I met my boyfriend about 2 years ago and we've been dating ever since and it's so amazing. Well we've become really serious to now thinking about marriage!! And I'm so happy at the thought of us starting a life together. But the thing is I've never introduced him to my family as they are racist and wouldn't like him. So what do I do?
I had the same issue when I dated a black woman (I'm half-Japanese, half-American).
My American side of the family wouldn't tolerate it, they're Bible-thumping religious types with hidden racist tendencies. I tried showing photos of us together to my mother and she started turning all passive-aggressive about it, saying vague things like how she doesn't agree with my "lifestyle choices".
I didn't want to expose my girl to that environment, knowing how unwelcome she'd be made to feel. Our relationship didn't work out (I had to move and it became long-distance), but if I married her, it would have been without the blessing of my mother.
You might try gently talking to your parents first about it without him. If they can't accept, I would have gone for marriage without their blessing. It's kind of sad to lack your parents' blessing, but excluding them in this way when you first gave them an opportunity might make them warm up to you when they realize the consequences of their actions.
It is not racist to want to mate with your own race and to have children and grandchildren who are of your own race. If you mate with someone of another race, your genetic line will end there. Your children will look nothing like you, or your ancestors. I would also encourage you to look up published information about racial differences in intelligence. There is a reason why one race left footprints on the Moon and another is still in the Stone Age. It is self-evident that there are big differences. They are also big physical differences, which is how pathologists are able to identify the race of a skeleton.
racism is born of ignorance so maybe if you let them meet him they may realise we are all just human. whether that works or not, your kinda fanning the flames by hiding him. you should be proud of your relationship and have no reason to hide it from anyone, whatever they may think. its you life.
Just tell them..."I'm worried my family wouldn't want me marrying a _____guy... but I'm in love with you... we're going to get married one day... and if they don't respect my decision to marry you, It's not going to change my feelings about you. They're racist, and they've been like this forever!!! We just have to show them... skin color shouldn't be a reason to hate a person... it IS truly what's inside that matters."
if you love him I see no issue your life is your life, not your family's just be strong and don't be a wuss, tell both sides the situation you are not in any wrong, only they can be if a family rejects you cause of something like that, you don't need that kind of family, you gonna have new one I'm not saying it's easy but in the end you gotta decide
What do you want to do? Do you want this relationship to survive or are you willing to let die? Whether you like it or not, it's going to come down to your boyfriend or your family. It's up to you to determine that. Just let your boyfriend know what's going on so he can protect himself from your family. It's not his fault he fell for you but he shouldn't have to suffer for it. It's not fair to him. You need to tell him.
Tell your family who it is that you're dating and if they choose to sit and meet with him then cool but I don't think it would be fair to blindside both your family and your boyfriend or one of the 2 options... let your boyfriend know how racist your family is and if your family is ok with it and your boyfriend is ok with it then you can go about the dinner/meeting
Fuck it, if you love him and he loves you, it's all good. They'll come to terms with it eventually, try to have a serious talk with them about it and what is specifically bothering them. Show them that he is different, and not what they think he is.