I can't handle life?


Hi, i am very depressed... i am 24 and i never experienced teenage love... i was depressed during that period and i wore a brace from 12 to 16,5 and then from 17-20 i became depressed and isolated myself... i missed out on a lot and because of that i never had a serious relationship and now i am sick to my stomach... no one helped me out and my mom just kept saying go to school... i am very depressed be ause. of this i feel like i missed out on life... what am i going to tell my kids when i grow up... and why did i let my life pass me by? for years i have been sick because of this... i still live at home by the way...

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2 answers ยท Psychology


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Modelina, your situation may be more common than you think.
    In more than a couple of ways, I lived through a similar situation from the male side of the fence.
    What I recognise in your post is that you almost certainly have a major depressive disorder that requires medical intervention. I can say that because I have such a condition, but it was not diagnosed until I was 41 years old. Until then, I thought that it was normal to spend time every day contemplating suicide.
    In the most gentle and caring way possible, I would urge you to have a conversation with your GP and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist.
    That does not mean that you are insane. It means that you may have a problem for which a psychiatrist is the most appropriate medical professional. They are trained to diagnose and treat that sort of condition.
    Please, Modelina, seek that professional help.
    You do not have to live with the degree of pain and sadness that you are experiencing now.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I too have depression. I'm 19, never had a boyfriend, have very few friends and missed out on a lot of things. I've had depression since I was around 8 years old.
    I'm in a bad place right now but I guess I can give you advice on what has helped me to keep going.
    I have never seen a doctor (I don't know if this has been a good thing or a bad one). I've found out excercising makes me feel better (you release Endorphins that help you feel better). It also helps me with my insecurities. I look better when I'm fit and healthy, so also have a healty diet.
    Try to reach out, it's really hard, I know, but it pays off. I've noticed that if you act like you're happy long enough, sometimes you start feeling it.
    I'm not saying you need to shut down what you feel, that's a terrible mistake I made when I was younger and it led me to a horrible period in my depression.
    People are attracted (not just sexually, but also to be friends with) people who are happy. So it can help you make friends.
    Find someone you can talk to, either a doctor or a friend. It's important to talk about what you feel, or you can get overwhelmed.
    ALWAYS try to do something new or that makes you happy, every day. No matter how small it is. Listen to music that you like. Go for an ice cream or for a walk. Enter a new interesting store, joing a gym...
    And you can tell your kids how there's people out there who have this ILLNESS, and it's really hard but it makes you strong and compassionate and teaches you to enjoy and apreciate the little things in life.
    And about finding someone to date... I don't really have an awnser haha. Guess we'll just have to wait and see what life has in store for us ;)

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What Guys Said 7

  • Go out, make friends, have fun. You might even have some stupid fun with drinking and narcotics involved if you really feel like you're missing out, though that might give you some really bad experiences as well.

    You end up feeding your insecurities and missing out on all the fun out there, right at this very moment, if you just reflect back and grieve over all the experiences you missed. It's when you get bold enough to get out there and actually experience them -- experience first love, experience your first kiss, experience having friends, experience being invited to parties, experience having a job -- that you start living life instead of regretting it.

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    • I went through the same thing as a result of being the new kid at school every 2-3 years (my parents divorced and I was bouncing across different countries with shared custody). It became impossible to make friends since I'd be saying goodbye to them permanently the following year or two, switching schools, and having to learn a new language/culture and starting over again with friends until I got tired of it.

      Assuming you don't have a serious psychological problem (for which this advice could be very wrong if you do), I overcame that feeling when I just went out there and overcame my anxiety post-university.

  • You still are young; stop complaining and start living

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  • You're worried over nothing. Stop living retroactively or you really will miss out on life.

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  • You probably saved yourself trouble to be honest.

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  • Antidepressants can help you about depression and social phobia.

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  • I can relate to a lot of this im liveing with my parents and siblings as well and about to turn 24.
    If you drive then go to networking groups related to where you want to work ie photography club if you're an artist or want to be , try to find work maybe try to date and if no one you like messages you then try messaging them. if you don't drive there I think there are road legal vehicles you don't need a licence for iv seen a couple out who drive a golf buggy down the road a few times.
    I do things other than just look for work directly and work on my portfolio.
    Its tough but doing things to get out now and then definitely helps you get through it.
    I go to the gym a local engineering club and i'm trying to date with more emphasis on the trying part at the moment. It's tough no doubt about it but if you can then find things you can do with other people.
    Ideally things that match your interests.

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  • Realize that you are still way too young and you have a lot of years ahead of you to catch up with what you feel you have missed. I know a lot of people who used to struggle with similar issues but have flourished later on in life.

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What Girls Said 5

  • You had this brace from 12 to 20, and that would be only 6 years out of your childhood! Though you didn't experience much as a teenager, you have plenty to tell your children about when you were a child. As for now, you should go to school, get a career, get off your ass and experience adulthood. And by doing that, you can meet someone and move out. So stop moping around and do something about it.

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  • There are so many things that you can do. You can go back to school, go to community college or a university to experience those things. You can see a therapist about your depression. But, talking to someone is just thw first step. If you need to talk a little more, please feel free to message me. :)

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  • Maybe instead of dwelling on the past, focus on the present moment! Don't even look at the future! The present is really all we have!

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  • You need fo find a therapist.

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  • Talk to a doctor. He/she can help you and point you in the right direction.

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