Guys, how do you feel about girls who've never dated or anything?

I'll be 21 next month and I've never been in a relationship, never been on a date, never been asked out, kissed or anything. Every time I like a guy he's either already in a relationship, uninterested, or most recently, gay. Plus I'll admit that, esp. being in college right now, dating has never really been high enough on my priority list for me to really go out and try... over the years I've told guys my feelings/ "made the first move", but that ended with them acting cool about it at first, then eventually ignoring/avoiding me so I'm turned off from doing that ever again. Plus I know a lot guys my age are only interested in sex and I want more than that. I'm just worried that the longer I go without having dated, the harder it'll become because guys will start to think something's wrong with me. I've heard guys don't want the burden of dating a virgin, but I've also heard that some guys don't mind it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It has never mattered to me if a girl has ever been in a relationship or not. I've known women who are the same age I am or older who have never had sex or never been in a relationship, and I actually would rather date them than to date a woman who's been through several relationships that failed, because it says something about her character and what she's doing wrong or NOT doing. And although I'm not one of those guys who's crazy about virgins, I do find older adult female virgins to be really sexy for some odd reason, lol.

    So I think it's better for you to know what it is you want first, and work on what YOU can offer in a relationship, than to be concerned about how old you are when you get into one. Never-been-kissed is still better than been-kissed-a-bunch-but-still-failing.

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What Guys Said 29

  • I'll tell you what
    1) Don't brag about how awesome it is to be single and try to show that it doesn't affect you when it does. We can see through that bs.
    2) Be hygienic.. well mannered and polite
    3) Do not resist the advances of a guy only because he doesn't look like your dream guy. ( by advances I dont mean unnecessary creepy touches.. then report him to the cops asap).

    The most common fault of girls of this type is they have set their standards too high for a guy but they themselves dont have much to offer. Lowering your standards should be your first step. The guys whom you like are in relationships or uninterested.. why? Because they are with the girls who meet their standards. So lowering your standards should be the first step. Then you'll start observing guys who genuinely like you and will make you happy.

    I am not sorry for saying something that hurt you. Because that's the truth and that's how you'll be happy.. I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY

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    • You didn't hurt me, you gave me your opinion and I appreciate it. But instead of lowering my standards I'm just focusing on my school and improving myself so that eventually I will have a lot more to offer than I do right now

    • But... the kind of guys who want a virgin/less experienced girl are usually the ones who don't care about your academic and professional accomplishments... they tend to want some kind of submissive (house) wife, but they use code like "feminine" or "traditional" as euphemisms.

    • @JohnDoe3000 Exactly what this guy said...
      And I am glad you want to improve yourself :) That kind of attitude is gonna take you far

  • I'm fine with it, good with it, I'd be glad and pleased. it means you aren't dragging around a bunch of emotional baggage. but it also means you are inexperienced in relationships and probably don't know what you want. so I'd just be conscious of that. I'm not as concerned about romantically experienced... that will get figured out. its more relationship... what do you need, what do you like, what bugs you, etc...

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  • What can happen is you overthink it and have a list of reasons why it has happened or not happened. Keep going at the pace you are comfortable with and with your own personal morals. You will probably eventually meet a guy for you who is on your wavelength. If you are getting close enough to a guy to date and your lack of experience/virginity is an issue for him, he is probably not the guy for you. If he is the right guy for you, he will take it in his stride. Last thing I would say there are many who get to 21 without having a BF/GF.

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  • I don't think about it at all actually. I don't care.

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  • I think nothing of it. What interest me is who you are. What are your opinions on stuff. What you like, dislike etc. The rest is not really important. To me, it's like you told me you had never driven a motorcycle or remodeled a kitchen. I am not interested in what you never did, I am interested in what you are willing to try.

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  • 21? No problem at all. Not even particularly unusual. I remember an absolutely lovely 31? I would start to wonder but she could still be an undiscovered gem. 41? That's a bit odd but I had an uncle who met a woman in her early 40's still living at home. They married and had a great life together.

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  • If you're worried guys don't want to date you because you're a virgin (btw, how do they know you're a virgin?) then maybe you should try giving in to one of those guys who just wants sex. This would also give you some experience with flirting and might make guys seem more like people and less like alien beings to you so you'll appear more relaxed when interacting with a guy you really like. It's the same advice I give to male virgins really.

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    • Thanks for your opinion... but I'm not comfortable w/ the idea of just sleeping with some random person :/

  • It's fine, I'm in the same boat, and never dated or anything, and much older. Who cares, only people who love to judge and think that anything oher than their understanding of everything is abnormal... fuck them

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  • Guys don't mind if you're a virgin so don't worry about that at all. There is nothing wrong with not being in a relationship but considering what you said you tried to have some dates and you failed , you even made the first move and you failed. (btw i like it when girls do that)
    I'm not trying to be kinda psychologist or sth but seriously? Have you ever considered what you want in a guy? You seem like you don't know what you want.

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  • You have nothing to worry about!! I've never dated anyone either and for reasons just about identical to yours. I've been broken hearted too when even to this day the love of my life won't even talk to me and I have no clue why. We were best friends growing up and after we both went our separate ways in college we somehow drifted apart. But do not fear! If I have hope that I'll find someone someday so can you! And don't worry about being a vergin. I actually hope my wife is because I believe waiting till marriage is the right thing to do.

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  • They are the pure souls 🙏

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  • I'd prefer a girl like that since Im in the same situation.

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  • I really don't mind. But I think that you being turned off from making the first move forever because of one unsuccessful attempt is fucking ridiculous, and shows what kind of a personality you have.

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    • How do you what kind of personality I have based off that? Especially when I implied in my question that I've had waaay more than one unsuccessful attempt... I just don't see the point in continuing to do something over and over that only results in me getting ignored and avoided. I don't know about you, but I don't like that feeling.

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    • Yeah but that's on them, not on you. You shouldn't feel dumb just because they couldn't be honest with you.

    • Yeah. Thanks :)

  • I've dated girls exactly like this before and the only negative thing is their fear and anxiety of doing stuff. The lack of experience is okay, but when she approaches sexual stuff in the same way she approaches going to the dentist it's not fun.

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  • It will neither become harder nor easier. That's some kind of mis-understanding on your part.

    It's not important to me what her past is. I'm interested in her ambitions.

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  • I mean it's not like you haven't tried dating so it's not weird at all. You've just been very unlucky so I think most guys would be understanding of that. Also more guys are okay with virgins than you think.

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  • i always feel sad for girls like you and i would kind of like flirt with these girls because they can be a diamond in the rough you know.

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  • Geez not even a playdate? Damn :v
    Well, I dunno maybe it's the way you approach them or the type of guys you like... so many factors here.

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  • She's probably mean.

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  • I've never been in a relationship and i just started dating this one girl right now as we speak, you should just go with the glow thats what i do, and i never had a girlfriend

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  • So long as your willing to learn from your mistakes during sex, it's all good.

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  • I've never dated anyone either, so I'd have no issues at all.

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  • I've never dated or anything so I think it's fine.

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  • Well have you had opportunities to date guys you weren't interested?

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  • Pure girls are the best
    Don't ruin it

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  • It fine

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  • Where not women we don't care about that stuff

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  • theyre coool

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  • I have no problem with women that have never dated. However, I have giving up on dating and keep to myself now. 😞

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