I AM 16 and in 10th grade! Would it be okay for me to date an 8th grader?

please don't delete this question. I am 16. I'm in 10th grade. not 8th grade.

I met this girl a few months ago. We talked a little bit, but nothing serious or anything. But recently, like today. She started texting me and texting me and texting me and TEXTING ME, she still is now actually.

I'm a 10th grade guy and I'm 16, and she's an 8th grader and I'm not sure how old she is. She is suuuuuper flirty with me, and we are going to hang out next Friday. I guess it's a date because she's not bringing anyone else, and neither am i. we're gonna see a movie and hang out at the mall.

But the problem is that, I'm not sure if I should be getting into this with an 8th grader. I think people might give me crap about it, but she's really cool, outgoing and bubbly. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! I'm confused. Especially since there is another girl in my grade who I like, but I don't think she likes me. I kinda like this 8th grader, but I also kinda like the other girl that's my age. But I don't think the sophomore girl likes me, but I'm 99.999999% sure that the 8th grader likes me. I don't think anyone can tell that she's an 8th grader, because she looks like a freshman. So... what do you think? I kinda like both of those girls.

btw, her friend is in 7th grade, and she's dating a 12th grader. lol

but her friend looks like she's 15-17.
oops. I meant 11 grader. But still that's kinda bad.,


Most Helpful Girl

  • ...Okay...

    This my opinion so don't feel offended if I happen to say something that you may not agree with. =)

    I think she is too young, honestly. Yes it is only two years difference, which isn't bad considering the fact that you aren't after a ten year old. But most kids at that age just date, to have a boyfriend because they think its the "cool" thing to do.

    She may very well like you, but I think she still has a bit of growing up to do, if you are looking to share a serious relationship with her. If you also just want to date her, to have a girlfriend then I suppose that is alright? But make sure first what she wants so that you do not end up leading her on and breaking her heart.

    I believe both of you should just enjoy life and have guy, and girl friends, but not literally dating in a sense. I made a decision for myself to not date while I was in high school and it has honestly saved myself a LOT of heartbreak and nights in front of the tellie watching titanic and eating a bunch of ice cream. =)

    The age difference is okay, so I find no issue with that. But don't just date, because you want a girlfriend. You should make sure you actually LIKE her, and not because the other girl in your grade doesn't like you and you know you are "safe" knowing this grade 8 likes you. If you date someone, you must never be ashamed of her. So who cares what people are going to say about you two dating because of what grade she is in. That is their own immaturity.

    I hope you make the right decision. Good Luck.


    • Still not sure. I'm still chasing after the girl in my grade(not literally). :/

      best answer yet. :)

    • Well I think you should sit back and relax about it. There is really no need to rush into it so don't stress.

      Everything will straighten out in the end!


    • I wouldn't be so sure. Things don't just work out like that. Especially since a bunch of guys like the girl in my grade also.

      I have a feeling it's just gonna end out just like last time... I'll still be single.

What Girls Said 39

  • no. date someone your own age. you're in hs, she's still in middle school

    • But the only girl I like in my grade doesn't like me.

  • Well if she's in 8th grade she's like what, 13 14? I really don't think age is a huge deal or issue. I'm 16 too and in 10th grade and at my school age doesn't really matter. If I were you I'd hang out for now and wait until she's at least a freshmen. That way it's less awkward, still awkward but less. If you do decide to get into anything with her take it slow. A lot of girls go out with guys a few years older then them and think it's cool and act 'grown up' but really they just hurt themselves. I'm not saying that's the case here but it is common and something to think about.

  • I think it is really up to you and her, but if you are planning on making things serious or doing anything other then kissing then you should see how her parents feel. At your age what the parents thinks makes a difference especially sense she is under age. When it comes to both girls it's really up to you. You can always just date and see where things go, but make sure you discuss where you stand. Dating: just each other or also others. This may be late but good luck.

  • no, 8th grade and 10th grade may only be a few years apart, but mentally, emotionally, and maturity wise it's a huge leap. it doesn't matter how old her friend 'looks', by dating a senior she's losing so much of her childhood, yes 7th and 8th graders are still children. and even though the age difference isn't as drastic as her friends relationship, you would still be forcing her to grow up faster then necessary... but that's just my opinion, do as you please.

  • hey! I think you should go for it, you should not care what people think.

    Good Luck!

  • Young girls like that are still learning how to be in a relationship, and the constant texting is a sign that she could be an obsessive girlfriend. Just beware of that.

    As for age, I don't think it's a big deal in this case. I heard somewhere that the youngest you should date is half your age + 7 years. So it you're 16, that would be... 15? That's just what I go by though, and as long as you're not embarrassed by her or anything, it should be fine.

  • the 7th grader and 12th grader scenario is kinda scary cause older guys manipulate their girlfriends sometimes, the maturity factor and gap is large at that age. for your situation, I believe there is a difference. how about waiting till she goes to highschool?

