I snooped through his messages and found something -- now what?

I know that I shouldn't snoop through my boyfriends stuff -- but I did. I went to use his computer and his facebook happened to be up. So I read the facebook messages with a former coworker of his that I think are inappropriate. There was nothing really indicating that they were actually doing anything, but the texts were flirty and a little sexual. I know these texts could be an inside joke but I'm really upset.

If I do confront him, there's a chance he will get mad at me -- but what if this is nothing? If I don't confront him this will drive me crazy.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Let it go for the time being! You are forewarned, so keep an eye open! Look, listen, and learn. Eventually, either your mind will be at rest, or you will find something nasty in the cupboard. Bide your time and all will become clear.

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    • Thanks for MHG!

    • I did end up telling him what I did. I was starting to feel uncomfortable around him... I also mentioned it to a friend of ours and she also mentioned how uncomfortable SHE felt knowing.

      So I had to come clean.

      Everything went better than I expected... like way better. He said it was all just joking around and that's how they've always talked. I also told him that sending photos even as a joke crosses the line for me. He said he won't do that again. I believe him.

      He was actually more concerned that I had told the friend rather than just telling him first.

    • All well that ends well!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Just keep an eye on it and don't confront it, he will turn it on you for looking through his stuff, and that will look bad if it really is just jokin around:( he's with you for a reason so I wouldn't worry too much Hun.

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    • Thank you for the least harsh response. I do feel bad for looking...

What Guys Said 3

  • lesson number one... dont go through a guys private shit
    anyway if i was you right now i think you should admit what you did and ask him about it else you will go crazy like you said but also you will drive him crazy too.

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    • He sent a picture of his junk to her. That crosses the line for me.

    • so tell him, not me but you must know that you crossed the line too. that said i do hope you sort it out with out hurt or shouting.

    • Not sure what is stressing me out more -- telling him that I snooped, or confronting him. I assume this will end our relationship.

  • your evidence was gained in the wrong way.. too bad

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  • First, let him go through your facebook. Then, you can confront each other at the same time.

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    • What would that do? there's nothing questionable on mine.

    • Show All
    • Inappropriate.

    • Well, first, you should have said that in your opening statement. Personally, I find there is a bit of a difference between dick picks and "a little sexual" messages.

      Secondly, you should confront him. Keep your facebook to yourself, but make sure to mention that you have little to no respect for him as a human being and you believe he has not earned a right to privacy.

What Girls Said 3

  • Take this as a lesson why you should respect people's privacy and not go snooping through their shit.

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  • You went looking and you found something. That shows a lack of trust, which is what you should be more concerned with. So when you confront him, be prepared to address that as well

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  • Break up with him.

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