If a guy asks you to go for a drink rather than dinner?

This guy I've been chatting too, asked me if I'd like to grab a drink. Now I know it will sound stupid but I've never actually been asked on a first date to go for a drink. It's always dinner or a movie. could he be thinking gets me tipsy he will get in there. Im probably overthinking but I thought I'd ask.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • ok having a drink and talking is more of a casual opportunity that is better to actually get to know each other.. as your not stuffing your face =P There are also things that will spark conversation like pool, dart, dancing or just whatever music is playing.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • A drink or coffee is the perfect first date - easy to talk, low key and casual, plus not a big waste of time and money if you don't hit it off - much less pressure.

    That's almost all I do for the first couple of dates. You control your drinking - most drinks dates don't involve getting hammered.

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What Guys Said 11

  • It might just be a friendly thing.

    At least I would never offer such an invitation to someone with evil intentions to take advantage. I drink as a way to kind of release stress and invite my friends to do the same. That said, I'm in Japan which is a heavy-duty drinking culture (with drinking often being a prerequisite for many jobs).

    In my case, when I offer to grab a drink with a girl after work, for example, it's actually a less romantic proposal than if I asked for a full-blown date. It's usually just like, "Let's kill off some stress and loosen up."

    If you're not comfortable drinking though, you can politely decline. And even if you are comfortable, if you want to play it safe, take it easy on the drinks.

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  • It can be a casual way to have a first date, but that is my assumption because drinking is a way to cut through inhibitions, or worse... spike her drink and drug her (which does happen). Just drink Iced Tea or water and surprise him:) Personally, I have no interest in that kind of date, but I'm not a drinker.

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  • A drink/shooting pool, coffee, or something like fishing are pretty much the only 'first date' activities I'll do any more. That dinner and a movie shit is tired, and a decent dinner plus movie is easily going to be $80 or more. For someone who may or may not be interested, who could just be spending a couple hours of her time for a free meal and some entertainment.

    Nope.

    The last 'first date' I did cost me about $8 for two coffees at Starbucks. I ended up seeing that woman for 4 months, and we still talk and I might turn her into a friends with benefits, we'll see how that goes. She's the only ex I actually talk to so maybe I'll just continue just talking.

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  • It's more or less a blind date. He's asking you for a drink because if it doesn't go well then you don't have to sit through an awkward dinner. If things go well he is likely to suggest that you stay for dinner or else go to a nearby restaurant. That's how I met my wife. We met a Starbucks. She asked me if I wanted another coffee. I said no. She was disappointed. Then I suggested lunch.

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  • Maybe he has social anxiety and wants to drink the first time you meet to make conversation go better.

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  • I always ask to "grab a drink". for me, bars are the most comfortable, fun, and enjoyable places to be in. I dont even drink anymore but I still say it cause technically im still drinking... soda.

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  • trying for a fast cosby

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  • A drink is a lesser commitment than full on dinner if you don't like each other you can leave or choose to stay for dinner

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  • no because going for a drink is more like - hey im a guy thats interested in you
    and going for the movies or dinner is more like a friends thing the do als just say no if you dont wanne drink hope it helpt.

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  • I doubt this is his reason, but personally I have digestive issues and am not very fun to be with right after anything but a very light dinner. So for me this would be ideal.

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  • just make sure you dont overdrink (know your limit)

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What Girls Said 9

  • Guys always ask for a drink, he probably wants to see if you're worthy of a dinner date. I'm wrong most likely lol. Don't listen to me.

    Watch your drink though!

    But asking for a drink is the first step where he actually gets to know you.

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    • No, you're pretty much dead on.
      I don't take girls out for dinner or anything until she's proven three things. 1) She can converse about a variety of subjects, and is open to learn, but also assertive enough to teach and explain. 2) She's not rude to all men other than the one she's interested in (me). 3) We've been out a couple times and I don't feel as if she's using me as a standby wallet.

    • Show All
    • :) is that your artwork in your avatar?

    • @hesoyam1895 no I wish, I found it to be beautiful.

  • Yes, you are over thinking! He likes you, but does not know if you like him as much. He is also being sensible in that if the date doesn't work out, it is easier to exit a drinks date than the full 'singing and dancing' dinner date not considering the bloody higher cost of dinner and movie in comparison to drinks or coffee if you are not going dutch and he is paying. Going out for a first date for drinks is actually more appropriate and practical. If you guys get on like a house on fire, drinks can quickly turn into drinks, dinner, and movie! Finally, if a guy asks you for a drink and you can't keep your alcohol down, then become teetotal for that night and stick to non-alcoholic cocktails please [being drunk isn't pretty] - they are sweet and harmless - that takes away your paranoia as to his intention of getting you drunk... and having his wicked way with you. Good luck, relax, and enjoy your date with this obviously sensible man.

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  • Going for a drink is a pretty standard first date. It's more casual and relaxed than dinner and a movie. I'd say yes, you're over thinking it. Obviously, it's always a good idea to be careful, especially if you don't know him well. Like, don't leave you half finished drink sitting there as you go to the bathroom for example. And nurse one or two drinks through the evening.

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    • My first date with my boyfriend was beers and bar games. Most of my first dates have been meeting at a pub for a drink actually.

  • I don't think there's anything wrong with a drink. It's so you can talk and get to know each other better

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  • No, it's just more casual. It's very common.

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  • Whats the problem, drinks will lead to dinner? High expectations much?

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  • Depends. If he try to get you drunk.. Maybe he put get laid as priority..

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  • over thinking.
    you don't have to over drink. i don't drink because i have no tolerance. guys have taking me out for drinks. i always have a good time. there is no way that i would get wasted to the point i have no clue whats going on.
    one guy kept saying i can finish a bottle and i did. finally one of the dates i said i was hungry, he took me out to dinner. obviously, i wasn't interested in him because he was more interested in getting me drunk. so i got rid of him after 7 drinking dates. one dinner. the strange thing, i don't see all those meet ups as dates...
    guys who are more serious always got to spent quality day time/lunch/dinner with me.
    try to avoid movie dates. you want an opportunity to get to know ea. other esp. early on the 1st -3rd or 5th date...
    know yourself

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  • Just tell him no be you don't handle your alcohol too well

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