  • ok for one her friend dating the 12th grade...that is THE most disgusting thing I have ever heard. When you're a senior in high school you'll understand why. I don't think it's a huge deal for you to date an 8th grader especially since you're the older one, being the guy and all. your friends probably will make fun of you...you just have to decide for yourself if this girl is worth what you think people in your grade will think of you. I mean just because a girl likes you doesn't mean you have to date her

  • well you have to make sure that she's not JUST a flirt! cause A LOT of middle school girls just like to flirt with high school guys just to say that they got a high school boyfriend... she might be flirting A LOT but maybe she doesn't like like you as you think she does! BUT just make sure she really DOES like you! before you start getting serius with her (that's if you do want to get serious) and also try to find out if the sophmore likes you back! then later you decide which girl you like most!

  • Wait till she's in high school, it's not bad cause it's only two years but the whole middle school to highschool thing makes a bigger difference than you'd think

  • Find out how wold she is...

    Tho she might be really mature - I dated a 15 year old when I was 11, & he ended up being too immature, so I dumped him - hah I'm serious age is really not a good indicator of anything.


    • Ok, no offense. 11 year olds shouldn't even be dating in the first place. and what kind of 15 year old would date an eleven year old.

      anyway. I say two grade levels is the limit until after college.

    • Show All
    • And Romeo and Juliet were also fictional characters. But when they did fall in love and "dated" they killed themselves. Great example...

    • Yeah, I thought so.

      They killed themselves because marriage back then was power & property. Marriage had had nothing to do with love, & there suicide had nothing to do with their age.

      I just meant you can get along personality wise.

      The play gets certain pnts across & one is that love is strong- they died together because te loved each orther & many real people, older than them have done similar things - they did ont want to be imprisoned.... Tho not a course of action I would have taken

  • I'm dating a younger guy, but we're both older than you. Age difference starts to matter less the older you get. It really is going to depend on how the two of you feel about it. You both need to be comfortable about the age difference or it will not work. Ask yourself this: If you two started dating, would you be comfortable if your friends and family knew about the age difference? Or would you be embarrassed? If you'd be embarrassed or you're having doubts, then yes. She's too young. Another thing to consider is the laws in your place of residence. Look up your age of consent laws! If it's illegal where you live, it's an easy decision. And hey- you're both young. Lots of life ahead of you, and lots of people to date :) She might be even cooler and hotter and outgoing at age 17!

  • umm...thats just not right. I think you should wait til she's a freshman. junior and freshman sounds better than 8th grader and sophomore honestly.

  • Age doesn't matter I started going out with my boyfriend when I was 13 & right now I'm 20 and he was 15 when we started dating, and were still together don't worry about what other people say

  • It's up to you. Do you like her? Go for it. Just don't take advantage of her, nothing past kissing or making out. 8th grade is too young for sexual contact. And don't worry what your friends think. I hate when guys won't ask you out, because their friends don't approve. Do what you want.

  • no. someone who is 16 or above shouldn't date someone below 16. it leaves you open to all sorts of trouble considering having sex with someone under 16 if you are over 16 is illegal. best to keep well away from any of that sort of contact, even if you aren't having sex until the person is 16.

  • 7th grade and dating a 12th grader...wow. Just wow.

    Anyway, no I think it would be much better if you dated someone who was already in high school. Look at it this way, you're friends aren't going to have much respect for you if you can't get someone your own age. Besides, in middleschoolers are still children. :O

  • I'd answer this but this is an old question and it's probably too late for help

    But I'm just going to say I was in a good relationship with the same exact age difference, three years is fine. It depends on maturity.

  • Ok..wow...lol. You can date her...as long as you're not 18...(thats considered statutory rape)---but usually if a "kid" is in the 8th grade they are 13, 14 or 15 depending when their Bday falls. lol...Good Luck. Pick the gal you like best. Now, a 7th grader dating a 12th grader that's just wronggg...

  • noo I think its ok

  • NO

  • I don't think there's any type of problem dating her. As long as you two have things in common and have fun when you go out that's all that matters. :)

  • First of all.

    Age doesn't matter.

    Sure people will talk crap things

    Then again its up to you.

    For me, I don't care about what other people think and I follow what I want.

    So the bottom line is. FOLLOW WHAT YOU WANT. BE A MAN! rofl:]

  • it really does not matter the age m friends parents got married one was22 the oth 40 so as long its love or a crush age should not matter

  • no! it's not bad... 1 or 2 years doesn't really matter...

