Why do men ghost instead of just saying how they feel?

I thought only young guys did this but I'm begining to realize it's not an age thing and that most men behave his way. Why is that?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I guess they do it because it's easier but I prefer to be honest and straightforward so I'd just tell her I'm not interested

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know but it's really annoying. I'd rather someone be straight up with me to be honest.

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What Guys Said 25

  • Like @Bandit74 said, its really pointless trying to explain or talk sense into women. for those who have been on that side of the table enough times, know it is very very tiring. Kinda like that phrase women say "tell me the truth and i promise i won't get mad" that huge ass lie? its kinda like that. there is almost no convincing women, its just a setup. so many men, smart ones, don't even bother beginning the journey.
    i was answering a question today about begging/pleading with an ex to come back... and i said that it seemed like the more i pleaded, the more rooted she was in the decision to leave.
    Its nearly never worth it to explain or say anything because either:
    1. she doesn't get it
    2. she refuses to get it ("women are never wrong") or
    3. she sees and understands but guy feelings come second to hers.

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  • They learned from experience that they have nothing to gain from telling women how they really feel.

    Theyve come to the conclusion that its easier and less dramatic for them when they ghost.

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    • But if they do it to try an not hurt our feelings with the truth on why they don't like us. They are going about it all wrong. We actually get more hurt by this then we would the truth.

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    • @clubby I tried in boxing you the rest of what he responded but it says you need to follow me first

    • Just followed you, so try pming me again if you want :)

  • Girls do that shit too. Its not an age or gender thing. Its more of a "can I get away with it so I don't have to deal with the awkwardness of saying I ain't interested in yo ass anymore"

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    • We are grown adults though. ... it shouldn't be awkward to have a decent conversation

    • Not everyone is interested in having that conversation.

  • Trying to spare your feelings probably. Would rather not tell you they're not interested.

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    • You do realise that ghosting is way more hurtful than just telling someone you're not interested anymore, right?

    • @clubby Possibly, i never said i did it.

  • some guys ghost becoz some girls are stupid ! we talk when talking is useful.. we dont like long emotional talks that comes with nothing eventually. if we need to complain about something , it has to be once. if it is not fixed this means either the girl doesn't care or she is stupid and she didn't understand.. both are bad and means talking is not useful. other causes of ghosting can be feeling sooo angry of her that you can't even see or talk to her. and the most annoying cause is when she gives u the " i dont understand face " while you are sooo sure she understands everything!!

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    • This is crazy
      It's usually guys who are clueless never gawking listen we gotta tell you guys thr same shit 100 times and it still goes threw one ear and out the other so I'm not sure what your talking about.

    • iam not making generalizations , iam not talking about all men and all women. what u said can be true with some guys.. yet what i said is true too. some girls are really annoying !!

  • Because clingers never get the fucking message. You can't be nice to people like that.. they take it as an opportunity to try harder. Been there done that. Make intentions clear and go no contact. Simple as that.

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  • We come from a time when talking about your feelings as a male makes you look weak and "pussy" so we just learn to keep shit to ourselves, also lets be realistic women you like the idea of men talking about their feelings, but if they did it all the time something's wrong you'd be starting to think this guy is a bitch, and not a man that handles his shit. No woman wants a guy that complains and completely opens himself up 24/7

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    • It's nice to have them open up when it's needed instead of us having to probe them to do it

    • Yeah I understand. Like once in a while I think it's okay for a male to, once every couple months. Or whenever he really needs you, but for every problem you can't think it's really attractive? When you have a guy that can't handle himself

    • I'm saying when ghosting... why don't men just say how they feel instead of leaving us hanging. It would make hing so much easier and that's the most important time to stand up and speak

  • because there is still stigma against men showing their emotions, especially sad ones. some men think its better to censor oneself than to speak up.

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  • 1. You're crazy.

    2. He's a coward.

    Or...

    3. The relationship wasn't serious anyway.

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  • What is there to say? It's not working, time to move on.

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  • I don't know. Why do women, from teens to mid thirties, ghost instead of just talking and ending it?

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    • Woman usually don't? Or I have never. I always say it nicely if I'm not interested and that's that.

    • Good for you. However unless you date a lot of women you probably won't get ghosted by one.

  • Because expressing how we feel very rarely yields results.

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  • I could ask girls the same thing.

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  • Ease.

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  • I hate telling people how i feel, expecially people I like. It makes me uncomfortable and would rather talk about fun stuff, and laugh.

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  • So they don't have to deal with drama.

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  • they dont care about you so o point in telling you they aren't interested.

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  • In my experience its girls that ghost, but our social media society has made face to face communications obsolete.

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  • I think you've managed to meet ridiculous men. I wouldn't judge most of the gender based in them.

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  • Because our whole lives we have been taught that showing emotion is a sign of weakness

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  • They don't like conflict or don't know how to handle problems. Why do girls do this?

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  • Because it is easier and they don't wanna hurt your feelings.

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    • Probably easier for the man, but it will hurt the girl's feelings a lot more than if you just told them.

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    • @clubby yeah that's true most women don't want to make themselves look like fools. Fuck did I just get schooled? Lol enjoy your evening 😊

    • Well I hope so ;) anyway yeah, you too, goodnight :)

  • This is actually more commonly done by females...

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  • It depends if they know why the problem is, if there's a problem. Maybe you did something that seems like an obvious disinterest or did one of those girly hints that nobody understands and he took it in a bad way.

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What Girls Said 12

  • I've ghost men. It's hard, because it's been done to me and I know how much it sucks. Joke on me one of the guys I ghosted ended up being a customer at work... that was awkward. But to answer your question, I am sure it's the same with men... they either were not interested in anything serious and you were too serious, they found someone that clicked with them more or something like that. For me I didn't intend to ghost I just didn't answer the text right away, and then forgot, and then it just got awkward. Not always in that order but basically all it takes

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  • Men in general are not partially comfortable with feelings. Some naturally know how to communicate that way and others don't while some had to learn. Age has nothing to do with it. It's mentality and wither or not they are mature. Age doesn't make them adults or men just because their over 18 or 21 years old. You can be 43 and still be a child.

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  • Less drama for them. A real man would respect you enough to tell you. A man who doesn't is just a wuss.

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  • The same reason why girls do it. Cowardice.

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  • I've been ghosted.
    Guys who ghost are pussies lol

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  • Man, not everyone wants to have this big awkward conversation. If you have only been on a few dates, I think it's okay. I've done it too without guilt.

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  • I had that happen to me too once. And I didn't understand why. I suppose they don't want to explain or rather have any room for conversation. They'd rather just move on?

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  • For the same reason that some of us do it

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  • Because they are pussies.

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  • They're cowards.

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  • I often wonder that myself. I turn men down promptly and honestly, it's not hard. And much kinder.

    Leaving someone hanging is just cruel and really hurts their feelings.

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    • This is so true.

      I even always tell people I'd rather be told the trug and a little hurt by it then be lied to and mad.

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