When in a relationship is it ok to tell someone they cannot talk to someone if they have a history?

Given that they never cheated and are not talking all the time or being inappropriate?

  • Yes and they should respect it
    43% (13)35% (8)40% (21)Vote
  • No they are allowed to talk to who they want and you should trust them
    57% (17)65% (15)60% (32)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. If you are trying to TELL your partner what to do, you have a much larger problem.

    2. You don't have the right to dictate what your partner can and cannot do and trying to do so leads to a bad relationship. However, you do have the right to say that you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who maintains contact with an ex.

    3. You did not say what kind of history your boyfriend has with this female. If they have had a sexual relationship in the past, it is not unreasonable to ask that he break contact with her. If he resists that request, I would be suspicious of his motives.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have never understood why someone would want to be with someone whom they felt that they could not trust. What will telling them to stop talking to that person do? If they really want to, they will find a way.
    I would never date anyone who I couldn't trust to cheat on me or whom I felt had no self control in the event that another girl hit on him. I want someone who wouldn't even think twice about it, and I wouldn't settle for garbage that I had to keep my eye on to make sure he didn't do anything.
    Trust is vital in a relationship and without it, there really is no relationship. If you can't trust someone not to control themselves around other people, you shouldn't be with them.
    Also, you are only in charge of yourself and cannot control what other people do, and have absolutely no right to dictate who someone associates themselves with. You either take someone for who they are or leave them, but you don't get to control their life.

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What Guys Said 11

  • I'm not comfortable with them talking to exes, but I'm no one to tell them who they can and can't talk to.
    I would expect that she wouldn't talk out of respect towards me.

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  • Exes are exes for a reason. I don't know why some people keep them in their life. Move the fuck on. Nothings gonna change stop holding onto the past. If you ever want a healthy stable relationship you can't be friends with your ex. You should only communicate if you have a child together and then again it should be civil behavior. Not texting and talking like your pals.

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  • you can't tell anyone who they can and cannot talk to, that comes across as controlling and not respecting of the other person or showing you trust them (that and hopefully you two are adults about your relationship). you can tell them how it makes you feel when they talk to their exes and you can ASK them not to talk to them but to TELL them... no thats controlling.

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  • Wouldn't really tell them not to, but I wouldn't be ok with it. People are so sketchy in relationships

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  • You can't stop them - especially not when, as you say, they are not cheating or being inappropriate.

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  • they are allowed to talk to whoever they want

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  • Express your concern, don't make silly demands if you don't fully know what you are talking about.

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  • The fact they have to be told that is a massive red flag already.

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  • Never. Lose the trust issues.

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  • It's never okay, to be honest.

    You don't own them, you're not their boss.

    At most you can ask them, and explain why you feel this way.

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  • Yes and they should respect it

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What Girls Said 12

  • It's not okay to set rules for your partner, at all. You shouldn't treat your partner like property, they are not your property, you can't set rules for them.

    That includes telling them who they can and cannot sleep with, date, etc. by the way. Monogamy is bullshit

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  • You can express concerns about the situation, but it's never okay to tell your partner what to do that way.

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  • Exes? Unless they have a child together; no. Do not approve.

    - Tis a no no.

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  • That just screams insecure control freak tbh...

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  • Honestly, I really don't believe in a friendship after a breakup but thats just me. If I breakup with someone, I don't want to speak to them on a friendly note if I'm with someone else. Its just disrespectful for the person I'm with.

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  • I mean if I'm being honest, it would bother me. But I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it.

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  • well i think you can ask them, but you can't force em.

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  • It's ok to ask but it's also ok for them not to do what you request

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  • Never? Lol

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  • Who the hell is anyone to dictate to another, who or who not they can talk to.

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  • Yes and they should respect it

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  • When I say so

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