Should I forgive my boyfriend?

I have only been dating my boyfriend for 4 months, before we officially for together he told me he was engaged before me for 6 years. He claimed he didn't have feelings for her anymore and I believed him. I found out today that he had gotten drunk one night and began to text her and sending sexts to her. He claims it was a mistake and he doesn't love her and that he texted her because we had a huge fight and he got "scared" but he continued to talk to her afterwards. He says he is sorry and that he loves me but I'm not sure I believe him. I'm not sure I want to fogive him.. Any advise?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • A couple of preliminary questions:

    1. Have you met this lady? Do you know anything about her?
    2. Were they actual "sexts", or more just a "Hi, how are you doing?" kind of message. The desire to remain on friendly terms with exes is understandable, as is the desire for closure, or just to open the proverbial "Where are they now?" file. Sexts, on the other hand...

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    • 1. I have not, nor do I know her.
      2. I know sexts when I see them. Nothing innocent or misconceptual there.

    • Well, that is thorny, and that does weigh in favor of dropping him.

      But do keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with maintaining civility towards exes (so they don't try to maliciously wreck a guy's life, for starters!) and nothing wrong with getting closure or just answering the "Where are they now?" question. I find that so many ladies on G. A. G. get unnecessarily bent out of shape over that.

      Here's an idea: have you considered meeting the lady? Having lunch with her? Before you think that's way too weird, just consider:

      1. You might get an understanding of what he ever saw in her, and then you can be better informed about a decision to forgive him or drop him.
      2. You might even make a new friend, or even if you don't, at least you learn something about other people and how they interact.

Most Helpful Girl

  • That would be a deal- breaker for me. It seems deep down he's still clinging too and pining after his ex

    If a person's words don't harmonise with their actions then their words are meaningless People's actions tell you all to know. Being drunk isn't an excuse, because his actions when he was drunk shows who he truly thinks about.

    If you both have problems within the relationship it's you he should be contacting to work things out not his ex.

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What Guys Said 1

  • its first time yeah.. give another chance

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What Girls Said 2

  • He made it really simple for you. You have every right to tell him, very specifically that he can not keep in contact with her anymore. Stress to him that it is important to you that he cease all communication with her.

    If he continues to talk with her after that, break up with him. He doesn't respect you enough to do something so simple, and he probably isn't over her.

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  • fuck no fuck him you deserve better!!

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