. Well, what I have done is not always the solution. If you have been dating for quite some time and you are both comfortable with each other, I guess both of you can talk about it and just be open about what you both feel and decide where it should lead. In a certain relationship, we all have goals on how it should grow and proceed. If you are up for just dating without commitments, and the other guy is serious about commitment, then I don't think you are both gonna work out. And as a woman, you should know your worth too. It all boils down to knowing your worth and your goal in this relationship. If you know these two, then you Cal definitely identify the answer on your confusion. Remember, a 'yes' should simply be 'yes' and a 'no' should be itself. Anything beyond that is destructive.
We all are different! Having our own advice, situations & opinions! There really is no right or wrong answers in regards to this specific private subject!! They call it intimacy for a reason! And, being intimate with your partner, IS the precisely the right timing to say it, mean it, expressing yourself with whom you want to share "love" with and share and give all you got to give!!! Otherwise,... just let them know that you really dig them!!! :)
A guy can/will say i love you after sex to mean thank you. he loved the way how the experience feels. he loves the way you made him feel. so he naturally said i love you. this doesn't mean he is in love with you. if he has shared this with you before. if you have fought with him, chances are he is still closed up. my ex. was the same way. he really likes you, you need to give him some space. let him miss you. my mistake was i was too nice to him and things were great, except that i didn't create the opportunity for him to fall in love with me. your situation sounds similar. also, i am wondering about his drinking? if you want to share.
I believe it means something
He means it but doesn't dare to say it. Say it first to him, outside of intercourse, and see how he reacts