Should I stay or Leave?

I have a boyfriend who I have been friends with for 1yr and 2 years of dating and because we are so busy I don't get to see him much. I have caught him looking at videos of girls which makes me feel uncomfortable and he knows it but he still does it. He says it's normal but then why look at other girls if he has me? He says he is curious but I mean it's not like he is a kid he is in his late 20s. Should I break up with him? Or work things out?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Number of questions (1) It is okay to look at other women, it does not lessen his attraction for you BUT (2) If you are uncomfortable and ask him to stop to which he says no point blank, that is a red flag.
    Talk about it and then come to a decision.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's natural for people to find other people attractive , even if they are in love , but if something makes you feel uncomfortable then he should respect that.

    I guess you have to decide whether his behaviour is a deal breaker or not.

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What Guys Said 2

  • >> He says it's normal but then why look at other girls if he has me?

    No married guy I've ever met masturbates to his wife. He's doing it to other women, either in his imagination or on a screen.

    It's just the basic kind of male sex drive. It's not programmed for monogamy. There's not a switch that flips off when a guy is with a girl that suddenly finds all other women unattractive.

    Monogamy is a commitment and sacrifice of the dick for a woman the heart wants above all else. Pornography tends to make it easier to accept.

    I think it's a silly thing to break up over, since every guy does this either in imagination or with a computer/television screen.

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    • When the hand and imagination/visuals of other women is considered cheating, then probably every man on the planet outside of a honeymoon phase is a cheater. It's something that would help relationships so much to understand.

      One thing that does help is to be available for sex 24/7 whenever he wants it (generally not possible let alone fair). It's because male sex drive is generally more inconvenient than female sex drive. It works like an explosive crescendo from not wanting sex at all to gradually wanting to rape a goat if enough time passes without a release as sperm builds up. If he's extremely mad with lust as a result of not having masturbated or had sex for days, he's going to have this incredible urge to get it out of his system.

      That's when he's less likely to masturbate if you're around and in the mood. That helps cut down on the hand/porn/imagination and will also boost your sex lives. It's a matter of timing. Female sex drive is so much more convenient [...]

    • [...] since it tends to operate in a fashion that can always want sex yet likewise go for even a whole week without any masturbation/sex without driving the woman absolutely insane with lust.

      It's kind of matching these two forces together and timing them perfectly that's the challenge in a monogamous relationship.

  • Guys watch porn...

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What Girls Said 3

  • Like videos of porn? In that case it is particularly normal and very common. He has you yes, but you're not the one sending him spicy hot videos, not that you have to but porn is something that men AND women watch, its not about the girl its about the action being done.

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  • mmmm spice things up and watch with him :P

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  • well you dont see him much and you live in the same area thats a bad sign by itself. Im sure you're not busy to an extent of not having half an hour for lunch or coffee or a chilling at the house. Break up

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