How come girls never respond to my messages online?

Many of them view my profile when I send a message, so I know they read it, but rarely do they respond. I have fairly decent pics, but I wonder if I'm just not that attractive at all? Usually i'll send a well thought out message that asks about something written in their profile, but this still doesn't help.

Updates:
Say for example she has a picture of a horse, I'll compliment her horse and ask her how long she's been riding. "Hey there, that's a cool horse, how long have you been riding?
Or what got you into riding horses?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Being Online sometimes isn't all that Fine, @rwd324, for it seems you almost have to "Weigh" every Word that you Say.
    Perhaps it isn't your Pix at all, but How you Approach and even Broach a First Time Impression Saying. Say something Simple like a "Hi, how are you?" Tell her own Profile Pix looks Great.
    With Changing things a Bit for you with another Bite, this "Horse of another color" deal Could pan out better for you in the Long Run in Getting to know someone or at least Getting them To... Respond.
    It's Sad to Say but even a word such as "Riding" can be a Misunderstanding Today.
    Good luck. xx

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Either keep being patient or call it quits. Because there are Absolutely NO guarantees whatsoever that they will ever respond to you because they get bombarded with large volumes messages from other guys that aren't of quality that they may start ignoring them all or start deleting them all entirely. Other times profiles are simply fake and fabricated or dummy profiles or catfish profiles, and this is especially on the free online dating websites.

    Therefore don't soley rely on the internet for dating. Do Not put all of your eggs in a single basket.

    Go out there in public and work up your gut to talk to women and girls. Malls and Shopping Centers, Libraries, Gyms, Groceries Stores, Coffee Shops, best to talk to groups of 2 or 3 of them at the same time. Don't be so nervous and just be chill about it. And don't focus so much on shit like rejection, since that's completely unavoidable.

    Learn the whole concept of game and picking them up, shit like instant dates, being spontaneous. Invite them to go eat or drink or do something fun with cha, you have to give them an incentive and create an incentive and interest for them to go chill and hang out with you or dine out with right there on the spot.

    Day game is ideal for beginners compared to try to pickup ladies at the bars or nightclubs, dance clubs, etc., besides night game is mostly for hook ups anyway, and if that's not what your looking for learn about daygame how to have and hold interesting conversations and capture the attention of women or girls during the day. Exchange numbers, etc.

    It won't be easy, but like I said earlier, Don't Put All Of Your Eggs In A Single Basket.

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What Girls Said 17

  • Women on dating sites (and ones like this one) get a lot of messages from guys just like you! I mean we get A LOT of them. So many that we get to sort through hundreds of them and respond to whomever we deem best worth our time. Which means we're not going to respond to every dude that compliments our horse photos. Don't take it personal.

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    • Well I mean I do get messages returned, but I have to send out about 50 messages to get one back.

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    • Ah, I see. I'm probably just stating the obvious but try writing to girls who are about the same height as you and you might have better luck.

    • Oh I do. I stay in the 5'0''-5'4'' range, which is most girls anyways. That girl was like 5'2''. I think not dating a guy because he's short is about as shallow as turning a girl down because her boobs are too small.

  • It's a good start to be actually reading through their profiles and putting stuff in your messages that reflects that. As to why they aren't answering back, well it really depends. Perhaps they are not interested, or maybe they have already met someone and have made a connection? Perhaps a friend of theirs made the profile and it's a big joke for them? There are plenty of people who are not serious about finding someone and think online dating is a joke. But I know several people who have met their SO's online.

    You just have to keep trying. Eventually someone will message you back. I find it tough too, even as a woman. I know a lot of people think women have it so much easier. But I have sent many messages that went unanswered. Or even had guys tell me they were in relationships, yet still kept their profile up? :S

    I think online dating can be incredibly challenging. But you just have to find a person who is open-minded who doesn't think it's a joke.

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  • If I get messages on here, I rarely respond to most people. I invite people to message me after I've commented on a question because I want to help them. However, people who ask me to answer their question do not get a reply (because I choose which questions I answer) and people who message me "omg you're so hot" (I'm not here for romance reasons) will be ignored.

