I don't feel that I'm needy but I need assurance. Any other ladies feel the same?

I give my guy lots of space and am totally understanding of his video game and bro time. But with the lack of quality time (conflicting work schedules mostly) in the times of his absence I find my self getting upset over things and telling my self he doesn't care as much for me. I KNOW he does and he's never given me a real reason not to.
Today we had a talk because my feelings got hurt. He told me I make him feel like he's not doing something he should be and asked me what he could do to keep me from getting hurt and ultimatly thinking he doesn't care... I had no answer. I know I need assurance that they are still into me (not daily, but not 1/yr either), but I don't know what, other than specifically telling me, would help me feel better... anyone else been here?

Thank you, everyone. I appreciate all advise, and was really just looking for someone that under stood what I was feeling, because I couldn't make sense of it.


Most Helpful Girl

  • yes! i feel the same way. i am not a needy or clingy person who needs to be around someone all the time- in fact i feel like im an introverted extrovert and i need alone time. but i understand that you need assurance bc you want to know he still wants to be w you. i think what would make you feel better is if he plans special dates for you guys or if he gives up the time you give him to spend w his friends to be w you.. but thats his decision. the only thing i think you can do is ask for words of affirmation


What Guys Said 1

  • It's never the other person's job to entertain you,
    To make you feel secure


What Girls Said 2

  • I dunno is never the answer. You are a grown up. You brought up an issue to him and when he acknowledges that there is an issue and asks what he can do to fix it, you tell him you don't know.

    What the heck? Figure it out. Figure out why you feel neglected and figure out what he can do differently to change that. Why didn't you already know the answer? I dunno is never the answer. He was willing to address it and you said I dunno. Nor good.

  • I think you need to ask him for something specific he can do to make you feel better, otherwise he won't be as willing to listen next time. Men like to help, but you need to take them up on it.

    I would suggest that maybe if he can't see as much of you as you would like, that you suggest he sends you a text every other day. It's not much to ask, and if that helps he might be willing to do it every day. A text can often make you feel as though you're being thought about at least. Or maybe he might offer to actually ring you instead.

    I do know how you feel, and it isn't easy to 'just relax'. Good luck.