Some say it's 2016 and you can do whatever you want while some disagree and say that it's unfeminine to chase after a guy. What are your thoughts on this? I personally think girls should chase after guys if they want to and it's unfair if they expect the guy to do all the work- be the first one to call, text, ask her out etc.
Women can do this, but they have to do it the same ways they want men to do it:
1) Look for subtle signs of interest from the guy before initiating.
2) Say something nice to the guy - "I like your tie" or "those are nice shoes," but not something physical, like "I like you smile" or "you have nice hair" See if he is receptive or creeped out before going further.
3) Make it known that you appreciate his good qualities and you like spending time with him. "You're so funny" or "you're so sweet" etc. Respond to the things he does in honest ways but also ways that don't demand any response. If that works out well and doesn't freak him out...
4) Tell him you like him. Don't tell him you love him. Just let him know you appreciate him and that doesn't require any obligation on his part. If he's still smiling...
5) Find some common activity you both enjoy and ask him to do things.
Or, if you are more impatient. ...
1) Dress up in a way that shows off your boobs and/or ass/legs/shoulders (assuming you are lacking in the boobs department), buy him a drink and tell him you don't need an answer that day, but you would enjoy sucking his dick if he was ever so inclined. (This is the best approach if you're not looking for any long-term relationship)
I say yes it is not only okay, but it is great. We chase things we want. Whether it is a sale going on at a store or a guy... if we want it we will try to get it. It is intimidating to go after a guy because you might get rejected. I have been rejected twice for going after guys I want but I don't regret doing it. The good news is that when you get rejected you get stronger as a person. You also get to give the shy guys a chance because you are going to them when they might have been too nervous to go to you. Win win.
The one thing I'd advise for women is let go of this notion of being "used" for sex. That's one of the most unhealthy views in the current nature of our society as I see it, and it's very dangerously incompatible with the idea of women becoming pursuers. This idea makes it so your chastity is something to be "given" away to a man.
Have sex when you want it, enjoy it, don't "give" it, and then you can never be "used". You "use" each other in the worst case scenario. If the relationship doesn't work out, you weren't "used" any worse than a man can be "used" in that case.
And it's worth noting that a thick skin is required to be the pursuer. Even successful guys in the dating scene are often used to a boatload of rejections. When you're the one choosing someone and pursuing someone, the odds are weighted against you that they feel the same way. As a result you have to learn to build that mutual interest, not take it for granted.
Anyway, I think this is a fantastic change for society that would really help balance things out. But I think there's some things women should understand if they start doing this aggressively to avoid getting burnt and traumatized by the experience.
Women become more willing to take the initiative as they grow older, especially after the age of 30. I attribute this to a combination of greater self-confidence due to life experience and a measurable decline in male interest in women, especially after the age of 35. For women who are past 30 and especially past 35, if they do not take the initiative it is likely that they will spend their nights watching television with their cats. It is not that men die or turn gay between 30 and 35, it is because as they gain life experience (being used by women, perhaps destroyed in a divorce court, seeing colleagues and relatives destroyed in divorce courts) they do a cost/risk/benefit assessment of interaction with women and decide that the juice is not worth the squeeze. I once knew the owners of two old-fashioned introduction agencies. These were the type of agencies that had physical offices and required that clients of both genders go there for an interview. Both of these owners told me this same thing, which I found interesting. They said that between the ages of 18 to 35 they had five males on their books to every female. That began to change after age 35 and by age 40 they had five females to every male. The men had not died, they were simply no longer interested and had walked away.
Right now I am not dating. partly because guys end up paying most of the cost and I simply can't afford it. The other part because I just am tired of being the one that has to chase them. I am envious of women. You get to date for free and I would LOVE to have a woman come after me the way I am expected to go after them. I am just tired of women that want to date but won't be the first to send a message online, or send that first text, etc. So I am out on POF. com and I am just waiting to see if anyone messages me. I do get messages, but they are either hideous, or too far away. check me out. username is JeffGiuliani
I wish this happened more. We're all human, why should we limit/expect certain actions based on kinds of people?
e. g. being tall shouldn't mean you're good at basketball, being a man shouldn't mean you can't be vulnerable, being tattooed shouldn't mean your job opportunities are fewer, being a person of color shouldn't mean you are any less of a person.