    Generally, I reply to people if I want to talk to them or they say something different to me. It has nothing to do with looks, it's whether I want to actually speak to them.

    Sometimes, it comes across as trying too hard. When I say something different, I mean don't just look at my pictures and go "oh nice legs" or something because ANYONE can say that. Messages like "I saw your response to so and so and I agree" are far more likely to have me reply.

    See what I'm trying to say?

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  • Personally i think there's nothing wrong with what you describesd but how about you try a differen approach fir a change. try not thinking too much send a message like you'd do your mate without an intention of impressing her and then build of from that coz you don't want start if HEAVY it weighs down on her. Hopefully i helped... Good luck.

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  • They could be shy or shallow. I personally like having conversations with a person to try yo get to know them. I have done the profiles and sites and I get lots of views, but not a lot of comments. When I do get comments, they are pleasant to a certain extent and I will respond, but if I feel uncomfortable or not interested... then I will simply move on without responding. By the way, this is coming from a very shy, but nice person. Also, yes picturescan say a lot just like a personality and description. My picturesare usually really good, but my profile is hit and miss. It depends on the person who is viewing you and what they think. Don't give up! Just try to maybe do things differently and see the different results and/or reactions, etc.

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    • Do you use online dating or something similar by the way? :D

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    • Hmm okay gonna check it but since there are many messages here, do you want to private message me? I already followed you :)

    • @Dexamethasone just message me on my posted question for right now

  • Some people might think you just want to bone her and some might think you a catfish swimming in the sea with nemo and dory.

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  • Ask her to show you how she cowgirls 😂😂

    Jk jk

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  • I'm not going to sugar coat it. It's less about the message and more about how boring your profile is. If all you have to to say is "i like doing things outdoors. My dog is awesome." you're not gonna get a lot of interest

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  • Could be your approach or they just aren't interested.

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  • I do it, if I'm not interest then I feel that I don't need to response to his messages if it not going to go anywhere because I don't like him that way.

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  • It's probs not a matter of a girl not thinking your attractive, but usually when guys send random messages to a girl without knowing them it's kinda creepy, and usually means they are trying to get something out of them. Ik that if some random guy I didn't know messaged me, I would think that they would want nudes or something. But that is just how I would feel.

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  • Many just aren't interested.

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  • Maybe it's what you say.

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    • No, please don't say things like that, it might feel good for you to think that there was something wrong with the guys you reject (or ignore or never got around to talk to) online but it's simply not true. His self-esteem is already hurting and it's 99.9% certain that he's not doing anything wrong, it's just the f*cked up nature of online dating that would make Casanova himself doubt he might be ugly and has no social skills.

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    • Yes, I know about the "wanna fuck" messages, the uninspired "hi" messages, the dick pics, etc... but I think it's really a cop out to assume that the typical guy who has bad luck with online dating and crafts a grammatically correct and respectful question about it here is one of those weirdos. He's literally asking why he doesn't even get responses to his initial message (which shouldn't have to be a literary masterpiece, just to warrant any response, and nobody would expect it to be in a real life meeting), not why he doesn't get marriage proposals online. The majority of men on online dating sites are decent men but it's the nature of online dating that screws them over, there's nothing they can do about it. It's really no different from a girl in a bar only getting approached by guys who just want sex: she's not doing or saying anything wrong, it's just the nature of meeting people in bars that's screwing her over.

    • @JohnDoe3000 Im not sure what you are rambling about, I am not here to agree or tell you why people behave as they do, I merely gave my suggestion as to what might be the reason he doesn't get responses.

  • A guy sends me a message, I gotta see what he looks like before I respond and what his life is like.

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  • I don't want to be an asshole, but it probably is because you're ugly.

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  • Your profile may need tweaked. There could be red flags or not enough info on it.

