Bad timing starting a relationship. Coming back soon, but he has a new potential girlfriend. How to keep the friendship when I'm still interested?

I met a guy online and we hit it off quickly. By two weeks into dating, we were very close and pretty serious. Problem was I was leaving for two months for a theatre contract a month after meeting. He didn't want to do long distance. Upon talking, we decided to leave things open, stay friends, and consider getting back together when I come back. The week after (the week before I left) we ended up hanging out... and still having sex and doing couple things...

I have now been gone a month, but we text every day. We talk on the phone twice a week. He bought me a book as a present. He called me before leaving for a trip since we wouldn't get to talk while he was gone much, etc.

But last week, he went to a wedding in Nashville. And met someone. Now he flew out for a week to LA where she lives. (We are both from Chicago). To his credit, he told me quickly so that he wasn't hiding anything. Said he was "in LA with someone he'd been seeing that he was starting to get a bit serious about." But I don't understand how he is willing to do extreme long distance that fast. Not to mention, heading out across the country after knowing someone a couple of days seems quick!

I've been gone and month and will be back in one more month. We want to be friends. And he wants to hang out when I'm back. I do, too. I legitimately want to stay friends. But a part of me is struggling because I like him, still. And I truly felt like he liked me, still, too. But me going away so soon into the relationship was bad timing.

I don't want to try to break them up. Because I want him to be happy, and that is just not cool. But I'm the one who will be in Chicago with him. He's a close friend. I want to maintain that, but until he's official with her, I don't necessarily want to rule out the possibility yet.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I am sure you are a gorgeous Girl who can find plenty of guys
    It sounds like he doesn't want a serious relationship because if he did he wouldn't start seeing another girl and then say i just want to be friends.
    Men and women cannot be just "Friends" if they have had sex.
    My advice is be straight up with him. Tell him how you feel. If its a bad response than just ignore him for a few weeks. Contact him again and if if is really interested he will come straight to you.
    It seems you want to be friends with him incase he changes his mind about being in a relationship with you. You are hopeful.
    I know its hard but keep yourself busy whilst you are distant from him for a while. Good luck


What Guys Said 1

  • Seems like you are setting yourself up for disapointment.


What Girls Said 1

  • Why would you want to be friends with someone you have feelings for? That is torture for most people.