Why dont I have a boyfriend yet?

ITS QUITE EMBRASSING that I've never had a boyfriend before. I never went on a date or even had my first kiss yet. I've had lots of crushes but never seem to get to talk to them. I wonder what im doing wrong? HELP!!


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Most Helpful Guy

Most Helpful Girl

  • You just told yourself what you're doing wrong: you're not talking to them.

    Dudes don't read minds and there is less of an expectation pushing them to have to approach you cold these days. You have to take some initiative and actually put yourself in front of them, so they know you exist, and show some interest in them before they'll bother to make a move.

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    • Yes you're soooo right.. i appreciate your response.. a lot of people tell me to just go and talk to my crush.. but im so shy and have a fear of rejection cause I've been hurt by rejection before.. its a guy I have a crush on now; I think I will go approach and talk to him first.. thanks

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    • Thanks a lot you were a big help..

    • I do my best.

What Guys Said 12

  • Where is your picture? The first thing a guy usually knows about you is what you look like and many guys will make a decision about you based solely on your appearance.

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    • See i feel thats what im scared of with most guys is that theyll reject me for what i look like not for my character.. im heavy girl and i think that most guys are all into smaller skinny girls thats why i dont talk to them first.. i let them approach me but that hasn't been working so i guess i need to get rid of my fears and try talking to them..

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    • @FakeName123 im a bit overweight not obese but i often feel as if every guy wants a slim women.. but a lot of people always tells me to work on myself so ill be sonewhat ready to date..

    • Guys wanting slim women is an urban myth. Girls think that while in reality guys prefer curves more often than not. There are plenty of studies of it asking guys and girls to define their favourite body-type and the guys bodies are closer to what the average woman is while the girls regulary go for very thin.

      That being said curvy doesn't mean overweight as many girls try to downplay their overweight. And since no one can see you here we don't know whats the case for you.

  • I'm sure there's plenty you're doing wrong. Off the top if my head:

    - not attractive
    - not approachable
    - not outgoing
    - not smiling
    - don't put yourself in positions to being approached
    - not flirty
    - weird/awkward
    - not taking any interest in guys
    - bitchy attitude
    - not making eye contact
    - ignoring guys

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    • I think its my shyness, fear of rejection, not being flirty and MAYBE my attitude.. I hope to get it together.. thats why i need you guys help...💁

  • Go on a date then.

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  • Its okey its not obligation to having boyfriend.. If u like any boy do not hesitate to ur feeling..

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  • What do you look like?

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  • Join a group!
    Best choice = ballroom/C&W dancing classes, leads to social dancing, et al.

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    • Not that many guys dance though.
      Maybe she could try rock climbing or cross fit?
      Dance classes may very well work well for single guys though. I've actually considered it despite being beyond terrible at it and the commute there and back.

    • Terrible we are at anything new like riding a bike, driving a car, swimming. Guys do very well as eligible dancers anywhere they go.

  • You're probably not doing anything to get their attention

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    • Yes you're right.. Im shy and have a fear of rejection cause I've been rejected bfre and it hurt.. so thats why i dont approach them

    • Most people have dealt with this at some point in your life. Keep trying.

    • I sure will keep trying.. thanks for your help and advice

  • Why don't I have a girlfriend yet?

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  • You're fine.

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  • Most likely because you're independent and don't want to.

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  • I wonder the same thing to about me and there are times I hate being born a guy because I have to be the one to accept responsibility in this

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What Girls Said 9

  • Lol I wonder the same thing... I want to tell you to wait and your time will come eventually, but is that a little too cheesy?

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    • Yes i hear that all the time.. its not chessy its the truth..

    • Actually, it's probably just some feel good nonsense they tell others to make them feel better. Society in general is allergic to truth.

  • I don't either! But I am glad!

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  • cause in everything in life you gotta work for, nothing falls from the sky. Work on ysf, get more confident, better looking, start to talk to guys.

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    • I noticed that a lot of times in my life that I have to hard for whatever it is i need and want.. sooo i think will try to talk to my crush... i hoping he likes me too fingers crossed.. lol

    • good for you if you initiate things, but prepare ysf for negative too, good luck!

    • Yes sooo true!!!

  • Just stop trying. That's how I met my boyfriend. Don't go out looking for a boyfriend go out looking for a friend and chances are you'll find someone that's more than a friend along the way.

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  • You're not talking to your crushes...

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  • You said your problem in the description. You don't talk.

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    • I dont talk due to shyness ans fear of rejection.. I gotta shake this problem.. thats why i need you guys help..

    • Whats there to be shy about? Dating is hard yes but its not impossible. You got to learn how to not be scared one screw up won't ruin your life forever. Take risks not be shy 😊

    • Well im a heavy girl and i think a lot of guys will reject me for that and not want to talk to me.. but i have a crush on this guy now soooo im thinking i will go ahead and approach him first.. hope it works out..

  • Maybe you're not putting yourself out there enough

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  • I am in the same predicament and I am 21. I am insecure in my body, which definitely does not help. But I must say, if you are trying and it hasn't come along yet, maybe it is bad timing and the right person has not presented himself.

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    • I think a lot girls are a little self conscious about their body and weight.. so you're not alone on that but i jus have been very shy and fear of rejection thats what keeps me from talking to guys.. but i have a crush on this guy now i think I'll try to talk to and see where it goes..

  • You're not approaching.

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