How can I bring this up with my boyfriend without looking stupid?

He has been at his job for 7 months now and as the months pass he gets more and more "comfortable" with these people. I put comfortable in quotations because its more or less way too friendly. He works with mostly women, which is fine. However, there are now two women who have seemed to spark up quite a bit of tension between him and I. The first girl Connie has been an issue since day 1. When she started working there he would come home and tell me how this woman had started calling him pet names and was always throwing things at him or grazing his back with her hands to get his attention. The second girl has only recently became a problem. She added him on social media and has become more and more active on every single post of his. Commenting on and liking almost everything. Now this girl, Alex, doesn't really bother me as much. I question it sometimes but its mainly insecurities on my end, if I'm being honest. I truly don't believe there is anything but friendship between him and her. But the girl Connie, she got my boyfriends number and is constantly texting. Asking him if he needs rides or what he's doing later. I've seen the texts (he doesn't know) and he has not shown any interest but she has. Even making comments repeatedly about how her and her boyfriend are not working out. When he doesn't respond the way she wants she will bring it up again and fish for compliments. Either he's oblivious or he's ignoring it. Its starting to really piss me off though. She also stalks my Facebook and will make conversation with him about my posts later on (she is not my friend on social media). I have attempted to make peace with this woman. I have tried speaking to her on the occasions of me going to his work for whatever reason and she looks down on me and nervous at times. I have also tried adding her on social media as well, because she's stalking me anyways so I thought what the heck. But she declined my friend request. What's the deal with this girl?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Aw how nice he made several female friends. Relax if something was going to happen it would have happened by now. If you want to bring it up with him act pouty but a cute pouty and when he asks you why your acting that way bring it up with him. Don't act angry about it because that will put him on the defensive.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • So in my point of view, the issue is not just from this girl, I will be honest and say that it's probably that your boyfriend has to do something with it too. First off, you said his working environment has a lot of girls, and you are fine with that, with this sentence, I took it you understand what may happen between those girls and your befriend, you are a girl too, and you know girl dramas. It's true that you may have to deal with your insecurities, but where your insecurities from? They are all from those girls talking or being in contact with your boyfriend. And why did that happened? It's because your boyfriend allowed it to happen. If a man is in a serious relationship, unless he got no experience at all, he should know he is obligated to try his best to make you feel safe and secured. Why did he give out his number to the girl? Why did he accept those social media request? Why didn't he simply tell the girl that he got a girlfriend and tell them to "keep the hands off" him.. Here and there you may want to communicate with him too. Tell him directly it's getting uncomfortable for you and you don't want this girl to ruin the relationship, tell him that you trust him but it would be better to not talk to her. And how the deal of this girl, I don't know, but you and your boyfriend know the best. Just talk with your boyfriends, if he cares, he would understand, and don't be scared of looking stupid, aren't the best relationship is being the most natural self , good luck with that. :)

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    • He didn't give her his number. She got his number from the office board to see if he would cover her shift and she has been contacting him ever since. The only time he does reply is when it is work related. I should have probably pointed out that the girl whom added him on social media also added me as well. That's why I know its simply an insecurity issue on my end when it comes to that girl specifically. However, upon going to his work he's very quick to run over and give me a hug and kiss; hold my hand, etc. He doesn't hold back or make it seem like there is any issues whatsoever. Its just this girls behavior is throwing me off. When I arrive she will stop and stare at us but then act nervous if I approach her. She will also go out back and just about disappear until I have left. Almost like she knows she's in the wrong and scared of me bringing it up. But he doesn't act any differently around me when she's there.

What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like you need to deal with your insecurities.

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  • Nothing to worry about.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yea, I've been in environments at work with hardly any men and mainly women, and most of the men get this kinda attention. It's just down to him how he reacts. At the end of the day, if you got a good looking boyfriend or one with a nice personality... heck even if he's ugly and shitty lol... there will be times girls like him, it's down to how he reacts when they do it. And he seems like he has reacted very well so far. If she gets too much, he will just need to tell her to settle down.

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