Would you date someone who has been diagnosed with a mental disorder?

Dating can be quite troublesome - even more so when you have a mental disorder or are dating someone with a mental disorder. There are many people that claim to have mental disorders but have yet to be diagnosed with one - this can lead to further misconceptions regarding mental disorders. The reality is that some types of mental disorders can vary in severity of manifestation but almost always have unavoidable negative symptoms which can cause sudden changes in personality or mood.
TL;DR Mental disorders and dating: Deal-breaker or nah. Would you date someone who has been diagnosed with a mental disorder?

  • Yes - If the mental disorder isn't too severe.
    24% (12)18% (9)21% (21)Vote
  • No - I don't think I would be able to handle it.
    12% (6)33% (17)23% (23)Vote
  • Maybe - Depends on the type of disorder and the person.
    49% (25)33% (17)41% (42)Vote
  • Yes - Regardless of the severity and manifestation of the disorder.
    15% (8)16% (8)15% (16)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's sorta like buying a car with a bad transmission. It's a nice car and everything else works, but you just can't get too far with it.

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    • hahaha That's a rather good metaphor. I applaud you on that - it actually describes most cases of dating people with a mental disorder accurately. Sometimes the car only has a dead battery. You can't afford to replace or fix it immediately so you end up keeping the car and saving some cash. Not all cases are 100% hopeless. It really just depends on the car and the drive of the user ~

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    • As someone who struggles with an anxiety disorder myself - I am truly happy to hear your wife got the help she needed. I understand your fear and worry seeing as meds aren't the complete solution but they do help bring relief to some of the symptoms. I think your wife will be just fine as long as she sticks to her treatment regime and has a strong support system. But I am so proud of you for not abandoning her in her time of need. The world needs more people like you.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I selected "Yes - Regardless of the severity and manifestation of the disorder." I have anxiety (generalized and social anxiety), my mom has PTSD, my brother is bipolar, and my sister has borderline personality disorder. To choose to cut someone out of my life because of a disorder would by hypocritical, to put it mildly. As long as they're seeking treatment, I don't see it as a problem.

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    • That is realy kind of you to say. I wish you and your family well for the future. I have been pleasantly surprised by the amount of understanding and supporting behaviour that can be witnessed in most of the opinions.

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    • I often have to be admitted into a mental clinic so that they can regulate my progress. Upon entering at this specific clinic the staff advise you not to make friends nor date fellow patients. This seemed rather odd to me. I kept analyzing different reasons to prove and disprove their belief but ended up exhausting my mental capacity. As they say - two heads work better than one.

    • Well, I can't speak for your clinic specifically, but the one where my mom goes often has dangerous patients. One was released from the hospital directly into police custody. They might just be trying to protect everyone.

What Guys Said 24

  • My first wife had borderline personality disorder. It was a horrible, wasted 17 years!

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    • That sounds rather unfortunate - but I'm sure you must have loved her to bits at some point or else you wouldn't have sticked around so long. Most people won't admit it - but the thought of dating someone with a mental disorder is rather fear-inducing. It requires tons of love and patience as well as the ability to accept that things might eventually get worse. Some people can accept that whole-heatedly - others find it quite difficult to do so. I admire you for being there for her for so long. You tried your best. : )

    • We had about 2 happy years and then it went downhill. Ultimately, she filed for divorce. As bad as it was, I never quit on her.

    • That is rather admirable of you. She was lucky to have you - I hope she realises that. I might not know much about you or your ex-wife but I feel the need to say "Thank you". Somehow it's encouraging to know that there are still some people who were willing to go the extra mile - even if it ended up hurting them in the end.

  • I have ADHD. It's not a case that handicaps me as much as some other people but I still have some disadvantages. I don't have the attention deficit part but have a bunch of other symptoms:

    Terrible self discipline and self motivation (always procrastinating), basically no organisation always a mess in my room and for instance notes for school or paperwork for other things is always disorganised and can be lost. I lose a lot of important things (it used to be terrible but I've gotten better it still happens from time to time though).
    Planning is bad and I don't really set goals and then achieve them I just kinda drift through life and only do something when I have to.
    I have hyperactivity but it's not that strong anymore it was stronger as a kid. Other symptoms I had were impulsivity ( lack of self control) just blurting things out without thinking sometimes, beeing extra reckless (resulted in a lot of injuries). Terrible handwriting and drawing (bad micro motor skills)

    My mom helped me out a lot as a kid and I made it through the highest level of highschool in Switzerland that allows you to go to any university in the country. I compensated for my weaknesses with participation in class and learning quickly, I didn't really have to study much. The problem was, there was no more structure like in high school. All my weaknesses were laid bare and I just crashed and burned. I wasted a lot of time because I was lost, I didn't know wha to do next.