    If you're getting this response, I'd say it's time for an overview. I know this dude who is in all honesty, pretty geeky, and he went from nothing in a month to several dates a week when he livened his profile up to be less generic, replaced the webcam pic with some fun ones, etc.

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  • What's on your profile?

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What Guys Said 28

  • It's not that you are not attractive it's that they have already gotten that message a hundred times. The point of a message is to get their attention not take a genuine interest in some stranger you have never met. Save those for an actual date. I would of said, Hey I will make you a deal, I will go out on a date with you if you pick me up on your horse. This message expires in 24 hours. The goal is to make them laugh for a few seconds... if you get a reply with a LOL or HA HA HA you are in. Try it. Don't be afraid to ruffle some feathers. You need to be different.

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    • Lol the asker needs to be orginal in his convo starter lines! 😛

    • I think this is good^ Yeah, cause the example i read is one that I get a lot of. If I had a picture of a horse on my profile I am pretty sure every single guy would comment on it or use it to start a conversation.

  • #1) Online dating is a waste of time. You'll have an easier time attracting better quality women in person. You just have to have the balls to start a conversation.

    #2) If you are going to do online dating, you need pics of you looking good, and having fun, and being masculine. A simple picture of you smiling at the camera is boring and won't get you very far.

    #3) Don't ask the same lame boring questions that every other guy is going to ask. Read her profile and then make an assumption about her based on her personality. Something funny and or flirty. Even a generic cold reading will do.

    For example, "I get the impression you're a bit a small town woman. I can totally picture you in a plaid shirt and long boots". No questions, no ass kissy compliments.

    Then she can respond "haha yeah, I totally am! I love to wear boots. I grew up out in the country in..." or "haha, occasion I can be! I can rock a plaid shirt every once in a while. I actually grew up in New York city...".

    Once the conversation is started then you can ask questions, but a good conversation doesn't need to rely on questions. Questions are just one of many tools for making conversation, and asking a question is not always your best way to get a conversation started.

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  • Ah online dating? where it's about 100 guys per girl?
    Lets say you live somewhere where it's around 1guy to girl ratio, all is well in the world, people have some standards but not outlandish standards, because most of them can't afford to.

    Now lets say you have 100 guys in the town of Sausagefest per each girl.
    It's bordering on not being worth it trying to find someone there. The average girls become world renowned super models and most of those guys are sending her messages that she's the reincarnation of Jesus Christ. So she gets more of an inflated ego, it would be the same way for guys, if you have tons of hot girls throwing themselves at you and telling you you're Jesus, you're going to pick the hotter ones and depending what you're looking for.. The more interesting ones as well.

    So basically you're trying to compete with a bunch of guys/girls who HEAVILY filter and edit their pictures, get professional ones taken and take waaaaaay too many selfies, also some of them are likely going to be more appealing. So if you post a regular picture you're already at 50/100 (combined with looks).

    Now they have tons of options so lets say your message wasn't interesting or different from the other 1000 messages.
    15ish/100
    Now one of your interests or something on your profile may be insignificant, but when you have enough options they can afford to just say NOPE.
    5/100 is around a realistic amount who may respond to you haha.

    I get flirted with IRL, but I don't even bother with dating sites. I CBF to edit pictures and I don't really care that much to write a well thought out paragraph to someone I've never met, may never see or talk to again, just to get a response.

    TL;DR Odds aren't going to be in your favour. Most dating is heavily based on looks, people did a catfish experiment with fake model pics and got a bunch of the opposite gender messaging them, surprisingly girls initiated a lot with the guys, even though it's such good ratio girls don't need to initiate. They also got SUPER salty just like guys who don't get a reply, it was kind of funny to see.

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  • Oh boy... Don't fall for it: you are most likely not ugly and would do better in real life than online, just like the majority of men. The second you, as a man, take online dating serious you're going to get your self-esteem destroyed. Men outnumber women by a lot online and men online are often desperate, this fluffs up the egos of women online to the point where you have to look like Ryan Gosling and be a millionaire to even be considered a candidate by an uneducated fat woman who's 5 years older than you and has 3 kids by 3 different dads, and that's if she's even read your message between the hundreds of messages pending in her inbox.

