My long distance boyfriend would rather play video games than talk to me. What do I do?

Question

So today While I was doing some chores my boyfriend texts me "hey baby" and so we talked for 7 minutes. I was done with chores so I had nothing else to do so when he asked me if I was doing anything I said "nope, which means I have time to talk :)" (since we barely talk). And then he said "I wish I was with you" which to me was like that amazing feeling you get inside of you but then he said "but since I'm not I'm gonna go play video games" and then he left, which left me with that empty feeling in my heart and I just literally started bursting into tears. I really love him but I don't know what to do. I'm about to leave on vacation in 1 day and I won't be able to talk to him for 10 days since I'll be with my family the whole time so I'm thinking maybe that and literally saying that him playing so much and only talking to me 7 minutes a day is a problem and that I'm upset about it. But I don't know if I should do it. What should I do? We've been together for 3 months now. I'm 17 and he's 18 by the way. Thanks

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

You need to accept the reality that LDRs don't work. Ironically, you even mentioned 3 months - as I've said in many previous posts, 90 days seems to be as long as most people can maintain the energy and effort needed to maintain a LDR before they start to lose interest.

Very simply, the effort vs. reward ratio is skewed heavily towards EFFORT with very, very little REWARD, and that just isn't sustainable for most people - in fact, only those who are SUPER committed and willing to put in great effort and make great sacrifices over a LONG period of time can make it happen, which usually means the success rate is barely 2-3%.

You tried, but it shouldn't be a surprise to learn that you are in the 97-98% whose relationships couldn't survive the separation, and not in the 2-3% who could.

Learn from this painful lesson and in the future, break up if things go LD. You can agree that if you move close to each other in the future, and are both single, that you'll date again THEN, but go ahead and break up and live your life like you never expect to see them again (don't stay single just on the empty hope that something might change - it's a waste). Chances are you WON'T ever get together again, but it's okay to leave the possibility open, as long as you don't put your love life on hold.

You should also write in your journal 1000 times: Long Distance Relationships DON'T WORK!

homies · Accepted Answer

U have to have to have to tell him. A number if things could be going on, maybe he really wants a break. im not saying its a good decision but it sounds like it may be a possibility. He may also be chossing videogames over you, the truh is that u never know whats going on until u ask and he tells u.

lumos · Accepted Answer

You dump him. Clearly he's not emotionally mature, nor does he have what it takes to be in a long distance relationship if he thinks playing video games is more important than spending some time communicating with his girlfriend. When communication IS all you have in a long distance relationship. He's neglecting the ONE thing he can do with you. That says a lot about where his mind and heart is at. Sorry.

Zendrya · Accepted Answer

you tell him what you feel. LDR's will never work without open communication.

RandomBritishGuy94 · Answer

Play games with him. They all have microphones.

If he doesn't want to talk to you that's a large sign something is up. talk to him about it... I'm sure saying "there's a problem" will get anyone remotely interested to pay attention. If not it's probably over.

JudgmentDay · Answer

I think it is time for you to go look for or to get a new boyfriend, LOCALLY.

If he really wants to play video games, then he will play them, because you can't control him and what he wants to do, such as make him NOT play them, have you realized that yet?

Anonymous · Answer

I have a friend that is older than you and is to my knowledge still married and has the same problem. Her husband is in the Navy and does the exact same thing you boyfriend is doing to you. She finally got sick and tired and walked out on him, and went back to her parents house in California. Eventually she will have to come back here when he deploys, but you have to take a stand against that type of abuse.
I have a PS 4, but it does not rule my life. I don't play it every single day all day. That get boring after a while. If I had a SO in my life I would much rather spend time and money on her than a video game. If she bought one for me/us that would be fine. It would be something we could enjoy together.

xXJustinXx · Answer

I would have said something like that as a joke. If he really did stop talking to you after that then you might not really have that good of a relationship. Video games are fun, but if a guy chooses video games over pussy then he's bored of that specific pussy. Might be time to look for a new boyfriend, or wait til college when everyone's dtf

Miezko · Answer

You should talk to him about it, talk not blame. That's important. I'm sure you're feelings are important to him and I doubt he meant to make you feel that way. If you guys talk (not fight, just talk) I'm sure you'll be able to work it out.
Also, I had an idea. Play video games. Then, you guys can talk while playing video games, most games are online and allow for multiplayer, you both had nothing to do, so why not, and most games allow for chat.

NoJoke · Answer

LDR is the most hurting and annoying in relationships so just avoid bieng in one

i had been in two actually and in both of them im heart broken and felt so empty and i'm lately out of one after she stopped communicating with me and asking about me
i was about to travel to her in 2 months but too bad she seems she's bored of me? lol

you still 17 so just dont get into ldr relationships especially if you can't travel and pay hotels and food and etc...

WhereAmI · Answer

It could be worse, i work with one girl who's boyfriend broke up with her because he was too inteeesred in playing fallout 4.

That said, he's obviously clueless about your needs or doesn't care. Give him the benefit of the doubt and let him know you wish to spend more time talking with him.

LivingstonePHD · Answer

you're young and having a long distance relationship two of the most incompatible things. guys dont really talk about how their day went they want to do something constantly and after awhile you run out of things to talk about either you have to go visit him or you need more space between making contact to make things interesting or interesting events to happen

MustangGod05 · Answer

I'm confused. Your profile pic is of a guy, but the question was asked as a girl.

Seems you might be more confused about who you are than about a guy that wants nothing to do with you.

Move on. It's over.

joseyyywhales · Answer

Long distance relationships for long periods of time almost never work. But the guy just wanted to play some video games. Doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. Try to make it work if you care about him, leave if you don't.

meatballs21 · Answer

You need to spend time together for a relationship to work. However you also need time apart to pursue your own interests as individual. He timed this really badly.

zippididooda · Answer

By all means, you should tell him more or less exactly as you told us.

saud1998 · Answer

He bogus. He can't be with you so he went to play video games? That's a dick move. Does he know how much he means to you?

Djaaaaaay · Answer

A real relationship starts in the flesh , not in cyberspace !

DamnCurtis · Answer

Damn that is like a super dick move.

SatyricLord · Answer

Whatever your heart desires.

ThatBritishLad · Answer

Depends on the game.

My long distance boyfriend would rather play video games than talk to me. What do I do?

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