Why do people cheat if they love their partners?

Just trying to work it out? there's this man who tries his hardest to get me to cheat with him, as if I'd be second best to his witch of a girlfriend.. so I quizzed him on it, he says he is looking for excitement.. he's been cheating on her since he got with her..

so so when he told me he loved her I said no you do not!!

Makes me wonder, what do you class people like that? Narcissists, chancers, beta male/female.. A strong person would walk away from a relationship that wasn't exciting to them,
i don't know I just find it sick-- no I haven't went near him gave him the boot and I'm not second best to anyone or anyone's but part lol.. ESP to a silly little girl like her.

If if you've cheated and say you loved the person you were dating at the time, explain to me to make me understand?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • In many cheating situations, its usually just a small part of the relationship that is usually off and the person playing victim in the cheating scenario is usually uncooperative in fixing it regardless of how many times it has been brought to their attention. If the person loved you as well, they would take the time out to compromise, fix or at least hear a person out rather than abject refusal or rejection. That in itself is cheating and where it starts and they deserve whatever happens next.
    Anyone that feels because one aspect of their relationship is not satisfactory so they throw the entire relationship away... more grease to their elbows. that relationship may have be like 98% satisfactory but they are willing to throw all that away and start off at 0% again because one little aspect ain't right. Call it strength... i call it stupidity.
    There was a time where I did cheat because i thought it helped. Got my satisfaction AND kept my relationship... but later, i realized something.. some people that cheat try to solve the problem AFTER it happens and get their concern ignored... i give disclaimers BEFORE it happens. Meaning.. i tell her exactly what would happen should certain events occur. i call it preventative measures... that way, it doesn't come as a surprise when it does or she has the option to leave if she finds it unsatisfactory or unfair. There is always room to negotiate though, always.
    You say you can't tell someone you love them and then cheat on them... well someone can't tell me they love me but are totally unwilling to hear me out to fix or compromise on a certain concern of mine. They can bite the big one then.

    Then there are the regular cheater who just cheat for greed sake... those are the despicable ones. What irritates me the most is that they always get the kind of partners that are willing to work stuff out to maintain fidelity in the relationship.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If they truly love them then they won't cheat, the end.

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What Guys Said 14

  • This takes on a kind of biological approach to the subject:

    www.salon.com/.../

    It also has an interesting quote that aligns with my personal marriage:

    " It is, indeed, a familiar observation that the happiest couples are those who are occasionally separated, and the fact has been embalmed in the trite maxim that absence makes the heart grow fonder."

    I often considered the fact that I take business trips every few months helps our relationship. It often tends to ignite a flame every time I come back and we end up missing each other so much.

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  • I could feel myself being pushed away by my ex because there was no sex or affection or spark between us. The nail in the coffin was the fact that I repeatedly told her how I felt and she promised to work on it but never did. I never in a million years (or over ten years together, I should say) thought I would be even considering doing it (and I didn't, before you ask)

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    • that is usually where the cheating starts but many people are surface thinkers and never fully understand a situation until they are in it.

  • lots of reasons but the ultimately reason is they are scummy partners

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  • Some people get bored easily (hense need excitement). They shouldn't have got into a relationship with that person in the first place, but they did and are too afraid for whatever reason to end it. They think they can get away with a little side action and nobody will find out. Or, they aren't getting sex often enough (a common one) but they do love their partner and don't want to leave them, but they want more sex. Neither one justifies it, but that's usually the reasons.

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  • They could be separating sex and love: if you can have casual sex without feelings then it's possible to cheat without feelings, a bit like an open relationship but without permission from the other partner.

    Often it's something else though: they're bored and don't really love their partner that deeply anymore but it's easy to stick around if they can just cheat.

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  • www.truthaboutdeception.com/.../...ople-cheat.html

    or maybe just like drug addicts they are addicted to cheating... they don't understand the value of trust... what do you think about this question yourself?

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    • I think to hurt someone by cheating isn't love.. the person that claims to love the person is doin so knowing that if person found out they'd be hurt.. break the persons heart, once someone who has their heart broken will know to well it takes years or maybe never to fully recover.. I don't see how if you would prepare to do that to someone that u could love them..

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    • no actually,, she confessed this herself... else why would I even see her face I caught her.

    • If she cheats on u before u went exclusive imagine what she will be like when u actually date:.. go on ur gut instinct,. if ur gut tells u she will cheat on u walk away do not look back!! If ur gut tells u otherwise give it a go but proceed with caution...

  • They don't. If they really loved you then they wouldn't do something like that.

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  • Some people think they can "get away with it", like it's sport. Others are impulsive and wanna have "revenge". Some people simply don't think and some people drink too much.

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    • It's repulsive, hope they get a huge dose of karma--can't go through life hurting people and not facin the consequences

    • Agreed, but nonetheless it happens.

  • Boys cheat men don't. Simple as that.

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  • cos theree is nothing wrong with cheating.

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  • it means something is broken

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  • There's a small subset of people who are habitual cheaters, who do it for the thrill/excitement or a high need for multiple partners, or some issue with mixing sex and intimacy. It's a small subset, but they cheat habitually, so as a woman, you'll get propositioned by these guys a lot.

    Most people who end up cheating do so because they are unhappy, something is lacking, and they are unable to fix it but also for some reason stay in the relationship. They tend not to proposition anyone, rather their self esteem is down, and they are surprised when they fall into a situation where someone desires them and they want them back.

    This guy sounds like the former.

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  • It is the animal nature within... biology.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think that when people cheat it's usually more about themselves than about the person they are cheating on. They have some issues they need to figure out first before pursuing a relationship

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  • Because they don't love their partners

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