    I only found out about the ADHD some months ago. I have been to appointments with a doctor but I still have to wait a bit until I get to see a different doctor and then they'll do tests and shit. Anyway I'm trying to get my life back on track but now that I'm trying, I feel how screwed up I actually am. Before when I was just doing whatever I wanted I didn't notice it, but now that I have a bunch of responsibilities and obligations it's easy to see I'm not like other adults.

    I'm 26 but in certain areas I'm not a grown up. I don't think it would be a great idea for me to date a girl who has a disorder herself that would probably end in disaster. I'm not even fully capable of dealing with my own problems so adding someone elses on top would be bad. I think I need a girl that's organised and responsible :P. That doesn't mean I should stop getting my shit together becoming more independant and organised myself but it would still be better.

    I know this was a great advertisement for myself ;P

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  • That depends entirely on WHICH mental disorder. Something like OCD, anxiety, or ADHD? Wouldn't even give it a second thought.

    Something like autism, schizophrenia, or psychopathic tendencies? I don't think I could do it...

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    • Yeah - It's my personal experience that people are less likely to enter a long-term relationship with someone who has a more severe mental disorder as apposed to a less severe one. Though even OCD, ADHD and anxiety can be quite severe in some cases.

  • NEVER! Tried it twice and wasted 6 years of my life. As people age their mental condition will likely get worse. I hope any of you that said "yes" never try it. Next to dating/marry a schizophrenic id' say Bi-polar is the absolute worst condition to deal with.

    Your happiness is completely based on her ability to stick any treatment her Dr prescribes. Probably the only time in my life i've wanted to cry from dealing with another's illness.

    Ill be friends with them but never intimate.

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    • I can respect that. I agree that it can be quite mentally and emotionally challenging when the person refuses treatment or simply neglects it. You tried your best though - for that I applaud you. It is rather nice of you to say that you would still consider being friends despite your negative experiences. Thank you for that.

  • Depending on how severe of it, sure.

    I already struggle with depression and anxiety, have several friends with it worse than I, more friends with other disorders such as schizophrenia and personality disorders, and family with other disorders.

    As long as it isn't too severe, I'd give it a go. It's dating for a reason and will give us both time to see if it can work out.

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  • fuck no... my ex wife was bipolar and refused meds... 6 years of my life gone and she took fucking everything id worked my life for...

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    • That sounds horrible. I'm really sorry to hear that it ended badly. Does this mean you would never consider dating someone with a less-severe mental disorder like mild-OCD perhaps?

    • OCD is not a disorder to me lol.. so ya i probably would..

    • Mild-cases might not be as bad, however, severe cases of OCD are rather troublesome to deal with to say the least. I'm sure most people are fine with mild-forms of mental disorders but they tend to draw the line when it enters into the more severe-types - understandably so.

  • I could deal with depression, because I have that too, with a touch of PTSD.
    Other mental disorders, such as bipolar, not a chance.

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    • I can respect that. It's been my personal experience that most people are willing to deal with mild mental disorders when dating but they tend to keep their distance when it comes to the more severe mental disorders.

  • Tried with an Aspie once, NEVER again.

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  • Don't stick your dick in crazy.

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    • “Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.” Crazy can be considered a relative term. That being said - don't stick your dick in anything with a label attached to it. It's rude and rather degrading.

    • How about this, then: I had a close friend with BPD. Her whole life fell apart over the course of about six months and I ended up being the one person she could rely on. However, this also meant I was on the receiving end of all the rage and stress from what was happening to her. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done, keeping it together so I could help her keep it together too. In the end, she ended up moving away and has started a new life where she's a lot happier (and I'm very happy for her). I don't think I could handle it for a long-term relationship, I have a lot of respect and pity for @OlderandWiser for what he must have gone through with his wife.

    • I like your second opinion more. It's more honest and less angsty-rebel-teenager. I admire you for the sacrifices you made for your friend - it must have taken a lot of endurance and courage. It is rather tough - you never really know which way it's going to go until the end.

