Guy 1: very very handsome, he's sweet and cute and treats me nicely, but he's on vacation where there's no wifi so contact will be slim to none for the next 2 months and I'm not sure how much he likes me. Guy 2: very handsome as well, sweet, but he's been around and he's been an asshole to other females in the past, he says he really likes me and that he's trying to change and that's why he wants to take things slow because he doesn't trust himself yet.
I like both of them a lot and i see boyfriend potential in both these guys, but i don't want to lead either one of them on and them dump them when I've finally made my decision, so i feel like i need to make my choice now... Advice please?
Write down some questions that u would need specific answers to from anyone u would want to spend the rest of your life with. Do u want kids What's your goal in life Do u want to get married one day What do u think of guys that hit women Just add to it all that you would want to know and give them to each one. Their answers will point you to one of them or away from both of them.
Well. If there is one thing I have learned is that people that say they want to change usually don't, because they would have changed already. I mean, if "Guy 2" says he wants to take things slow that's somewhat reassuring, but to me it seems like "Guy 1" seems like the better alternative even if you have to wait for him (figure out if you find him worth the wait!). Of course you could stay in contact with "Guy 2" if he manages to pull himself together. But again, people have troubles changing...
I wish you the best of luck with whomever you chose.
Why do you need to choose between them? Usually people date around before settling into a monogamous relationship. You can hangout with both of them (not at the same time!) no? Just be honest with them.
When it does come time to make a decision, my advice is not to chose based on comparing the two men -- chose based on how each of them makes you feel. Different parts of our personality tend to emerge with different people. With which man are you the person you wish to be?
I know it's hard, but you have to go with your gut. Be wary of Guy 2 - he may be trying to change, he may not. It's up to you to determine whether he really is changing. Because, for all the people saying choose Guy 1 because "Guy 2 used to be an asshole" - everyone has a past. My own boyfriend used to be proud of being a self proclaimed "douchebag" (I was with him during this) and now? He's not a douche. He wanted to change. He treats me and others well, and I'm so proud of him for it. So Guy 2 could be a possibility - just be wary.
I also think that since Guy 2 says he wants to take things slowly, he wants something with you. And Guy 1 isn't around you either... So why delay a potential relationship just because someone is away on vacation? If you end up falling for Guy 2 more, that's not anyone's "fault." I say give it a try. You can still talk to Guy 1 when he gets back and be his friend, too.
Tell the first one that you want to wait until he gets back to try things and go out with the second. If you don't like the second then you can try things with the first. It's not cheating cause you didn't say you were in a relationship with either