Is it true that people with a fear of intimacy are more likely to push away someone who is actually good for them as opposed to someone who is not?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think people who fear intimacy, whether it be because of trust issues or other wise, will push people away because they don't want to get hurt.. they guy or girl might be great for them but they are afraid of falling for someone and putting their heart out there and potentially having it hurt... I guess maybe for some it might just be easier to go with the I know they aren't good for me so I won't get to attached so if things end out going sour, I won't lose as much or be hurt as much.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah its way of feeling closeness or not feeling alone without risking getting in too deep.

    A person can be with people who are bad for them bc they hope or expect to lose them, and it doesn't matter if they do lose them. bc the were bad anyway. and being with people they dont really want will keep them from being with someone they want and getting attached. they could also just be alone but even people who fear attachment can still get lonely. so there are ways they trick themselves into getting closeness yet not, at the same time.

    its like some people who have food issues... some just dont eat, some people eat very little, too little. some people eat and throw up. some people only keep food they hate around so they won't eat much of it...
    all of this avoids any real commitment to food. which they need and n some level desire but want to reject. or are paranoid of or makes them feel sick etc.

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What Guys Said 2

  • No, that is a myth.

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  • I think you would be more apt to push everyone away not just the people who are good for you. If you are afraid of intimacy I would not think you would go looking for it in a person that is "bad" for you versus a "good" for you person. Is it intimacy you are fearing or something else? Is it the closeness of another person, sex, relationship, that you are scared of? I pushed people away from me not because I was scared of intimacy, but because I knew they were not the right person for me. I do not know if I have helped or not. All I can say is examine why you feel you fear intimacy. Ask yourself what it is that causes this? If you cannot come up with an answer on your own, I would suggest seeking a professional who could help you.

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    • point is you can be with people who are bad for you bc you hope or expect to lose them, and it doesn't matter if you do lose them. bc the were bad anyway. and being with people you dont really want will keep u from being with someone you want and getting attached. you could also just be alone but even people who fear attachment can still get lonely. so there are ways they trick themselves into getting closeness yet not, at the same time.

      its like some people who have food issues... some just dont eat, some people eat very little, too little. some people eat and throw up. some people only keep food they hate around so they won't eat much of it.

    • all of this avoids any real commitment to food. which they need and n some level desire but want to reject. or are paranoid of or makes them feel sick etc.

What Girls Said 4

  • It's definitely true. I tend to push away any guy who might actually be good for me.

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  • I have never actually heard of this idea before. It sounds stupid. I don't mean to offend anyone. But I don't think this is true.

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  • I'm having this sort of predicament right now, unfortunately.

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    • How so?

    • It's hard to explain. Intimacy is not just about physical. You have to read my posted question and responses to get an idea. Maybe you can give me your take.

  • Yes , I don't know why , but yes !

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