You are seriously underestimating the importance of RITUAL in our lives, in general.
Think about “initiation” ceremonies into secret societies (such as military societies, fraternities, etc.)
And cultural rites of passage, and pledges of allegiance, and national anthems, and all those formal shows of patriotism.
And… wedding ceremonies, and renewals of vows, and so on.
Think about the kind of bond that’s created by these things.
When rituals are performed regularly, people will literally go to the ends of the earth for others to whom they’re bonded through these kinds of ceremonies.
Marriage is one of these rituals -- and, believe me, no one stands up there and says "I do" with the intent of forsaking their partner down the line.
It's a fucking beautiful thing. There's NOTHING like looking into yr beloved's eyes and declaring yr commitment, in front of the world. It's wonderful, and it's sexy, and it's fucking amazing in every way.
The problem is that most people don't KEEP performing the ritual, REGULARLY, in any way.
They have one ceremony, and expect it to last the rest of their lives.
The wedding vows should be like a pledge of allegiance. They should be something you both say to each other, in stolen moments, and in the heat of passion, and in the agony of tragedy.
When it's the middle of a slow night, and you grab each other's hands for an impromptu dance in the hallway or in a parking lot... "I do."
When you're fucking hard and fast and about to cum inside her... "I do."
When you've lost a friend or a parent, and she's there to comfort you, and you can cry on her shoulder and it's ok... "I do."
When you look at that ring on yr finger, you should be *overwhelmed*. With everything that it stands for.
Building a whole life together.
That ring on yr hand stands for ALL of those things, loud and clear.
And, you should tell each other "I do" again EVERY DAY.
Even when times are hard -- ESPECIALLY when times are hard -- you should "marry" each other all over again... and suddenly the hard times won't be AS hard.
They'll still be hard, but, "I do" will help you through the worst.
The ritual should NEVER end. And if it doesn't... then, neither will yr marriage.