Is a confession letter a terrible idea?

So I decided I'm going to try and tell my best friend (of 5 years) that I like her. But this is going to be the most stressful and nerve-wracking situation of my entire life, as it no where compares to any of the other girls I've asked out.

See we've been best friends for so long that we're used to telling each other everything but i've kept my feelings inside and I can't really take it anymore. Though I feel like this should be done in person I know I wouldn't remember everything I have to say, and I wouldn't convey my point properly.

I've written out a very very long letter to her (10+ paragraphs?) and I'm considering giving it to her before I leave after we hang out (I'd be gone when she read it). Is this a bad idea? I mean I have a really well written letter that eases into my point, provides explanation, and then tells her that I'm fine with just being friends so whatever she decides is okay. But I don't have anyone to talk to about this, because I always had talked to her about girls.

Thank you for all responses, It's much appreciated!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is a sweet gesture, it shows you care enough to write 10 paragraphs about her that's really nice however telling her in person is honestly so lovely to hear, I know it's harder to say it in person and eaiser to write to her but it's really amazing to hear it in person. I know there were times when I wish I could just give my boyfriend my diary so he knows how I feel but I told him in person, it was also so much nicer to hear a respond faster and see theyre reaction

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What Girls Said 4

  • I think at 17 thats an alright idea. You get to make sure you have said everything you intended and she will get time to comprehend and think about it all which prevents her from being put on the spot. I feel like waiting for a response from her will be rough for you. But I say go for it. Definitely tell her either way. Good luck!

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    • That's what I was kinda thinking, and at the end I tell her that after she reads it and thinks about it we should meet in person and discuss it. We just mean so much to each other that it would be unfair to force a potential life changing decision in a small amount of pressured time.

    • I agree. I would hate being put on the spot like that with my guy bestfriend when I was younger, because I would have been embarassed first off, and I would need to think without him hovering over me. Unless she has had a super secret crush on you too, she will need to process all of that.

  • I think you should write her a letter telling her how you feel 💕💞

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  • Just tell her in person!!

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  • I thought no til I saw your age. It is a thing guys your age do so it's no big deal for now. Do it. But you'll feel like shit if she doesn't feel the same and just ignores the situation and never talks to you about it, which she wouldn't be able to do if you told her to her face or on the phone.

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    • That won't be an issue, we've been each others best friend (with no one better) for 5 years now, we tell each other everything. She's either gonna want to work out how we can have a relationship, or help me figure out why I'm not having feelings for her and resolve those and keep being best buds

    • I say do it then. A letter is sometimes easier on both sides. Less awkward for both. You'll know her better than anybody though, and will roughly be able to guess how she'd react to a letter instead of face to face. Some of the advice she's given you in the past on girls should give you a rough indicator too.

What Guys Said 3

  • Grow a pair and tell her in person

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  • tell her in person dude...

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    • I know, I should, but I absolutely will not be able to say everything that I want to say, and I don't want to throw her into an uncomfortable position.

      Belive me I'm always advocating for in person encounters- but I don't think I can do it in this situation - The stakes are just too high to mess up

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    • See we both mean so much to each other that this isn't going to be an easy decision for her. Heck it took me a month to come to my conclusion, I just don't want to force her to rush to an answer- you know?

    • she does not need to answer now but read it in front of you and tell her to think about it

  • Please don't write a letter

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    • can you explain why please? I'm trying to evaluate the pros and cons of the situation.

    • because dude she won't read it, and if she does she will freak out because you're confessing your "love" to her. The best thing to do is tell her you like her/got the feelz and hope for the best and expect the worst.

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