Should I let religious views come between us?

There's a guy that I really like and he really likes me (he tells me all the time). We've been in a "flirtationship" for over 3 months. So it's more than a friendship but less than a relationship. We have stayed up really late texting each other every single night for over the past month. I honestly can see us having a future together and he says he can too.

Just the other day, he said he wanted to tell me something but he was afraid to because it might fuck everything up. I asked him to tell me because I know we both value honesty. Pretty much he said that we have really different religious views.

My family and friends say that I should stop the flirtationship from going further because of this difference.

I would feel really guilty leaving him like that. I like him waaaay to much. But I also feel slightly guilty staying with him because I respect what my family says. I'm also afraid that our difference will come between us.

Please, does anyone have thoughts on this whole situation? I need help. I feel confused and I don't know what to do.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I look at it like this. You can respect your parents, but DO NOT I repeat DO NOT let them control who you think you have a possible furture with. Boy, has religion done a number on so many lives. You can still believe in what you want and he can do the same. It doesn't matter what you each beileve in, just respect each others views and, honestly, don't "force" your beliefs on each other that'll end badly.

    OP stick with the guy, if you love him and if he loves you. Don't let something like religious viewpoints get in the way of your endevours. My girlfriend and I, have slight different religious views, but honestly I like learning about hers and she to mine, there is no forcing our views upon each other. Even then I explored other religious views.

    Final thought: Appreciate each others views and don't let parents get in the way of your love.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It depends on the difference, but honestly, there is probably a reason why God brought the two of you together... It can strengthen faith...

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    • Thank you so much! This makes me feel tons better about the whole thing.

What Guys Said 12

  • I dated an Israeli Jewish girl for over a year. I'm Christian and I loved this girl more than anything in the whole world. We almost couldn't stay together because of her family. If you can make it work, do it. The jews are very tight knit and they keep it that way because of their history. Lots of religions understand how important this is.

    If he shows respect for that your family will grow accustomed to him soon enough. Their not going to stop loving you because of him and if he is respectful of you and your family, they shouldn't hold a grudge against him for very long.

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  • I think having equal religious views is very important in a relationship, unless neither of you really care about it, but it is often inherent to being religious to be keen about it.

    I could never spend more than an hour with someone religious. Having aspergers makes it very hard for me to imagine things that aren't true, so it would never work.

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  • Yes, you absolutely should let religion get between you if your faith really matters to you at all. If nothing else, think about the confusion it will for any future kids when you try to teach them about faith and morality and mom and dad can't agree.

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  • Religious views for couples go with the heart ! Look at mine plz? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2044358-girl-has-boyfriend-acting-weird-with-me-cool-story

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  • It depends on HOW different. If you're both Protestants but different denominations you can probably get along. If you're a fundamentalist Baptist and he's Muslim with two wives at home waiting for you, it might be hard see.

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  • both become atheists... no more problems on that end

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  • If you can make it work, go with it. Your family and friends aren't the ones with him, you are. Don't do something they want and make yourself unhappy in the process.

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  • Depends on what the two religions are.

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    • Our views aren't extremely different or anything. Pretty much I'm a Christian. And as far as I can tell, he is sorta a christian-agnostic.

  • Let it go. It won't end well.

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  • What are yours and his religious views?

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    • Pretty much, I'm more or less a Christian. I believe in God. He is not a Christian but doesn't doubt that there is a good. We both agree that Jesus is the Son of God.

    • That shouldn't be an issue.

    • Thanks!

  • What are the different religious views?

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    • We don't have specific views. I guess I am more or less a Christian--I believe in God. He is not a Christian but he does not doubt that there is a God. He's just 'waiting for a personal experience with Him.'

    • Show All
    • Yah.

    • Then your religious views can't be that radically different.

  • There are two things people take pesoanlly that can make relationships difficult:
    Religion and politics

    It's important that you find someone that either doesn't care too much or shares compatible views.

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What Girls Said 11

  • I've dated guys from different religions and uhrm lack of religions and it never worked. I value my spirituality more and need a partner who can build me up with regards to it. Plus, different religions brings a lot of obstacles to a relationship that you might not realize it even could. It depends I guess on how strongly you feel about your beliefs and if you could genuinely be okay with a partner being different and not raising your kids with your beliefs someday.

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    • Thank you for your opinion! I don't feel really strongly about my beliefs and neither does he. But we completely respect each other's beliefs. In fact, he respects my beliefs so much that he tries to build me up in them.

    • Well that's good to hear. If you don't care much about whatever beliefs you have then it obviously doesn't matter much.

    • Again, thank you!

  • I think as long as you two respect each other's beliefs and dont make it a point of contention within your relationship it should be fine. Sometimes it might not work if your values aren't the same and if you believe in different things and your behavior in your relationship is dictated by your religion, but that's not always the case. If you can accept his difference, and he can accept yours, then that's fine.

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  • Religion is everyones personal thing. It is really up to you if you take it so seriously that you can't take it that someone has a different religion! Your family can't deside that for you even if they would be super religious. You need to figure it out yourself: what do you want?

    Him or just someone with the same religion? Do you accept his religion? Is religion deciding who you love?(then, how can you love the wrong person?) 😂 sorry, got a little carried away with this

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  • Based off of what I read you're christian and he's christian-agnostic. So your view are far from being extremely different. It's not like (for example my boyfriend and I. I'm making this extreme) I'm a die hard atheist and my boyfriend is the full on christian in ya face kind of deal. You should be fine. It'll only affect you if let it.

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  • It would really depend how important religion is to you. If you both think that religion is a big part of your life and the 2 religions that you guys believe are different, that might be an issue.
    Since religion is something that no one should force upon another, that might be another issue.

    I'm an agnostic atheist and I don't think I would care whether my future SO was religious or not. The problem starts when he starts forcing me to believe in his religion.

    As long as your respect one another, I don't think it would be a problem.

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  • Your religious views are not different enough to stop talking to him. Maybe try inviting him to a Sunday service.

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    • Lol, what's funny is he goes to my church and that's how we met. His parents are Christian, he just doesn't exactly share the same views. But I can tell that through being with him, he is becoming more and more open to my religious views and is willing to give them a chance.

  • if both of you respect each other's faiths then why not?

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  • speaking from personal experience: it's not worth it. trust me. it won't work out.

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  • Well it can be fine sometimes if both people are respectful and open minded. My parents, one is Christian one is Muslim, it works well, they've been married way longer than all people i knows parents have even been together- more than 40 years. The Christian side of my family was unhappy, but they learned to deal with it eventually.

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  • It is inevitable in a relationship that religious views will become between you

    It's how you handle it

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  • You're under 18. This relationship won't last anyways so don't even worry about it

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