How do I reject this guy without him feeling bad?

I decided to try online dating today for the first time through bumble. However, as we all know a picture isn't necessarily going to clearly show you what someone looks like. Because of this when I got there it turns out I just wasn't attracted to the guy. I tried to still make the best of the night, we got dinner and saw a movie. I was friendly and talkative throughout the whole time because even if I wasn't into him he drive an hour to see me so I was hoping that he would still have a good time. I thought it went fine, I had fun, but it was nothing too special. When we said goodbye at the end of the night I think he wanted to kiss me but I just went in for a hug. Then he said we should see each other again and I unenthusiastically agreed. I'm hoping those last two things were enough for him to get the hint, but if not I don't really know what to do. I feel bad because he did everything right, I just wasn't into him. If he asks me out again it's not like I can be like sorry, not attracted to you. My friend told me that if he texts me I should respond but just not keep the conversation going or anything so eventually he'll get the hint without me being rude. I just want to see if people agree. For the record I'm in college and he's a recent grad.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You should not have agreed to see him again. That was a weakness on your part.

    You should have said, "I appreciate our date and I am glad we were able to meet, but I just don't see that we are a match. I realllyyy hope you find someone. Thank you again. Goodnight."

    Women way too often have a spine of jelly. That just confuses men because they say one thing and mean something entirely different.

    To make it up, the next time he contacts you say, "I've thought about it, and I just don't think we are a match. Sorry. Good luck."

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell him straight up that you don't want to be with him.

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What Guys Said 8

  • What do yo uthink about giving him 2-3 dates to see if it was just first impression? Or are you that confident?

    I ask as that is what a match maker suggests... in case the first meeting nerves or such get in the way.

    Would you see him as a friend or really, not at all?

    I'd rather the girl be nice and straight forward. Easier than playing games and reading minds and hints.

    "Aw thank you for the nice time. I thought about it and am not interested in continuing forward. I wish you the best though. You did nothing wrong, just didn't feel the connection."

    or the classic lie. "Well, I met another guy/prior boyfriend and we clicked well. I'm sorry, cannot."

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  • NO HINTS goodness there are already enough females that do this. Op as a guy, just be blunt, if you think he is going to be sensitive then sugar coat your words. Hints are the dumbest way, and most guys don't get that shite, and not everyone studies body language or sign language or whatever xD. Or actually go out again and say let's be friends and shit sometimes the best way to see the light is to embrace it. Meaning be friends, you may end up liking him after all and if that is not the case then keep it mutual or don't see him at all. Just no more hints, please. ^^

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  • Seriously, just be polite but straight up with him, we men appreciate that a lot more.

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  • trust me he's been rejected before and this will not be the last time.. just be blunt and then remind him he should go renew his man card because its expired =P

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  • Well I think you should just tell him whatever it is... Cause you will only be leading him on...
    Always be truthful.. It was just a first date

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  • Just be honest, And know you will probably end up regretting it in the future.

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  • Should have been upfront with him that very day. Don't make him keep hoping or hanging around like a dog... it's unfair torture so just be clear

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What Girls Said 2

  • Congrats on getting back together with your ex. I'm glad you two could work it out. It's too bad you have to tell that nice new guy you met online. Oh, well.

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  • No, don't just start to ignore him. Be completely honest with him about how you feel, but don't in any way be a jerk about it.

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