  • im lauren I'm 14 and an 8th grader I'm in love and kinda dateing this 17 year old boy and we are in love but our realationship is on hold for the time being because his ex girlfriend is bothering him and he just wants 2 get things straight with her so yea we are just takein a break and he tells me after he gets everthing worked out ill always b his baby girl well I g2g

  • yeh along as you guys at at thhe same place in your guys lifes

  • i don't think the age really matter at all.. but make sure this girl is not a little immature girl cause damn they will be always be complaning about things so just be careful:)

  • it doesn't matter what age they look my friend!

    is all you care about what people think?

    its what your getting yourself and the girl into ...

    i think it would be best to pursue the girl your age and hey if that doesn't work out next year the girl whos in grade 8 will be in grade 9 and you'll both be in highschool

    grade 9 and 11 is completely normal and common

    but 10 and 8 ? a bit different ...

  • Two things to really consider:

    1) is she mature enough to date? I'm a teacher and I'd bet that at least 75% of my 8th grade students are not capable of having real romantic feelings. They date each other for a week because its 'cool' but they don't even hold hands.

    2) how do her parents feel? Will her parents FLIP if they find out she's dating someone older? I know you don't want to care what adults think, but it could become a big issue.

    • Does anyone think it is alright for a 12th grade guy to go out with a 10th grade girl ?

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What Guys Said 21

  • It could definitely be considered "treading on thin ice", but only because you're both young. On the other hand, something to remember is that girls mature faster than guys at that point in their lifetime. So, a lot of times, you tend to see freshman girls dating senior guys. This is because of that maturity gap. Now, I don't suggest doing much more than dating or hanging out. This means no sex or anything (this age gap can be a very bad thing at a young age).

    About choosing which girl to chase after: that's got to be your decision... there is one thing I figure I could leave you with in that aspect... Whoever you chase, just be yourself. I mean, who else is better qualified :-D

    Bottom line: dating her is sort of flirting with the edge, but if you really like her, there's not much avoiding it. There are a million different ways this could go.

    • Yea, definently no sex. That's illegal unless we're BOTH 16+.

      I'm gonna go to the movies with her and hang out to find out if I really do like her.

      I'm still not sure if the girl in my grade that I like likes me though. She flirts with a lot of guys, I don't know if she's playing hard to get or if she just doesn't like me. I mean she says hi and smiles, but that's it.

    • Well, first, I don't know about your state, but my state it's sixteen with parents permission (and it's still a really sketchy deal because the parents can change their mind at any time).

      Also, people flirt. Harmless flirting is okay... but when it comes down to it, you need to be able to draw the line.

  • I believe a 8th grade girl is about 11-12. Don't get involved in this my friend. You may enjoy the attention from a girl, but that age is not going to fair well on any front what so ever. Focus yourself on 16-18 girls. They are way more in your ball park.

    • What the hell? 8th grade girls are 13-14. Dude. are you serious? what planet are you from? hahah

    • I was 12 in 8th grade. It all depends when your birthday is. And what planet am I from? You're the one asking if it's ok if you date a girl in 8th grade while you are 16. Anyone from planet earth would know that it's not acceptable and it shouldn't be done.

    • Not when 8th graders are teenagers. it's only two grades down. Juniors date freshmen all the time. It's the same age difference.

      The only 12 year old that would get into 8th grade would have to be a mega genius who skipped 2 grades. Unless you've skipped two grades, then what kind of 8th grade are you talking about?

  • First chemistry and no mathematics? Why do we have to resort to a life time of numbers to sufficiently idolize how happy and content we could be with someone. It's maturity not majority that matters. If she can keep up with you on certain things, then I say why not. However, if she looks below the average of an 8th grader. And you look above the average of an 10th grader, then for the love of god you are screwed.

    But age doesn't matter, and grade is only an average of age, therefore both do not matter. She's probably just two years younger than you. But if she looks younger than 14, it maybe a problem. For OTHER PEOPLE to except the idea.

  • You should find out her age first. Grade doesn't mean anything.

    I would say is she is less than 2 years younger than you, its ok, but take it real slow. I mean, in a few months she will be a freshman right?

    But over two years at your age is pushing it, and you might just want to leave that be. Doesn't matter if she likes you, its just probably not a good idea.

    • Yeps. She'll be a freshman and I'll be a junior.

    • Show All
    • She'll be 14 in july though. I just turned 16 two months ago.

    • Well I didn't know how much you liked her or what haha

      I just really think that's a bad idea. Because, its not just a number. You can keep telling yourself that it is, or that she is mature, but there is a line, and you are dancing on it.

      Its true that the difference between 23 and 26 year olds doesn't mean anything at all, and I know its not fair, but I think you should just wait a bit on that one.

  • I say if she really likes you and the girl that you like in your grade is not being so outgoing and trying to get you like this girl is, I'd go for the girl that wants to try and get you.

    And who knows maybe it'll spark the girl in your grade, if she has any feelings at all for you, to try and get you. :]

  • Go for it. Its fine. Chances are you are going to get crap for it, I wouldn't worry about. What is she 14 and your 16? Its not a big deal. I used to see it all the time in high school and middle school

  • the friend is kind of ridiculous.. your situation is not.

