Can you hate/dislike someone at first and fall in love with them later?

It seems like a few people said thats how they met there s. o?

I've personally never grown to love someone over time. Its kind of unfathomable to me that it happens to people.

So I'm wondering how you guys feel about this phenomenon.

  • I have or could fall in love with someone i used to dislike/hate
    60% (25)53% (27)56% (52)Vote
  • I have or could date someone that started out as a friendship
    24% (10)33% (17)29% (27)Vote
  • I have not or could not date someone that was a friend or enemy. There has to be a connection off the bat.
    16% (7)14% (7)15% (14)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I haven't had that happen. But a lot of my best childhood friends I started out with hating their guts so maybe it'd work with love. Although now I think I have a better judgement of character so if I hate someone it's going to take a lot for me to not dislike them.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I didn't like my boyfriend that much before we started dating

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What Guys Said 19

  • If I dislike a woman there is a good reason for it. She made me think that way of her for whatever reason. I could learn to enjoy her company. However, I would never forget this original feeling.

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  • If I hate someone there is definitely a strong reason behind it. So personally, no I can't grow to love someone I hate. That said, plenty of people quarrel out of selfishness with someone and think they hate them because they're drama queens. Once they get past their own thickheadedness they start to appreciate the person over time as they learn more about them, even though they didn't get their way...

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  • It could happen, if I eventually came to see that I either have no reason to really hate them, or because I just stopped hating them. Though it's more likely for me to fall in love with someone I started out as friends with.

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  • Seen it happen, she played her hand well, is all. Won't work like that for me, though. If I have reason to dislike the person in question, it will stay that way.

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  • I had a infatuation with a female co-worker I did 110% hands down. I did some out of character stuff it seemed to get this girls attention, I acted on signals (she went to lunch with me, laughed joked, had many online chats, knew things about each other variety of things etc.) we felt comfortable with each other. She would ask hey are you joining us for lunch all giddy sounding... always looking at me when a joke was told and laughing.

    Then I woke up one day and realized, whoa I really like this person. Instantly a nervousness feeling set in.. whenever I seen her I felt differently, I told my friend about it, and the next thing I know, he goes online and tells her I have a big fat crush on her, and all I had been saying (i guess to spark it between the both of us, get her reaction etc.)

    I get deleted with no explanation, and she starts acting differently. She got cold and ignores me and I backed off (wasn't sure didn't wanna get into trouble) I let many months pass and try to talk to her again and she seems so shy and won't have any conversation with me, not even hello and if they are any, it's very short and to the point, and very brief Eye contact. 99% of the time she won't even acknowledge even greet/goodbye.. I can literally be standing beside her and she looks through me... If I get up to get something off the printer, she starts looking around the room for me I think (seems awful coincidental)

    After avoiding each other for so long I join the group for lunch again hoping things cleared up. Its peaceful. She only looks and talks to the other people sitting there like I'm invisible, when she gets up to leave, every time she will get up walk over stand beside me (like 2 feet, touching the back of the chair in my personal space kind of) and keep talking the, she turns and leaves.

    I just don't get it. I feel like she likes me, but the way she leaves me out and ignores my existence makes me second guess tbings, whether I'm imagining things or not

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    • For whatever reason she's probably not interested anymore. Maybe she found someone else or is into games, which you dont want. So your probably better off with someone not so confusing.

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    • I dont what you would be feeling guilty for. Nor do I think you should. My guess is maybe she liked you but for reasons know to her didn't think you two should be together to she kept her distsnce. Now that you won't be around ahe feels safe talking to you again and wants to end things on good terms.

    • I guess it makes sense all I want is good terms, we will see if there's any difference this week, since it's my last week. She was looking to apply for a job with earlier hours, now that I'm going, if my job comes up I thought about telling her to apply if she wanted it, and to never settle for anything less than she deserves

  • Sometimes our first impression of people is incorrect. But it depends on how you judge people. I just people by their acts, which means I'm rarely wrong about a person.

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  • That would seem weird to me

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  • Yes I can.

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  • highly unlikely

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  • Lol yup it's possible.

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  • Yeah that's possible :)

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  • Yeah this girl hated someone then they got married. Was funny.

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  • Almost every woman I've slept with has hated me at some point. So I'd have to say yeah its possible for sure

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    • Im specifically talking about before you start dating/having sex.

    • A good number of them yeah. I just come up with execuses to apologize and that always gets me in.

  • Probably.

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  • I voted A.
    I only hated her because they kept breaking things off with me! It was a shit 2 year on and off relationship and I loved her so I put up with it...

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  • yes, and best thing is the angry rough sex between moving from hating them to loving them )))))))))

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  • Not love but She would come Sexy to me.

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  • Yeah. Look at Ron and Hermione.

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    • Lol, fictional characters don't count.

  • It depends why I disliked them

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What Girls Said 11

  • Funny I should see this directly after reading Pride and Prejudice...
    Personally, I wouldn't say that I'd fallen in love with someone who I'd previously hated, but I don't think it is impossible. There has been one case, where a guy I found to be really rude and didn't like him at all turned out to be not as bad as I thought, and I became very attracted to him.

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  • If it's disliked, probably not. But I would never turn down a friend, unless we don't share the same values. That is more important.

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  • I voted C... im sure its possible for you to hate someone and fall for them. But i dont think its possible for you to be friends first. I've tried that and I just couldnt feel the same way he did- its usually one person that wants to move past the friend zone. which complicates things

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  • It happened to me. I used to hate him and hés the guy I loved the most so far.

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  • I don't dislike people easily and when I do I have a good reason. Don't think that could switch to love. I have fallen for guys later on after just being friends or neutral towards each other first.

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  • I'm dealing with that problem now. I went on a few dates with this guy and didn't feel the chemistry so I said I wanted to be friends even though he wanted something serious. As we continued to still spend time together, he was convincing himself that nothing more than friendship would happen, while I started growing feelings for him. Now I'm ready for a commitment and he "can't decide" what he wants and doesn't know if we're meant to be together. Not sure where things will go from here or how to get him to figure it out.

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  • ... Did that. Ended up hating them again in the end

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  • That's definitely the case with me

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  • Oh yeahhhh, I hated this guy at my gym. Couldn't bare to look at him because he pissed me off so much, always stares at me!!! And now I can't stop thinking about him. So it is very possible.

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  • Slut

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  • Never happened to me. People I like nowadays I always like them. People I dislike they always happened to be bad person

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