  • I'd like to think I would, but I don't know. I would certainly help them get help, so that they can get better.

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  • Been there and done that more then once
    I'm open to it
    I love all kinds of people
    Besides I'm not perfect myslef

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    • I find it rather interesting that you've had so much experience and are still willing to enter a relationship despite knowing how straining it can be. I believe there is no human on this planet that can pass as perfect - yet we often strive to be. Ironic don't you think? It is really kind of you to treat all people equally in regards to dating.

    • Thank you and I agree
      I've dated three people who had relatively major issues
      I'm friends with countless more
      I've loved or do love all of them
      Life is a beautiful thing, I want to share it
      With everyone
      Even those who so often can find the beauty in their own

  • It really depends on the person i would do my best regardless.

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    • That is rather kind of you to say. It is always nice to hear that someone is willing to try their best. Thank you so much for that. I am sure if you ever do manage to find yourself in such a relationship - that person would be lucky to have someone like you by their side.

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    • It is true that we can never truly understand exactly what another person might be enduring, however, we can try our best to be understanding and supportive. Would it be rude of me to ask what mental disorder you have? It's admirable that you don't let it interfere with your social interactions with others.

    • Well i mean sometimes it does really i have to step away like just this past weekend my grandmother passed away so i had to fly across the country and meet a whole bunch of people. Social gatherings put a strain on me but i am able to be courteous none the less. I just step out and breathe for a bit and then go back in.
      I got diagnosed with major depression, mild ptsd, panic disorder and anxiety. I have gotten rid of 3 of those symptoms so far for good but i am still working on the last as it is the crux that started the rest.

  • No, because women are crazy enough as is. I couldn't handle a person on PMS with bipolar or anxiety. It's like a vampire with werewolf syndrome.

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    • I respect your opinion. It is understandable that it would be too much to handle. As I've stated in a few of the other opinions - mental disorders can put a large strain on the relationship depending on the severity. Milder forms of mental disorders are more tolerable in the long-term - a mild case of OCD for example.

  • Yes.
    I can still love someone with a mental disorder.

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  • I like some of the other answers quite a bit haha. Yeah I would generally stay far away from crazy.

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  • Everyone who said, "yes" . . . you have no idea how impossible it is to marry a deep-end schizophrenic. Some disorders are manageable, but others are nearly impossible. . . and those that are impossible only get worse with time.

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    • Thank you for highlighting the most important aspect of this poll. I was hoping people would eventually come to this conclusion. Would they date someone with a mental disorder despite knowing that the relationship was doomed from the start? People have certain limits. I just wonder how far people are willing to push their limits of acceptance before they draw the line.

    • My mother is paranoid-schizophrenic. She breaks down and enters into the mental hospital at least once every year. As I've grown up, she's only been distancing me, my brother, my father, and herself from friends. Her hatred for everyone in the world, including her family, only grows more and more. The only reason that she and my father are still together is because she relies on his money (she has made that very clear verbally) and my father is too nice of a person to leave her (even though life is extreme hell with her). To those people who thinks it is possible to love someone that crazy or that love conquers all, I have bad news... when the brain is fucked, it remains fucked until you physically alter every neuron (a complicated science that we have not yet figured out).

    • I'm truly sorry to hear about your mother. My father had his own set of mental disorders as well - and I am fully aware of the challenge of trying to keep a family together when every second together seems to be an individual war on its own. I'm proud of you for being brave enough to accept the truth of what a relationship with someone with a mental disorder truly entails. You are correct in stating that love does not always conquer all.

  • Fuck that noise. No. No and not ever. I wouldn't even date myself if I wasn't neurotypical.

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  • I can't throw stones in this department

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    • Am I to assume you can throw stones in other departments, Mr. Flintstone? Haha

  • I would. I'm mentally disabled myself!

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  • Deja Vu - Been there, done that, never again.

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    • Bought the T-Shirt hah? I can respect that. It's quite challenging - since it can put a large strain on the relationship.

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    • Ah I didn't see. I'm rather new to the site. I do apologise for the deja vu. Bipolar disorder is rather difficult to deal with - I agree. If someone perhaps had OCD but other than constantly spring-cleaning in winter the symptoms aren't too severe - would the person still be regarded as a deal-breaker for dating by you?

    • Probably not OCD.

