From the minute I was born until now it's been abuse. I often wonder what it's like to be loved, to be hugged and feel warm.
I once told a Man I loved him he laughed at me, he for a while made me feel I was loved but he was a good liar, he made me tell him I loved him on the telephone and him and his new girlfriend were laughing at me, I guess I gave up and decided if love was to be ridiculed I didn't want it but I do desperately. I grew up in a abusive household my dad would hit us quite it and name call, all through school I was bullied and even boyfriends thought it was ok to hit me, I feel I have victim written all over me in invisible ink, I really try not to play that card and remain as optimistic as possible, always trying to see the best in everyone and pushing my past away. I've never felt lonelier in my life, I don't have friends, I don't have a social life I just play silly app games on my phone to pass the time it go to work but inside I'm screaming for someone to notice me and show what it's like to be loved. Due to past experiences I have no trust or faith in anyone, i wait for the next bad thing to happen as I expect it to happen. Everything is so negative that I don't have the strength anymore to be happy.
Is is there anyone out there who has hit the bottom and found happiness?
Most Helpful Guy
Take it day by day. Rome wasn't built in a day. It takes time to progress from that state of mind. Best advice I can give you. Try to not expect the worst to come. Maybe get a pet? A dog I'd recommend they are loyal and always loving. You'll have something to look forward when you come home from work everyday. You'll meet a guy one day. You just seem to have been dealt a shitty hand so far in life. It will change but you have to help it change you should maybe try and meet new people. Maybe get someone to talk to about this. You'll have to build that trust and faith with anyone.0
Most Helpful Girl
The worst thing with people who used to be victims of abuse in the past, is that they constantly seem to chase people who will harm them (either physically or emotionally).
There are people like you who have found "happiness", but I think your problem is deeper and within you.
You should seek therapy.0