    Although it sounds weird now since she's in middle school and you're in high school, next year it will be a junior/freshman so it's not weird.

  • My friend is 17 in 11th grade and he is dating an 8th grader, you may get some static from your friends and others, but I don't believe there's anything wrong with it as long as your not just using her because she's younger and doesn't know better

  • I would say it's OK. you're both young and immature anyways, what harm can it do? Besides, if people give you crap, who cares? Once you graduate high school, you'll never see these people again anyways. I would say go for the one who likes you and that you like otherwise you'll end up dissapointed. I mean, have you even talked to the girl whose your age? For your best possible results, have fun with the girl who likes you back.

    • Yea, I've talked to the girl who is my age, I used to do it everyday. I'm getting mixed results and it's really freaking confusing. One day I think she likes me, then the next she completely ignores me. She barely ever answers my texts, and IVE ONLY TEXTED HER 2 TIMES. so I don't know why she wouldn't reply. I tried to call her once and she didn't pick up either, and then she didn't even explain why at school either.

      girls... JLGHLAJHjfalhjflajhaf-023i4uh'p9u0p91-uy!!!

  • Oh my god! this is the exact situation I had myself in the beginning of the school year...but now I actuallly am going out with her so best of luck! D O N ' T C A R E W H A T O T H E R S

    T H I N K! AS LONG AS YOU LIKE HER AND SHE LIKE YOU SHE S GOOD! my friends thought it was weird...people are D I C K S! it ll eventually not matter...

    as long as you like her for who she is...and aren't using her..

    • I'm completely out of this situation. It turns out that the girl was faking her age and she was actually in 7th grade. ughhh I don't talk to her anymore.

    • dont worry ask out that other girl you mentioned, the worst thing that'll happen is that you get the no...but if she doesn't like you make her...if your an artist draw her something...do something she won't forget...just my opinion

  • yep, it's bad, go at your own risk

  • no there is nothing wrong with it, I believe age shouldn't make a difference, it's all personal choice and fallowing your heart.

  • the guy her friend dates is a f*cking looser because he's dating a little kid and he's close to pedophile, but your situation ain't all that bad, it is waay easier to do this if you're a little older, but the question we all need to ask is; is she hot?

    because if she is totally hot there's no reason why you should give a flying f what other people say, because they can't do better themselves ;-)

  • anything 16-and down

    it is illegal

    • No it's illegal to have SEX with anyone 16 and down. I don't plan on having sex with her.

  • At the high school middle school age, that does get a bit awkward, but when you're out of high school that type of stuff really doesn't make a big difference. A few friends of mine are dating people who are close to four years older/younger than themselves. Ultimately, it's up to you. Plus torken had a good point, she will be a freshman soon.

  • hey buddy,

    its not that this age difference is inherently wrong, it just sounds like on some level she is trying to jump the gun on her status in life. I'm sure you know that you were a totally different person when you were in 8th grade compared to now. In terms of how that can effect you, it could kinda give you a thing for younger girls and her a thing for older guys. not to say that's bad... but at the same time the whole stage of time you are dealing with is pretty cool, and sh*tty at the same time. If you really wanted to, you could probably pull a senior. if she really wanted to she probably could too...lol.

    dude all I'm saying is that I spent my highschool years tied down to girls that were kind of younger at heart than I was, and it sucked. At the time it was cool, but to look back on it, I think I held myself back from a lot of fun I could've had, when instead I had to sit around and watch tv or stay home from that party, or spend time with girls instead of going out camping or other cool things with my buddies. I think its also healthy to date around at your age. the more experience you get now in terms of being comfortable around the ladies, the more it will pay off later.

    Im not about to give you a yes or no answer, but I think deep down you know what the wise choice is.

    most decisions in life lay in the gray area homie. you can't see it as black and white when its coming at you imminently

  • I know exactly how you feel, I've been there before, I managed to fall head over heels with a girl 2 years younger (I was 16, she was 14). I wouldn't say that it's impossible because girls mature faster than boys but you will have to be really careful, not only simply because you're older than her but because of what other people would think. There are plenty out there who would make life difficult for you because of it.

    If you really like her and you think it could work go ahead, just remember to be careful.

    Good luck :)

    • I probably wouldn't tell people she's in 8th grade. I'd just say she's a freshman. she'd understand.

    • As long as it wouldn't make life too difficult :)

  • U should go for it , don't give a fck about how the others are gonna react , if you are happy with her then go for it.

  • its only a 2 year difference so go for it

  • dont listen to mich mich mich. she's a bitch

  • no, date a girl who has hit puberty

    • Dude, she looks like she's my age. she could easily get mistaken for a sophomore. She has hit puberty a long time ago man.

    • Why are you asking then?