Guys, This is going to be an unpopular question but here goes: How do you nicely encourage a girl to lose weight?

There's this girl I matched with on Tinder and have seen around college. She's really into me and even added me on facebook. Now the thing is she is VERY overweight but has a stunningly beautiful face and seems like a nice person. The problem is I am very into fitness and want to be with a girl like that as well. Is it possible to encourage a girl like her to go to the gym with me without hurting her feelings?

P. S. I know Im gonna get a lot of hate for this question but i can't change my preferences. And let's bare in mind that being extremely overweight is not a good thing

Updates:
by the way I mean I want to encourage her after we start dating (if it gets that far)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's sad that I have to go anon for this, but people usually care more about appearing caring than about actually helping people (the girl is on Tinder and therefore it's safe to say she'd rather want a way to have a boyfriend/sex than have strangers telling her she's beautiful while she stays alone and celibate), so here it goes...

    You can tell her straight up the only issue you have with her is her weight, that you love everything else about her and that fortunately her weight is something she can do about (which is way better than getting rejected for something you can't change) and that it'll make her more healthy at the same time. You could offer to date her while you go on activities that you always enjoyed and that will help her lose weight. Even if she's offended and walks away from you she CAN choose to take your advice in the knowledge she could score guys like you if she loses weight, she could also choose to binge-eat her sorrows away and get even more overweight, but that's her choice...

    Or... you could not tell her but find a way to get her to join you in those activities and eat healthier... Maybe that will work, maybe it won't...

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What Guys Said 21

  • If she just had a bit of tummy pudge, then I'd say it might not be too hard to help her get in shape.

    However, if she is as overweight as you say she is, it will NOT be an easy process. She has most likely already tried everything countless times, and she is either cursed with slow metabolism, has no self control, or just lacks the time, money, and willpower it takes to lose all that weight.

    I'm not telling you to avoid her just because you should spare her feelings, but also because even if she agrees, it could be a several year process. Are you willing to waste that much time on a girl you werent even attracted to in the beginning?

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  • Well, you could suggest working out together.

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  • You don't. All you can do is encourage her to join you in fun healthy activities and cook htasty healthy portion controlled meals for both of you.

    If you try to correct her behavior, you'll lose her. If you would rather kookiest a thinner woman, break up and do so. If she's fat, she's going to stay fat until she wants something else more than she wants to do what she's doing.

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  • Easy peasy. Get her involved with your fitness routine. Walks at first, lots of encouragement, "wow we did two miles!" if you two hang long enough her diet will fall into place. Talk about you fitness plan/routine as if it's a hobby you dig. Don't be preachy. go slow then talk about foods as if you've found out something interesting, like "did you know that colas contain High fructose corn syrup?, but in Mexico and in other places its sold with pure cane sugar? WTF? are they trying to poison us?

    You get the idea

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  • you could just ask her at times when you are going to the gym if she wants to go with you.

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  • I honestly don't know how you can be attracted to an overweight girl, I don't care how beautiful her face if she is even slightly overweight I will never give her a shot, I won't be mean but the attraction isn't there.

    You're only option is honesty, it'll probably hurt her but just say that you're only interested if she is willing to lose weight working out with you.

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  • You dont have a right to, until you actually date her in my opinion. After that you can encourage her.

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    • That's what I mean.. I want to know if its possible to do that while dating

    • Yeah sure its possible, but i would wait until you are actually in a relationship.

      Encourage her to do activities with you, biking, swimming, jogging etc. Basically find some kind of physical activity she ENJOYS. Then you can modify her diet to match yours to, show her healthy doesn't mean bland or tasteless (avoid pre-prepped meals if you're doing that). Show her pictures of women who have lost 30/40 lbs as motivation.

  • Just invite her to active dates, biking, walking, bowling, hiking camping etc. Avoid the movies, Netflix and chill, etc.

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  • You date her based on who she is right now, not who you want to change her into.

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  • Have all your dates involve eating light meals, exercising intensely going to health food stores, promoting fasting and saying no to excessive treats and sugar and avoid doing lazy activities like sitting home all day watching movies etc. Just dont say it directly. I think that will work best.

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  • Just invite her to go to the gym and do more active things with you, it's not that hard. When you go out to eat, just ask her to go with you to restaunts that are healthier. Essentially you subliminally encourage her to become a healthier person by hanging out with you. Don't talk about health/fitness too much or you may scare her off, just invite her to do healthier things

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  • Just tell her to go lose weight.

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  • PIGGY! Nash, hahaha, I don;t know

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  • Encourage her for health reasons. After all, if she doesn't care about herself then how can she truly care about others?

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  • Tell that bitch to hit the gym attach a donut to the end of a plunger

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  • Tell her to do situps. Actual situps, not pussy 'crunches' with her neck. If she refuses or even hesitates dump her immediately, or better yet never date her in the first place.

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  • you could try the compliment sandwich. Tell her something good about her, then tell something bad about her, and then end with something good about her

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  • Talk about how good health is important. Invite her to do active things together. Share any struggles or goals you have about weight. Don't make it about her... or make her feel like shit.

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  • take her on a date... to the gym... 3 times a week...

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  • Don't mention her weight but say going to the gym alone is boring and it would be fun if she joined.
    by the way. some people can't change their weight with fitness/diet because of metabolism and other reasons. I for example have the problem that I can't increase my weight no matter how much I eat and I am on the lower end on normal weight so I it would be nice for me.

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  • keep bumping into her and apologise but say its her gravitational pull.

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