Can't understand why I am so nervous talking to women?

I get this overwhelming feeling of what to say, how to say and how to act when I see a girl I like. Other times which are very far and few in between I will actually talk to a girl and get her laughing, but for some reason won't ask her out. I am very inconsistent and it sucks, people keep telling don't worry it will come. The biggest thing about that is I am 30 years old and very inconsistent with women, and I have a bad habit of comparing myself with others. The reason being is because I see them, they are where I wish I could be. For example, in my class (yes in graduate school) I have this girl that I am attracted to, but was attracted to but don't think she likes black dudes like that (yes she is white), via certain things she puts up on facebook. Even though between her and her friend I tend to stutter a lot I can get them smiling and whatever, but can't seem to be smooth. I know my time has passed with her, because we have been in the same program and tried to get her go to lunch with me but she won't (some lame excuses). Then when I see her talking to this other guy whom I know is the outgoing "bad boy" type of guy she just melts all over him. So it comes down to me trying to break this mold that I have been stuck in for the past 30 years and try to be able to attract girls. I am overweight 208 (was 215) at 5'8'', I do play basketball and try to exercise when I have the chance. Then the other girls in my class are either engaged/boyfriend/married or just not attracted to me/me to them. It is just trying to get over this mental block of inferiority and getting up to a women and being able to have a very smooth conversation without interrogating her or putting her to sleep with my boring personality (I say boring because I tend to be a very quiet person, unless the girl really helps carry the conversation it will stop after the first two or three questions). Just need help with conversing with a woman and lead to a date and an actual relationship.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • To sum up a potentially very long response. Hmmm, figure out who you are , love who you are, find your purpose and don't chase tail. If a woman likes you she likes you, women do the choosing, until you realize you are the prize they won't see you as one. Focus on you and the right one will or won't come along, in the end we all die alone. But to die with realizing you lived your life now ahhhh that's the true goal. MGTOW... be a purple, red or blue pill man. But stop focusing on your dick and focus on your life.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Because you think too hard and put women on a pedestal.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Get more experience talking to people, girls if you can. You don't have to be interested in anything more than a friendly chat. Don't worry about stuttering, a good person will not let that get in the way... some may even find it endearing.

    When in a conversation, ask more questions than you talk... girls looooove that. Make sure you ask relevant questions, like "how did you feel about that?" or "were you nervous/excited?" That will get them talking.

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