Being a woman shouldn't mean you can't chase guys.
But ONE thing I wish everyone actually do follow is, don't be a d*ck.
The way I look at it, you get the wrong guys asking you out if you don't chase. Shy guys like me that are fine around girls but get nervous around girls I like won't ask you out. While the pieces of shit that ask almost every single girl they see out will ask you out while you think they actually like you. No wonder why so many girls are dating garbage. I'm sure some good guys will have the confidence to ask you out, but most guys that have no problems asking girls out is most likely a player. I hear too much about girls complaining about not liking the guys that are asking them out. How about this, you ask the guys out that YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH? If you'll be happy with them, who cares if it's not feminine. Its about you being happy, not others.
Please.. Chase me!.. But please.. Keep a signal!.. When you you are weak and incapable of chasing I will come to hold you be your prey until you are strong enough to chase me again!.. Then I will again leave the trail
Yes it's okay however you shouldn't be chasing anyone, if you like someone let them know, I have no problem telling someone how I feel if it seems to be reciprocated however i'm not going to playing games.
It shouldn't matter. I hate when people go "if he's not chasing then he's not interested." No? Everyone is different. I'm pretty straight forward as a person so I usually end up chasing but of course I don't mind the guy chasing me too every now and then so I know he's interested. I don't care about these rules people set up when it comes to relationships and dating. If it's love it's love.
I think its perfectly fine for a girl to chase a guy as in this day and age; gender roles are no longer becoming apart of new changes in society. I have personally chased guys before who I really liked and was interested in and from experience it can go either two ways: One, they will be flattered and keep in contact with you and get to know you and Two, they will keep in contact with you and use you for an ego boost or sex. Not saying ALL guys do that; I've met some amazing guys but there are those few who take advantage of women. There are those guys out there who think just because a girl makes the first move think they want sex or a "friends with benefits" or gives them a right to string them along. But as I said before its perfectly fine for a girl to chase a guy; just be cautious on who you let your heart out to.
"it's unfair if they expect the guy to do all the work- be the first one to call, text, ask her out etc."
BS. It's perfectly natural for a woman to expect men to do these things. Why? See "The Sexy Son" hypothesis. Women expect men to do these things, so that when/if they have sons, their sons will also be courageous enough to chase women, and thus be more likely to spread their (and consequently, their mother's) genes. In contrast, their daughters could reproduce just fine even if they don't chase any men, because there would be men to approach her.
I do think it's totally okay for women to chase men, and I encourage them to do it. Studies show that women who approach men obtain their desired mates in greater numbers than women who expect men to approach them.
There have also been studies that show that women have greater regrets in the area of romance, particularly when it comes to not approaching men they may have been interested in. Thus, women shouldn't be afraid to approach men. They're more likely to get their desired men that way.
I do not like the word 'chase'. I think ot is ok to show your interest, flirt, give hints in a funny way, guys love these. Just do not be over the top, like the girl who was following a guy when he came to ask me to dance with him...
Only on here will you find guys who want women to chase men, but not in the real world where the real men are at... or what's left of em lmao. Guys don't like when women chase them. Why? Cause I've seen it happen and they don't respect women who do. Men are the pursuers and always have been. Soo, ya, I will never chase a man lol.
I wouldn't chase a guy b/c then you wouldn't know where he stands. if a guys likes you, you will know it. if he is crippled by shyness, you can help him out but still, guys go after what they want the vast majority of the time. now, if you are just looking for friends with benefits or something, then that's fine.
Topanga pushed Cory against the lockers and gave him his first kiss. Topanga proposed to Cory on graduation day. This happened 15+ years ago. Do it, it's 2016 now, it shouldn't be considered 'unfeminine'.
My last experience was pretty bad. After I took the first step and we started dating he suddenly left me because a girl he was chasing finally gave him a chance... so i don't know what to say about this. But it's nice to see so many guys don't mind for the girl to initiate something :) it gives me courage to talk to my crush haha