  • Like an actual mental disorder? Not just ADD or some shit? No

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  • I think it will be fun <3

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  • Regardless of the severity if I genuinely love and care for her I'm sure I can handle it.

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    • It's easier said than done. I admire your passion and determination but the human mind and heart can only handle so much before it eventually cracks. I do think it's rather kind of you to be willing to accept the person wholeheartedly despite the possible flaws the person may have.

  • I voted D. I'm prepared for anything.

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    • I admire your confidence but I doubt that you are quite entirely ready for the trials and tribulations of dating someone with a severe mental disorder - maybe a mild one.

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    • They aren't permanent. Therapy and medication doesn't work and never will. It all depends on the soul within the body.

    • Lets agree to disagree on the statement that therapy and medication does not work. It is, however, true that a persons' "soul" or rather their approach and mindset does play a large role in the management of a mental-disorder.

What Girls Said 11

  • It really depends on the disorder entirely! I've seen and been with someone who had a minor disorder and I've seen and heard stories of others which their disorder took over their lives and made everyone around them miserable so it depends.

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    • You're right. The severity of the disorder plays an important part in the duration of the relationship, however, its part is slightly diminished during the consideration of entering a relationship. "Love is blind" - sometimes people bite off a little more than they can chew.

    • I agree, I walked into it blindly not realizing how bad it could be!

    • Though even if it did end badly - at least you gained experience and a broader understanding of the human mind and it's limitations. : ) Always look at the bright side.

  • i voted c, though what i really mean is "yes, as long as the person is actively seeking treatment".

    i have anxiety and ocd, among other issues, but am actively managing them with medication and therapy. my boyfriend/future husband has been my #1 supporter from day one and, though he doesn't always understand it, he makes the effort to (and loves me nonetheless).

    i did once date someone who was diagnosed as clinically depressed (though i suspect he may have had bpd or bipolar disorder), but he refused all treatment and opted to drag me down with him instead. between trying to shoulder the burden of both of our issues, the relationship drained me to the point that i could no longer function, and i was relieved when it ended.

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  • It's very sad the number of people who said no. The fact is that 1 in 5 people have some form of mental disorder. You can't paint everyone with a mental disorder with the same brush, because there are so many varying degrees of it. Everyone has their crosses to bare in life. I'm just happy that I found someone understands and supports me, even though I have an anxiety disorder.

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  • Depression: tried it, was terrible. I made the mistake of thinking I could fix him.
    Autism: I've slightly liked a slightly autistic guy once. We're close friends now though, but I know him and some others well enough to know I could easily deal with them.
    Borderline: seen it cause absolute disasters.
    Eating disorder: think I could do that.
    Others: no experience, dunno.

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    • People often enter a relationship believing they can "fix" the person. It isn't possible to "fix" someone but it is possible to support them - which can often help improve their symptoms or stability.

    • I tried that but he kept dragging me down instead of pulling himself up. When he added extreme jealousy to it - trying to keep me from seeing my friends because it made him jealous if someone else made me happier than he could - I got out.

  • I would.
    I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety last year and I had a boyfriend and he helped me through that hard time so much.
    I would be willing to be that person for someone else.

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    • It's always easier to make the decision to date someone with a mental disorder when one understands what the other person is going through. If the person, however, triggers your anxiety/depression - would you still be willing to stay in the relationship?

  • Yes I would :)

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  • Absolutely :)

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  • I can't till I figure how to deal with mine.

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  • no, too troublesome. i have date men with serious anger / jealous problem. It was diagnosed like a mental disorder and it was really a pain in the ass

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  • A man will date her as long as she is pretty

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    • Same with women pink anon.

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    • Physical appearance may lead to initial attraction but it does not play a large role in the intention to date someone once the person is informed of the others' mental disorder.

  • I have been with a couple of guys who had bi polar or depression and I will say, absolutely never again. They will use it as an excuse to treat you badly and get away with poor behavior. Last man I was with was an unmedicated bi polar and I always got to feel the wraith and chaos from him. Never again.

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    • Did you make a relationship with all of them?

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    • @Dexamethasone thank you and you're right and agree with you. Anyone can be mature or immature at any age. I've always found it ironic that older people will say to act mature then they will act immature as well 😆 Some people I tell you.. Lol

    • Hehe yeah I know, by the way do you want to private message because there are many messages here in the post? :D

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