What are the signs of a controlling relationships? If you have ever been in a controlling relationship how did you deal with it?
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I haven't been in one but I've had a controlling friend in the past, and I know all the signs of one.
It starts off with little things and progresses into bigger things. It might start off as "hey, I don't like that friend of yours" and end with "cut them out of your life". They'll slowly try to get you to cut out every single person you know but them, even family members. Your "safety net". This, so that they can assure that nobody will be able to talk some sense into you. They'll tell lies that'll make you want to do it.
They might also try to control what you wear, like certain outfits are not ok because they're "worried" about what other people might think or do, or they'll flat out tell you that you look disgusting/like a whore/any other insult and demand you go change, because your outfit is so unacceptable.
Any other form of verbal and physical abuse can also be controlling. They want to make you submissive, and lower your self-esteem to the point of you not even being your own person anymore. They'll tell you stuff like "you should be happy I'm with you, because nobody else wants to", making it out like they're blessing you with their presence and that you should be thankful for the abuse, since it's the only thing you deserve.
They will also make you question yourself. Whenever they do something stupid, mean or abusive, and you end up confronting them, they'll tell you that you're overreacting. That you're the one with the problem. That you're misunderstanding. That you're looking at it the wrong way. That nobody else has an issue with this but you. Essentially, blaming you for what they did, and making you have second thoughts about why you even confronted them in the first place. The point is essentially to normalize the abuse, and make you think that you're the one in the wrong and that you should apologize for "overreacting".
What people in these relationships should do is try their best to recognize the signs, and get out. But obviously that's easier said than done, because 1. victims of abuse are usually, in essence, brainwashed and 2. leaving a controlling person can be very dangerous, to the point of life-threatening.
So what they should do is contact the police, run away, stay with friends and family and try to be as safe as possible. Hopefully until either the partner gets thrown in jail or gives up on trying to get them back.
The controlling friend I had always tried to shift the blame on me for everything he did wrong.0