Guy coming back after ghosting? How should I reply?

[Anonymous]

So I had been seeing this guy for 3 months and it was getting serious, he was even looking at places for us to go on holiday together in summer, until one day he just disappears completely and doesn't reply to my messages. It's now 3 weeks later and last night he messaged me twice, first saying "hey :)" another saying "sorry for ignoring you that was a dick move". Obviously I still like him and he was amazing to me up until when he ignored me so I don't know what to do, what should I reply? (I'm 17 he's 19)

[futuredk]

This is something that I tell ALL my female friends whenever they are going through it. I have also done this myself. As Guys we almost ALWAYS come back. why? A few simple
Reasons
1. It takes longer for realization of certain things to hit us - we were an asshole for no reason to a nice girl for example and sometimes we are genuinely sorry.

2. Easy sex- if you slept with a guy in question at any point if they come back around (reason 1 is applicable as in its used as an excuse) it's see if you'd be open to sleeping with them
Again. And since it's already happened we'd see it as much less challenging.

3. Lack of options - the precursor to reason 1-2. While dealing with you a "better" option could've come along so they ditch you for that but if it doesn't work out they come back. Or they're going through a dry spell.

This guy honestly sounds like a fuck boy. Be wary

[lumos]

I agree, especially with point 3. Like who knows, maybe another girl caught his interest for those 3 weeks and he started chasing her instead, but that ended up being a dead end and he then decided to go back to OP and act all sorry for ignoring her. But really he didn't "learn" or "realize" shit, he was just busy fooling around with someone else that ended up not working.

[futuredk]

@lumos exactly!!

[Asker]

thank you, your answer was really helpful. An update: I replied to his message saying "true" which he replied saying "how you been", sent me a message saying "heey:)" on another social media platform and likes some of my old photos. Do you think if I ask him why he ignored me he would give me a truthful answer?

[futuredk]

Not unless he decides he no longer likes vagina. He will lie his face off if it means staying in your good graces. You can ask but you probably will not get the truth.

[Asker]

haha that's a good way to put it, suppose it's worth a shot seeing as when we dated he swore he always tells the truth even iff it means being brutally honest but I don't know, thank you for your help :)

[futuredk]

You're welcome !! I hope it works out

[lumos]

You shouldn't reply with anything. Move on. If you reply and forgive him, you'll only show that you're ok with him walking all over you and ignoring you for weeks/months on end, and that he gets the chance to come back to you whenever he feels like it. It was getting serious so he probably couldn't handle it, thus decided to ghost on you. It's a clear sign that he doesn't do commitment and that he's not worth your time if you want something serious.

[snjokorn]

When he was ghosting you it is likely that he was:

1. dating other girls.
2. Getting in a short lived relationship with another girl.
3. Wasn't ready for something serious.

The reason for him contacting you:

1. Other dating options failed.
2. He knew what he missed out on.
3. He wants to be flirting with someone.

It is all up to you whether you want to hook up with him again. But be careful!

[Asker]

thanks, what should i reply to get him to tell me the reason? Also he messaged me like 3/4 in the morning so I think he might have been drunk?

[snjokorn]

oh no, girl if he is texting you in the morning he was drunk and looking for easy sex.
Or he was hoping for that as an excuse to contact you.
Don't answer him, if he really wants to talk to you, he'll try again!

[Anonymous]

I'd ignore him and keep your dignity.
He ignored you because someone else most likely had his interest and now he's bored and lonely and falling back on you!
Ghosting is an immature behavior and it shows lack of respect and communication skills. You deserve better!! And by giving this guy another chance you are telling him it's OK for him to treat you the way he did, because he will then know you'll come around again.

[Anonymous]

I agree that it sounds like a booty call, sorry.

If he contacts you again, (before 9pm) maybe you could answer and ask him what was going on. Keep it casual though, maybe something like "I'm just curious, why did you ignore me for 3 weeks?"

After that it depends whether you think he is genuine or not.

[Anonymous]

https://youtu.be/NU8-nsUnAbo

[CuriousAndCreative]

You need to find out why he did that. He could be toying with you.

[uhhihello]

Say "what's up" just be a little less enthusiastic.

[Anonymous]

Do not Reply to him if he was ghosting you it sounds like he never wanted to be a part of your life just saying

[lightingrod]

Ask him, where you been? Or why did you ignore me?

[cth96190]

If you like him, ask him for an explanation.

[MadLife]

I wouldn't reply

[Sadie_G]

Move on to a new guy

[Anonymous]

You ignore the prick

[Anonymous]

Ignore

[Anonymous]

don't