    For a man online dating is a complete waste of time unless you're over 35 and have no other options.

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  • OK, here are your problems:

    *"i'll send a well thought out message that asks about something written in their profile"
    *"I have fairly decent pics"
    *horse (don't bother with horse chicks. Ever.)

    If you're not "magazine cover photo shoot ready", or you look like a violent felon who was recently released back into the wild, then your pics suck and you shouldn't bother with online dating. Unless you have money, and you make it obvious you have money.

    A pic is worth a thousand words:

    i.warosu.org/data/fa/img/0067/80/1377686083466.jpg

    Basically, if women don't throw themselves at you in real life, you shouldn't bother with online dating, because it's even worse for men.

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    • I agree. The few horse chicks I talked to on their were fucking crazy, but that was just an example.

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    • @posted

      Yeah, there are a lot of them where I live too. When you eliminate horse chicks, single mothers, fatties, and post-Wall women, there's not much left.

    • And all the single mothers are super salty about guys only wanting to bone too lol.
      If I was just looking to mess around I might go out with a horse chick for a short time but nothing more lol. I don't think it's worth trying to find a real relationship in online dating, too many things make it likely to fail.

  • They're too busy talking to me

    3.bp.blogspot.com/.../tom-cruise-sunglasses.gif

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  • Is this a dating site - I think you are caught in the numbers game - I have heard there are many more men than women on sites so she is probably getting lots of messages - My advice is keep plugging away and eventually you will make good contact with someone.
    If you have the time, there are lots of takes here about dating sites, have a look through them for advice and tips but I personally feel it is mainly a time and luck issue mainly.

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  • Because they are messaging other niggas.

    www.searchquotes.com/.../...0811_000542_3tiq82.jpg

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  • Standards skyrocket for women online. IRL it's only the guys with confidence going after them. They receive probably 50 times the messages an average looking guy gets per day. Then factor in bots and women just on there for an ego boost. Online dating is largely a waste of time especially the free websites.

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  • You could do everything skillfully and still end up with nothing to show for it. There's a certain element of luck to online dating. Actually, your odds might be better of winning the lottery. If you do that then your odds of succeeding at online dating would probably go up :P

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  • these girls their mailbox is saturated with messages probably. i would suggest taking a different approach, a place were women are not saturated with attention they receive from men.

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  • because most of the girls online are precocious self-absorbed brats

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    • the attention they receive just serves to feed their egos - even when it's really hot guys, they don't give a fuck.

  • I don't know, what do you send them?
    I always get a reply back

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  • Because they have millions of options , men don't !1

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  • port ur pics. the ladies here will sort that out real quick

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  • Because they are shy.

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  • You're probabaly unattractive.

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  • Well I won't even put it on r and just delete it before reading if it's from below 7 chick too OP

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  • ur profile has some basic info on it, and if its not align with what there looking for they move on the 1 of the other 100 guys that sent her a message.

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  • The most probable reason would be that... YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY GUYS SHE IS GETTING MESSAGES FROM.

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  • Gay.

    Ask them what Pokémon Go level they are. Or something not shit like every other dude asks.

    You're the generic dude they receive 27 messages from every day.

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  • That also happened to me dude , we handsome guys are unlucky

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  • Give up on online dating. It is a waste of time for men. It is clearly biased towards women.

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  • You need to have someone write you a better profile and I'm not sure how you are messaging them or what you are saying in it

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  • It just mean they dont find you attractive. Thats how online dating works really

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  • I've always had a problem with girls not replying to my messages , even messages I felt were legitimate and a genuine attempt to communicate with them. they read and then just sort of ignore or wouldn't bother to say anything back to me and a lot of these girls I did know from real life and had talked to at bars or around town where we live , I just couldn't get anything out of them online

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  • Alright, give me some examples of messages you send. Copy and paste them, don't try to paraphrase them

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  • they only like black guys

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