I am sick of trying to impress girls enough to try to form a relationship, do you think that the tides?

I think it has to do with the persona that guys are the ones that have to be the one who takes the first step towards a relationship, but do you think or are you a girl who would be willing to do the same for a guy you like? After being hurt a few times about girls I have been really close with and not getting to be in a relationship with I just feel like I no longer want to waste any time with a girl unless I know that a relationship can be a sure thing or that she would be interested in approaching me first. I just wonder what both girls and guys think about this topic!

Updates:
I forget to add a few words to the title!!! I cannot believe it! I was supposed to write "can change" at the end of it

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Most Helpful Girl

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Most Helpful Guy

  • >> After being hurt a few times about girls I have been really close with and not getting to be in a relationship with I just feel like I no longer want to waste any time [...]

    Ask girls out sooner before you even like them that much. Just a little thought like, "Oh, she's pretty, and I might like her if I get to know her more".

    Get her to laugh or just be interested in what you have to say in a conversation and then ask her out right then and there. It could be the first day you meet her, no problem. If she says "no", whatever, onto the next girl.

    You burn yourself out with just a handful of rejections if you really fall for a girl deeply before you ask them out.

    It's easier to build a mutual bond on a date. You set yourself up for the most painful and awkward failure if you develop a very one-sided interest in a girl and then ask her out.

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    • Great points given... however, I am not the type of person to do that to someone I just met. It needs to have time settle and to get to know them before I could ever think about a relationship, that is why they are just so painful when they end up not working out! :/

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    • Hey you used some great analogies and examples! Thank you for everything! You also had some great real life examples that definitely see the world in a different way which is what I wanted! There are a lot of girls out there and I know that opportunity is endless it's just about the right time and place to find one! That's a fantastic way to look at it and to not ever feel down for rejection because there is always someone else to meet!

    • I've always been someone to like skinnier girls as I am really skinny myself so that is I guess my "type" but I am open to other ethnicities and such because you really never know who you'll meet and fall in love with and your example truly shows that!

What Girls Said 2

  • i think that ur just like any other guy who thinks that love is effortless, hence why they end up in failed relationship after failed relationship. u have a societal expectation to initiate, GET OVER IT. you dont like it, dont do it. quite simple really. u wanna wait for a female to come up to u declaring her love, go ahead and wait lol...

    some of y'all, i swear... you dont understand that love is EFFORT. it's tough. it's doing things u dont always wanna do, but u do em because it makes her happy, and when u do this, you AS INITIATOR will receive the same treatment in return with a woman who u know is worth it.

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  • Of course I would take the first step. I have the personality type in which I am fine having someone else lead, but I take the lead if I sense that is what the other person wants.

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    • That's awesome! I wish more girls had this type of personality! 😂

    • Thanks, haha! I've always seen it as kind of a gift. I do this with my friendships too. I usually sit back and let the other friend be the one in charge, but when the friend is timid and I can tell they need leadership, I step up to the plate. I think it's definitely a good thing being able to both lead and follow.

    • Definitely! Me, I don't think I am someone to ever follow anyone so that's not me lol! Then again, I would love to have a girl confront me first instead of me being the person to do it all the time!

What Guys Said 2

  • why would you try and impress girls if they dont want to impress you? they want a a man to be a gentleman to show he cares about a woman but how do they show they care for you? i mean you can't expect a man to give you a special treatment and leave him in uncertainty all the time.

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    • I agree with you one hundred percent! This girl obviously does not understand because she is not a guy and does not understand the struggles that we face by societal norms

  • I think it is very unlikely. I remember being 19 and feeling the same as you. I am 28 years and while I have kissed and had sex with women, being in a relationship looks very unlikely.

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    • Oh wow a relationship still is off the table to you? Have you put yourself out there at all? Maybe one day it may be a possibility! :)

    • Yes I have. I would not have been able to kiss and have sex with a woman if I did not put myself out there. As you grow older, you will realize that it will not matter what you do. Either women want to be with you or not. My advice to you is to think of other things besides women.

    • Lol are you saying think about men as an option instead? I'm sorry but that's not what I am into if that's what you mean

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