So, as the username tells, I'm of Indian descent. Except... I'm not. I was adopted at birth by a White couple, and raised in a community and state that were virtually all White. I sometimes deride myself as "a white boy with a permanent tan."
That being said, I being single in the modern world, have a Tinder; an OkCupid, etc. I primarily am swiping / outreaching to White people (I will STRONGLY EMPHASIZE here that by no means am I a racist or some type of xenophobic... if the right gal came along and she wasn't White, I'd still go for it)
My consternation is that I make what I feel is a considerable effort on these sites, and get virtually NOTHING back. Contrast my friends (White) who seem to get matches and replies left and right.
I live in a large urban part of the country with a substantial young adult population... I'd think I'd have more success than I do?
Ladies, do you sometimes pass on a message or swipe left on a person because they are of a different background? Yes I'm asserting these sites all weigh looks significantly over substance.
Or am I just completely off base in my conclusions?
Granted, I'm no male model or whatever, but still... it seems off how few matches / responses I get relative to my efforts.
Most Helpful Girl
Dude, straight up, if you're a minority, you do not (and NEVER will) fit the conventional (White) American standard of beauty. The (White) American standard of beauty is what American people generally use when determining if they like the way someone looks (and if you're on an online dating site, that's literally all you have to go off of). Sure, everyone's got their quirks, some like brown eyes over green, straight hair over curly, tan over reflective-road-hazard pale, etc but the reason why all the White guys around you have a leg up is because the American standard of beauty is the FIRST measure by which Americans will measure attractiveness. Of course, not everyone considers White men attractive, but in America they are the "default" if you will. Don't waste your time trying to meet/match it.
Play to your strengths. You're a minority, so your experiences are GUARANTEED to be different from your White neighbor's. You're lucky in that girls are way less visual than guys, so personality is going to score you a lot of points. In order for that to be applicable though, you have to actually meet people face-to-face and interact with them. This means you cannot rely upon visual-only based methods of meeting people.
Personally, I've always liked interracial dating/couples (nature favors diversity), but that being said, I've never seen a relationship succeed because the minority "acted/looked White enough."2
Most Helpful Guy
With all the gay and gender crap now, Interracial dating should not at all be considered taboo.2