For someone my age; It's very very hard to find someone who actually wants a relationship. I've been through so many guys and childish immature men who want nothing more than sex. Recently I have been the "side chick" in some guys relationship, found out after hanging out with him! Or I am just a number to somebody's list of chicks they can "call upon". Why are guys like this? Do they think its okay to see multiple women and when they get sick and tired of one they pursue another and then when they get bored pursue another? It's just frustrating and just feel like giving up on men in general! I don't have extremely high standards but I don't go low enough to be a number or a side chick.
Not sure if its the same across all genders and ages but is it hard to find a relationship at your age or is it just me? Your thoughts?
Most Helpful Guy
I think society has degraded to some degree in that the behavior you noted has become not only acceptable but is being propagated. Players have training camps where they train guys to behave like this... take girls and discard them. They make videos of it to show others how to do it and write books.
In effect, they are building skills... which is good... but some are lying to the women... which is bad. Some women as well are playing the other side. Some people are honest about their intentions, and I respect their right to live as they wish (caveat below). But people who lie about it are wrong.
It is harder because where in our society are people being taught and trained to treat each other with respect, to work towards marriage, that is valuable and good?
The solution is to not give yourself away until you are married. If that is too much of a rule, then back off of that until you are engaged, or until you really know the guy well. You my dear... are part of your own problem...
That said... the more girls that fool around like that, the harder it is to find a male that will commit... why... because guys want sex and if they can get it without commitment... they often prefer that vs suffering in a relationship. Guys will take what they can get... abundance helps their self esteem.
Most Helpful Girl
Dont give up.
I understand completely what you are talking about but consider them lessons not blessings
i admire how you said i dont go low enough to be a number or a side chick.
it is the same across all genders.
In my opinion i think with the ease of access to the internet and the spoiled for choice custom order of a partner on online dating ( of which i have experience) is partly to blame.
people have pre conceived idea of what they are looking for... Hollywood doesn't help either.
I was dating a few guys and i was like... yeah its the one... and i was completely wrong
the way i look at it and it has dawned on me that they actually are lessons. you have learned what kind of man you want. you have learned you want a committed relationship and you are a committed person. your not a booty call. your not out for a fling. you believe time and effort is what builds something... all lessons brought to you buy guys you have described...
it will be frustrating but ya have to get back on the horse and try again. and again and again. depends on what you are looking for and how much you can be honest with yourself.
go with your gut.
You sound like a woman who knows what she wants so why settle for anything less than you know yourself you deserve?1